You have probably come across people who can arouse interest and attract the attention of others for a long time. And the point here is not at all in their extravagant antics or stunning appearance - the interlocutors were fascinated by the charisma of these personalities. They had a special gift for arousing sympathy, trust and a desire to imitate themselves.

What is this magical quality? How to develop charisma? These questions are by no means idle, because it is she who often becomes the source of success. This is what our article is about.

What is charisma

Let's take a closer look at what exactly is hidden under the term "charisma". This definition implies a set of qualities that help a person to stand out from others, to carry them along.

But pay attention: a person becomes noticeable not thanks to extravagant or even hooligan antics, testifying to contempt or even hatred of others, but, on the contrary, knows how to inspire confidence in people and confidence in their own wisdom and even exclusivity.

Yes, everyone would like to have charisma. Fortunately, this is not an innate quality - it is acquired through self-improvement, which means that anyone can acquire it. So how do you develop charisma?

The main qualities of a charismatic personality

To have charisma, you need to train and acquire certain character traits. And perhaps the main one among them is self-confidence. A charismatic person has firm decision-making and a willingness to follow his own course. Such a person is able to fight for his beliefs, and this always inspires others. And that's why they are always ready to be near to "get infected" with such power.

So, about confidence in own forces and firmness in following a promise made to oneself should be remembered first of all when thinking about how to develop charisma. Exercises that allow you to acquire these qualities should be reduced to maintaining and developing certain character traits in oneself.

1. Appearance will help you gain inner confidence

In order to believe in yourself and in your strengths, you need to find an inner support that will help these thoughts to become stronger, become habitual and eventually turn into a character trait. And in this, taking care of your own appearance will help you.

It has been noticed that the most positive impression is made by a person who looks impeccable. No, when deciding how to develop charisma, a woman and a man do not have to buy haute couture clothes and visit expensive beauty salons (although this also does not hurt!). But anyone can perform elementary actions in this direction. Every day, you should take the time to look at your appearance and look a little prettier than necessary, whether you go to work, to the theater, or to the nearest café.

And forget about your shortcomings. Stop telling yourself that if you had a different nose, belly, legs (and further down the list), everything would be different. Actor Stallone has had a damaged facial nerve since childhood, but his crooked smile has long become the hallmark of a self-confident person.

2. Getting rid of complexes

For a self-confident person, the opinion of others ceases to be decisive. He does not try to please everyone (keep in mind, this is a priori impossible!). Charisma implies your calm and benevolent attitude towards those around you. That is, you do not need to win sympathy - act as if this has already happened. And, to your surprise, this will surely resonate with others.

Regardless of who needs to get an answer to the question "how to develop charisma" (man or woman), everyone should stop thinking about their own shortcomings, and even more so to look for them in themselves. Each of us is what he is, and this must be respected in himself. And there will always be critics, especially if you succeed. Alas, such is life!

3. Don't be afraid to be wrong!

There are no and never have been people who have not made mistakes. Remember this and forgive yourself the wrong steps that you have already taken in life. After all, if you remember them, it means that they taught you a lot. And this, you see, is excellent. Now that you have become wiser, you continue on your path and move on with confidence, pondering how to develop charisma to improve your quality of life.

Mistakes make you more experienced and wiser, and a charismatic person is attractive precisely for this quality. After all, only wisdom allows him to be tolerant of other people's oversights and condescending to human weaknesses. But at the same time, note that you should not turn into a nanny for unlucky people and try to help everyone, regardless of whether you have been asked to do so. Allow those around you to live their lives as they see fit.

4. Learn to boldly look at what is happening to you

Agree, it is illogical to think about how to develop male (or female) charisma, and at the same time be afraid of responsibility. A charismatic person will not blame only external circumstances for what happened. He always realizes that everyone is the creator of his own happiness. And what happens in life is the result of his choice, and not of the intrigues of evil uncles and aunts who harm him at every step.

In order not to come back to these thoughts all the time, every time you have something important, ask yourself the question: "What did I do for this?" At first, you will feel how everything inside resists, nodding to the coincidence of circumstances. But over time, this will pass - and you can honestly discuss the situation with yourself. And, mind you, excessive self-flagellation will also go away - you will simply calmly search and find a way out. In addition, now you, as a truly charismatic person, will not be afraid to commit risky and responsible actions.

