There are two ways of professional pedagogical hearing: non-reflective and reflexive . They are used in various types of hearing, that is, they are as if within each type of hearing. Each method has its own techniques.

Nonflexive hearing - This is a hearing without analysis (reflection), which gives the apprentice to speak. It consists in the skill of the teacher carefully silent. Both words are important here. Silence - as the student wants to be heard, and the least interests our comments; Carefully - otherwise it will be offended and communication will interrupt or turn into a conflict.

Non-inflammable hearing can be carried out by reception. minimizing responses (non-interference) and attentive silence . Neutral, essentially unfriendly phrases like "Yes!", "Is it like that?", "I understand you ...", "This is interesting. Continue "are those" minimum "and the simplest answers that help express approval, interest and understanding.

In cases where the listeners do not interrupt the speech of the speaking phrases, his silence must be meaningful (silence of understanding, attentive silence), otherwise it can be interpreted as inattention and indifference listening to the interlocutor. Appropriate non-verbal behavior or metacomynical signals for maintaining speech contact will kill the speaker that his speech is listening carefully, his problems are trying to understand.

When the nonsense is not enough, you should go to other techniques of understanding hearing.

The essence of the reflexive hearing is active interference in speaking speaking. It helps to ensure the correct and accurate understanding of the interlocutors of each other.

There are three main techniques for reflective hearing: clarification, rephrase, reflection of feelings (empathy).

Clarification - This is an appeal to the disciple for clarifications to get additional facts or clarify the meaning of individual statements.

The second type of reflexive response - perephrasing . Rephrase - it means to formulate the thought otherwise, in another form. Perephrasing can be started with the following words: "In other words, you think ...", "otherwise to say ..." and others. Praphrasing the answers of the guys, the teacher highlights the main thing that is deliberately dissected phrases, then the sound forstairs, then a melodramatic whisper, then the expression of concern , then a disarming smile. Perceived emotionally remembered.

A variation of rephrase is summising . The teacher summarizes the said, summarizes the heard.

Summary is particularly appropriate in situations arising from discussing various disagreements, resolving conflicts or in situations where some problems need to be solved. It is also useful when conducting discussions, during which a long-term discussion of some question may be overly complicated or even go to a dead end.

Reflection of feelings. Here the emphasis is not made on the content of the message, as when clarifying, rephrase and summarizing, but on the emotional state of the student. Of course, the difference between the feelings and content of the message in a certain sense relatively and it is not always easy to catch. However, this difference is often crucial.

You can understand the feelings of the student in various ways:

You should