But do not go to the other extreme: being responsible for your actions does not mean that you should be responsible for the whole world. That is, if you don't go with high temperature to work, your office won't collapse!

5. Develop your talents

A charismatic person always knows his strengths and weaknesses. He is able to compensate for disadvantages or turn them into advantages. And strong qualities are to be emphasized and actively applied. Therefore, when thinking about how to develop charisma, it is important to find talents in yourself and develop them.

To do this, focus only on yourself and your hobbies. Try it, do not be afraid that something will not work out - sooner or later it will turn out that everything turns out as well as possible. Do not follow the lead of "well-wishers". If you want to discover new stars, and you are advised to a warm place in the trade, do not agree. After all, you will feel out of place and most likely you will not achieve success.

A little more about charisma

When thinking about how to develop female charisma, or how to make a man a charismatic person, remember: it is your personality that will be the starting point on this path. Do not be afraid to be original, love yourself and people, value your abilities and do not give in to difficulties - all this can make you a leader, interesting to others and able to lead. Go for it!

Each of us has such a friend. A person who, in principle, can do nothing and still remain the center of attention. I've always envied such people. It seemed like being handsome or tall: if you were unlucky at birth, there was no chance of catching up.

To be honest, I can't even give a precise definition of the word “charisma”. What's this? Facial features? Character? A special attraction? I don’t know, but I’m sure that I can immediately distinguish a charismatic person from an ordinary person. Just like you.

"I feel good without charisma" - forget about it

The main difference charismatic people is that they can influence other people. And the latter will even like it. This is primarily useful at work and in business. Research and facts are not needed to confirm these words. Remember your attitude towards a friend or acquaintance with charisma, and you will understand that all this is true. We often say that money is the main thing. Sometimes it turns out that connections with the right people become more priority. And charisma is a set of qualities that can provide you with connections.

The good news is, charisma is not born.

It's easy to check. Think of any person you think is charismatic. If you communicate with him more often than once a week, you will notice that his charisma is not always present. Nobody can be charismatic 24/7. It takes too a large number effort.

In Leadership Development in Balance, Bruce Avolio provides a lot of evidence for this. For example, Marilyn Monroe, who was simply gorgeous in public and who was recognized by everyone. But for the sake of experiment, she went to the subway several times. And no one recognized her there. Why?

Developing charisma is hard work.

Many famous personalities have worked for a long time to get into the category of charismatic. For example, Steve Jobs was unable to perform in public. His phrases sounded unconvincing, and his tone was boring. Years of training have passed and he has developed his charisma skills, becoming one of the examples for those who want to learn how to speak in public.

Charisma is to truly be where you are

There are many ways to be charismatic. Charisma Myth author Olivia Caban believes that the easiest way is to truly be where you are. This means listening to the interlocutor carefully and sincerely. If you do him that honor, you will be perceived as a charismatic person.

The advice is quite difficult to execute. Sincerely empathizing with the other person and listening carefully, even if you are not interested, is a difficult task. But this is the first obstacle that separates a charismatic person from an ordinary person. Interesting American research has shown that we often think about things that have nothing to do with what is happening at the moment. And the only activity to which we give ourselves completely is sex. But if you can be with your interlocutor here and now, at the moment, then this will already set you apart from the rest. People will feel your attention and that they are everything to you. At least for now.

Basic qualities

Human survival as an individual has always been associated with other people. In an extreme situation, we must determine whether the person wants to help us and whether he can really do it. Therefore, a charismatic person must have two more skills:

1. Power.
2. Helpfulness and warmth.

We subconsciously consider people who combine kindness and strength to be positive and try to keep them as close as possible. It is the combination of these qualities that is important. Someone powerful and powerful enough may seem impressive, but not charismatic.

An interesting case proving this happened back in the 19th century. The British newspaper journalist had the opportunity to meet with two candidates for the post of Prime Minister: William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli. Both candidates were considered influential, educated, and strong. Having dined with both, the journalist came to the following conclusion:

After lunch with Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the smartest man in all of England. But after lunch with Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the smartest man in England.

Unsurprisingly, Disraeli won that election.

Types of charisma

According to Olivia, there are several types of charisma:

1. The charisma of the visionary- to inspire people and make them believe. An example is Steve Jobs.
2. Charisma of kindness- to make others feel important. An example is the Dalai Lama.
3. Charisma of authority- make others believe that you have the power to change their lives. An example is Bill Gates.
4. Focus charisma- to show the person that at the moment you are focused only on him. An example is Bill Clinton.

The type of charisma you choose depends on several things: your personality, goals, and situation. You should not choose and train the style that does not match your character. If you are an open and kind person, you should not try to over-exercise your authority. Especially if you feel that it is contrary to your principles.

How to deal with discomfort

Any kind of discomfort, be it physical or mental, will immediately knock you out of your rut. It's very difficult to try to pay attention to a person when you put on a spiky warm sweater and now he has turned you into one itchy rubbed spot. Less urgent situations, such as hunger or the awkwardness of meeting new people, will also hinder your charisma.

Behavioral research professor Pentland believes there are three ways to deal with discomfort:

1. Prevent.
2. Recognize.
3. Explain.

To prevent is to plan ahead comfortable conditions for yourself. Recognize - understand in time that you are uncomfortable and you cannot force yourself to pay attention to the interlocutor. Explain - openly tell the other person what your problem is and try to fix it.

Another good way cope with discomfort - stop creating drama. Thousands of people found themselves in awkward situations, meeting new people, or feeling uncomfortable in the presence of someone else. Knowing that your case is not unique and can be easily overcome can help you relieve embarrassment, discomfort, and shame. The latter is most important. When you are ashamed, you cannot be charismatic. Even if you try. Remember that all situations that you go through are normal, the response to which is determined by our survival mechanism and evolution.

Everyone can be charismatic. Charisma is a combination of body language and experience of working on yourself and your communication skills. It takes experience to build confidence, so feel free to communicate as much as possible. And understanding that any of your reactions - both positive and negative - is just the work of an evolutionary mechanism will help you get rid of discomfort.

No one doubts that it is charisma that makes a leader a leader, after whom people are ready to be inspired to follow. A charismatic boss can motivate the team to accomplish much more than a raise in salary.

Some sociologists define charisma as a superpower, and charismatic as a person with supernatural strength. After analyzing thousands of famous leaders, they came to the conclusion: charisma is a set of certain qualities.

Qualities of a Charismatic Leader

• Concentration not on yourself, but on your employees

Effective leadership always means that the leader has a great understanding of the specifics of his team. What is good for these is not good for others. Therefore, in order to be a charismatic leader, you need to understand your subordinates well and be in contact with them.

The stronger the relationship, the better. When employees interact with a charismatic boss, they feel his authority and even a certain greatness.

• Extroversion

The charisma of a leader implies active recruitment and involvement of employees in work, so it is difficult to imagine that a charismatic boss would be constantly closed in himself. A charismatic person is always cheerful and energizes others.

This does not mean that an introvert cannot be a charismatic person, but he will have to try very hard, because contacts with people exhaust him, while an extrovert, on the contrary, is fueled by them.

• Brilliant negotiation

A charismatic leader is not easily an outgoing person; he has the gift of being especially expressive and accurate in his message. He can tell interesting story on the occasion and give the right example. His conversation flows smoothly and engagingly. He knows how to frankly express his feelings.

Such qualities are often given from birth, but you can consciously instill them in yourself.

• Empathy

In order to be charismatic, it is not enough to be able to involve employees in work and find contact with them. Empathy is what a leader can never become charismatic without.

Even Aristotle singled out empathy as an indicator of character and fortitude. People are always able to identify genuine empathy. Therefore, a leader will not be able to develop strong emotional bonds with employees if he does not demonstrate that he really understands and accepts other people's interests.

Without a doubt, charisma is not so much an innate gift as a skill that can be developed and refined before it develops into true leadership.

Influence on the masses can be achieved both by an imperious and decisive person, and by a self-doubting person. Both an open, extroverted personality and a closed introvert can become a charismatic person. A person who is inclined to research activity and one who takes active action.

Vanity Benito Mussolini, vulnerable dictator Steve Jobs, lover of women and luxury Silvio Berlusconi. They are very different, but they have something in common - the ability to make a strong impression on their audience. And each of them with the help of this achieves the main thing - power, authority and the ability to influence others.

How to develop charisma?

1. Become internally free

Charisma is inconceivable without significant inner freedom of the individual. This means the ability to see the world in its own way, as well as freedom from a number of restrictions that most people follow. It's the freedom to come up with your own goals.

Many people deliberately give up freedom, voluntarily placing it in the hands of a leader, because they do not know what to do with it. They are not ready to take responsibility for themselves and their decisions. To be charismatic means to be freer than others, to be able to navigate in the world of possibilities and to be able to make decisions.

2. Be highly motivated

Whatever the goal of a novice leader: to earn money, achieve comfort and safety, provide for a family, realize his potential, achieve a high social status - he inevitably comes to the understanding that his actions are of high social significance. Whatever he does, it is very important for hundreds and thousands of people.

A charismatic leader must shape his mission and high purpose... His task is to realize something large-scale in order to give others new opportunities. A charismatic person always gives the world more than he takes from him.

3. Have a lot of ideas

A charismatic person always wants a lot, he needs change and movement forward. Passivity is disgusting to him. He does not like vacation, because he starts to suffer and get bored. He has a lot of enthusiasm. He is very proactive and willing to fight circumstances and inconveniences to make the world a better place.

Most people do not come up with new ideas at all, not because they lack intelligence or experience, but because of the internal prohibition on challenging the current state of affairs. The leader, thanks to his inner freedom, is able to step over such obstacles.

4. Be independent

The leader always emphasizes his independence and independence. Consciously or not, he seeks to take over the reins of leadership in any group, wherever he finds himself - at work, in the family, on the basketball team.

A charismatic person does not need external justifications for his actions, he only needs his own, internal motives. A person who claims a great mission must sincerely believe that he has a special destiny. He is convinced that he is doing a good deed and is doing it right.

5. Have your own principles and be able to be guided by expediency

In making decisions, leaders are guided not by moral standards, but by expediency. It is inappropriate to fine an employee for the sake of his pleasure. It is also inappropriate not to fine an employee when a misconduct requires punishment, when otherwise the discipline of the entire team will be violated. If the leader is guided by expediency, then he gets rid of unnecessary worries and pangs of conscience.

In addition to expediency, a charismatic person can define important principles for himself, for example, "repay a debt at any cost." Principles, too, eliminate suffering and the need to make difficult decisions every time. A charismatic is a person with principles and his own rules.

To become charismatic, you need to not only set goals, but also be able to fulfill them. Derive your own principles and be able to follow them. A leader who has power over others and knows how to manage them has power, above all, over himself.

Charisma is the ability to win over any people, to attract glances and attention, to force yourself to listen and admire. Charisma isn't just about good looks, it's about more. You want to be equal to a charismatic person, to imitate him. Some people have been given this property from birth, and they are definitely lucky. But if you are not one of these people, do not despair - you can develop charisma in yourself on your own. Of course, this requires a lot of effort and time. However, the result will please you - having charisma, you can easily enter into the relationships you need with people, establish contacts and just communicate with people you are interested in. Charisma will help in both business and personal relationships.

Show self-confidence

It is always more pleasant to be around such people than with doubters in every step. Self-confidence will not replace your complete charisma, but it can make it more “convincing”. Here the question immediately arises: how to develop self-confidence if it is not there? You can write a separate article on this topic, and more than one. While we will tell you the most general recommendations.

1) Radiate positive. Confident people love themselves (within adequate limits) and what they do. Therefore, they have no reason to be negative towards other people or phenomena. A self-confident person will never begin a conversation (and even less familiar with a new person) with claims, discontent or conflict. We are talking about the negative in general, both in relation to the interlocutor and to strangers or events. Talk more about what you love and respect. It is better to keep silent about hatred, irritation and criticism.

2). You must learn to convey your thoughts in such a way that those around you can easily believe. Your voice should not be monotonous - change the rhythm, timbre, volume level. Add emotional coloring, highlight the most important phrases in your story with intonation. Helpful Exercise: Record the way you speak. As you listen to the recording, you will notice shortcomings in your speech that you have not paid attention to before, and gradually eliminate them.

3) Like yourself. If a person doesn't like something about himself, he cannot be confident. And not everyone can put on a mask of confidence, and is it necessary? We all have our shortcomings, for which we do not love ourselves or reproach. And it will eat up all our confidence. Fight the shortcomings, and emphasize the merits. Love yourself both externally (tidy up your figure, dress in beautiful clothes) and internally (follow your life principles in any situation).

Watch your body language

Psychologists have long established that most of the information received from the interlocutor, we perceive through his non-verbal behavior. Non-verbalika will tell much more about a person than his words. Of course, the most "honest" body language is the one that comes from a person unconsciously. But since you undertook to develop charisma in yourself, then you also need to correct your body language.

1) Always keep your back straight. Enter the premises with a bold, decisive step. When talking, use your hands to gesture, helping yourself to better convey the spoken words to your interlocutor. Avoid crossing your arms or legs while sitting. This pose will signal your closeness. Also, try not to keep your hands near your face.

2) When you meet a new person, willingly shake his hand and smile, look directly in the eyes. If you are talking while standing, then do not shift from foot to foot, if while sitting, do not fidget in the chair. Try to be light and relaxed.

3) Copy gestures and other non-verbal signs of your interlocutor. Only this must be done very carefully, almost imperceptibly. The point is that a person who does not speak very loudly and with restraint will be more comfortable communicating with the same interlocutor. Anyone who gestures a lot and smiles broadly is more likely to like an equally active and affable person.

4) Always show your interest when speaking. Look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, not around. If you look at your watch or phone, it will mean that you are bored and uninteresting to communicate with this person.

5) Sit in front of a mirror and start a conversation with yourself. It doesn't matter what exactly you say. Watch your gestures and facial expressions for a while. Taking a look at yourself from the outside, you will understand what points should be finalized. Improve yourself in front of the mirror until the person you see in it becomes for you the most charismatic and charming person in the world.

Make people feel comfortable around you

The best way to do this is to make it clear to the person you are talking to that they are special and interesting. A charismatic person is one who can easily start a conversation on any topic with everyone and charm with his charm.

1) Feel like your interlocutor. It doesn't matter who you are talking to - or your teenage nephew - always put yourself on a par with the other person. That is, you should not show that you are lower or higher in status. If you divide people by status, rank or any characteristics, then they will do the same with you. And in such conditions, it is unlikely that you will be able to feel freedom in communication.

2) Ask people about their life, but do it sincerely. Don't be too intrusive. You must understand which question is convenient and not to ask a particular person. You will not ask a woman who recently lost her husband how she lives alone? This will just be an awkward question, not a manifestation of interest. To make sure you don't get screwed up, ask people about what they are already telling everyone. For example, for an old woman who talks incessantly about her wonderful grandchildren, your question about where they study and what they can do will only be a joy. And you will get a plus sign for charisma.

3) Apply active listening... When they tell you a story or share their experiences, sometimes nod in agreement, say “you're right,” “of course,” “I understand,” and ask clarifying questions. All this will make the interlocutor understand that you are really interested in listening to him.

4) Address people by name. Firstly, for every person his name is the most pleasant sound combination of all. Secondly, by constantly repeating the name of your new acquaintance, you will not allow his name to be forgotten at the inopportune moment.

5) When complimenting, do it sincerely. A compliment for the sake of a compliment runs the risk of looking like flattery. And no one likes flattery. If you want to please a person, find in him what you really like and voice it. This will make the compliment look natural and not fake. If they say a compliment to you, then you don’t need to look down embarrassedly, or say “oh well, what are you”. Accept compliments with honor and a discreet but open smile.

Show a sense of humor

The ability to make other people laugh or make them smile is a must-have attribute of charisma.

1) Laugh at yourself, but in moderation. A person who knows how to laugh at himself is truly a self-confident person. But do it without fanaticism - there is no need to deliberately talk about your mistakes so that others can laugh with you.

2) Joke carefully. Everyone has a different sense of humor. You must be able to pick up the wave of the interlocutor and tune in to it. The jokes you can tell your old college friend are unlikely to be told to a stern boss. When joking in a large company, you also need to observe certain limits. If the company is "motley" (people are different in age, status, etc.), then it is better to stick to restrained neutral jokes.

3) Don't joke a lot. It is better to joke once a night, but so witty that this joke will then be remembered and quoted, than a mediocre joke every 5 minutes.

Become an interesting person

It is good to be considerate of others. But you need to make sure that they show interest in you.

1) Develop versatile. A charismatic person will always be able to keep up a conversation on any topic. You don't have to be an expert in everything, and it won't work. Read books on various topics, modern periodicals, follow the latest news. And then you can keep up a conversation on the topic of auto mechanics and contemporary artists.

2) Be an addicted person. You must have a hobby - something that you are passionate about, or one or several topics in which you are well versed. And you should be able to talk about your hobby in an interesting and even reckless way. Your passion for anything will make you interesting person for others.

3) If you have nothing to say, keep quiet. Words spoken just for the sake of not being silent will not add to your appeal. Only say what you really want to say to the person here and now.

4) Express your emotions openly. Emotionality can interfere with communication, but it can also help it. If you are an overly excitable person, then you need to control your emotions so as not to put yourself or your interlocutor in an uncomfortable position. But charismatic and unemotional are incompatible things. A charismatic person will openly show what he feels at a particular moment - joy, anger, delight, sadness. But when you do this, you must evaluate the situation in which you are and manage the level of your emotional manifestations.

If you can harmoniously embody all these tips, you will become a truly charismatic person. But remember that charisma is a very subtle thing, and you may not immediately succumb to it. Become an exemplary student for yourself, and gradually learn the correct body language, developing self-confidence, a sense of humor and tact, and develop as a person. And then they will say about you: "He is so charismatic!"

The topic of influencing people is very popular, and everyone brings it up in their own way.

So why are some respected and others not. Why do some people listen and follow them, while others, even if in office, spend a lot of energy on managing people and do not achieve results? Is it congenital? Or can you develop in yourself? I think it can be developed, and in my practice there is such an experience. Let's expand on the big problem: charisma. Into small subtasks.

I dedicate the first article Psychological Strength and Weakness.

What does Psychological Power consist of? How do people around us assess our "weight"?

1. Social status. Creating a picture for others about your roles - with the right words, about achievements and skills. A professional coach can help you.
2. Appearance: power: clothes, dimensions, beauty, associative perception (symbols of power, success). A thoughtful wardrobe, depending on your status and the desired impression on others. Careful elaboration of details: what is accepted in the social circle in which you want to have weight. Observation, coach or stillist to help you. Weakness: inattentive attitude to your wardrobe, slovenliness, inappropriateness of clothes to the status and event.
3. Demeanor: weakness and light psychological weight - fuss, wrong posture. Power- royal posture, sequence of movements, calmness and confidence.

Exercises: royal posture - look in the mirror as you walk. Keep your shoulders straight. The body is calm, without clamps. The spine is straight, forward-looking and confident. The chin is slightly (a few millimeters up). We train to walk straight and confidently. Only the muscles of the eyes and back are tense.

Calm presence.

1. Power- The Master's gaze is direct, open, evaluating and observing. Equal and calm. Weakness - a look from below asking and apologizing or from above - repels the aggressor.
2. Voice. Power- tone is firm, calm. Weakness - high and nervous notes. The voice is practiced with special exercises. Voice training - read poems to the camera in different intonations, conduct analysis. More effective with a professional or public speaking training.
3. Speech Mastery: Power - creativity (developing, reading a lot, listening to the Leaders speak), energy - a well-established daily routine, nutrition, auto-training.
4. Gestures. Power: free and firm control of the body, appropriate open gestures. Weakness: tight body, poor gestures.

Your actions give rise to habits, habits form character traits, Character traits are assembled into Character, and Character already forms Life, determines "Destiny". That is, they started with your actions?

Exactly!! From the daily, the everyday ... the usual.

Today about actions in the formation of vigor and energy of a Charismatic person. Two practical tricks: Good morning and Useful evening.

• Good morning:

Target: to establish a cheerful start to the day and the right charge for the day.

Meaning: Coaches will and responsibility. Adds health. Fills with energy.

Keep a diary where you will mark the execution with checkmarks:

1. I woke up and got up immediately by the alarm clock at 6-8 in the morning (not later!),
2. Smiled, said Good Morning to the world,
3. Walking briskly to the bathroom, washing cold water or a shower, a kind and positive greeting to loved ones.
4. Charging 5-10 minutes,
5. Healthy breakfast,
6. Plan for the day in all areas (family, work, me).

• Useful evening:

Target: to establish the foundation of a healthy lifestyle.

Meaning: correct work the body with a healthy sleep, good relationships at home, the inner good state of a happy person, willpower training.

We also mark in the Diary:

1. Shower after work.
2. Healthy dinner with loved ones until 20-00. Love is a verb.
3. Chatting or walking with your family.
4. Thanks to loved ones and the world for what happened during the day. Working out the experience in the head. Preliminary plan for tomorrow.
5. Sleep from 22-23: 00. Well as a last resort today!

And it won't last long without the Foundation of your Charisma !! No matter how purposeful you are and no matter what other skills you have developed.

We build the foundation, then we begin to erect the walls, and then decorate!

Many people really find it difficult to organize and control themselves on the way to change. If you need a "Magic Kick", choose a specialist you like in your city.

We begin to build walls.

Psychologists agree that we evaluate a person for the first few seconds, at an unconscious level. And then this assessment is very difficult to change.

What are we evaluating the first few seconds?

1. Body.

• Gait. How do you walk: mince with small steps or with huge steps? Are you walking with a firm gait, or is your whole body shaking? It is necessary to work with this.

The exercise: a week, 5 times a day, on the street, follow the person in front at a safe distance and copy his walk for 5 minutes. Follow the week !! Draw conclusions.

• Posture. Posture reveals whether you are a confident person.

Train your back straight! Royal posture.

The exercise:

"Royal posture is where royalty begins - with a straight back. Unbend! Go to the wall, lean your back, repeat its plane with your back, and then, keeping your back, move away. When you manage to breathe in this state and be not even tense - that's what you need. So, the back is straight, the shoulders are straight: extended and relaxed.

At work, when you feel that you are too late, do a simple exercise: bring your shoulders forward, lift up, bring them back as far as possible and then relax ... In two weeks it will become a habit of sitting upright, without sliding off the chair, and the back will feel comfortable without any additional exercise.

Fine! In the meantime, we are sharpening the details. The royal posture is held by three vectors of strength. The first vector gives solidity, the second - lightness, the third - energy.

The vector of solidity goes down from your belt: imagine that your feet are stepping firmly on the ground, which simultaneously attracts and holds you. You and the earth are one whole, the vector pulls you to the earth and creates a foundation for you. You are firmly on the ground, your stance and gait are solid.

That, however, should not interfere with the general feeling of cheerfulness and energy. Imagine that there are springs in your feet, and you really want to jump! Actually, the boxers in the ring move like that: they themselves jump, and you can't knock them down.

The second vector of force goes straight up from the crown: as soon as you feel this (and this is easy), lightness is added to your gait. Walk with a high neck, as if your eyes were coming from the second floor level. Nod several times as if condescending to the highest approval. Note - with such a nod, the chin goes towards you, not away from you. The chicken head jerk from bottom to front has now been replaced with a gentle royal nod from top to bottom. So, your entire upper body, and specifically your head, is held by a force vector directed upward. Higher, higher!

Finally, start from the solar plexus (touch it) the third vector, the vector of energy, directed forward and upward. Forward and upward! How do you do it - in the legs the emphasis will move to the socks, inside there will be a feeling of readiness to jump, and the people next to you will begin to say: "An energetic person!"

It’s very nice that the likes of simple things you can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself.

Any new skill needs training, and when you have set yourself a royal posture, you need to train it, accustom yourself to it. If you ask someone from your relatives or friends to follow you, your posture, it will be useful for you and your friends: pay attention, their posture will soon get better as well. It’s very good to go to the children's goods store and buy yourself a crown there, and it’s better to be heavier. Placing it on your head, you will feel a sharp and unexpected effect: the back will immediately straighten, the neck will acquire a pivot, and the movements will become smooth. At least so that the crown does not slip on the ears.In pharmacies, a posture corrector is sold: a cross between a bra and a collar, worn on the shoulders, can be worn under clothes.

More good recipe: put a medium-weight book on your head, put cups of water on your palm (you can hold it with your fingers) and spread your arms slightly to the sides. You will very much resemble an exquisite floor lamp, but not for long, because the load is serious. What, in fact, attracts many: not for long, but the result is felt immediately. Try it - you will feel how exactly the muscles that are needed are turned on.Good luck, Your Majesty! " The author of this exercise N.I. Kozlov.

• Facial expression. This point is both simple and very difficult. A person has 132 facial muscles on his face, and it is almost impossible to consciously control them in full. But, having created "correct images" by thinking, the face will draw with muscles what is necessary.

1. Self-esteem. Confidence in their powers. Believe in yourself. Mastery in your business. If self-esteem is low, work with a psychologist is necessary.
2. Attitude to the interlocutor or to a group of people. As my colleague says: "Find a bend on the body or soul of the interlocutor and fall in love" - ​​a sincerely good attitude, on an equal footing: You are a good person (group) - I'm a good person! - immediately drawn by the muscles of the face.

The exercise: practice in the interlocutor to determine in advance in your head the pros. For example, your thoughts - "What a nasty cleaning lady we have in the office" - and she answers you in kind. So start with her "a hard-working woman, golden hands, an ideal office after her" - for example, such thoughts, or find what you like. Think like that for a week when you see her. Track the result.

And then the person opens his mouth and we evaluate Voice.

Let's expand this item into Tasks:

• the voice is low or loud, whether you can hear it well. Learning to change the volume.

The exercise:

1. Watch a video of a man considered by many to be bright and charismatic.
2. Write down short video as you usually say, appreciate the merits and demerits.
3. Practice changing the volume of your voice while reading the piece. Ask loved ones to rate how you coped with this assignment. Continue to focus on this in your daily life.

• Harshness, trembling. If the hoarseness makes you brutal - great, but if it interferes, you can work out with a teacher on stage speech.
• Sluggish, not intelligible diction, like porridge in the mouth.

The exercise:

Find on the Internet or a book with tongue twisters. For 15 minutes a day, practice to pronounce each letter clearly for a month. Pass the "exam" to relatives or friends who can objectively evaluate.

• Overlaying emotions on the voice (excitement). You are worried, and the voice immediately betrays it. What to do? As they say - "work hours" of communication with people. Try to communicate more with people: in a cafe, store, on the street, at work with those whose opinion is not critical to you. Gradually the voice will become more confident. Experience is really needed here.
• Intonation or monotony. When a person speaks monotonously, one does not want to listen to him and is not interesting; rather, such a person will be able to immerse himself in a trance remarkably.

The brighter the intonation, the more interesting it is to listen to.

The exercise: watch the video with Mironov's speech, rate. Now to the mirror, read poetry. Remember as a child. With the expression and emphasis in the voice of important shades and nuances. Adding clear emotions and emotions of tender, bright and exciting. Turn your head gradually to the sides, with a small amplitude - this helps the sound of the voice to change.

Of course, I really believe in people! But, practice shows that such trainings pass better and give greater results when training in a group or individually with a trainer.

I think that there were, of course, several people who have just started trying and training right now. In a few days, some of them will already stop doing this ... Units with a strong will and a wild desire for success will go this way to the end! If you are not one of them, there is no need to spread rot on yourself. You are just a person who needs help. Don't turn development into a struggle with yourself, the struggle is not productive! You have been developing your skills over the years, and, of course, it is difficult to change them immediately and easily. Supervised and assisted by a professional - this usually works better.

Man is capable of much! Almost everything.

Develop yourself with pleasure.

To be continued…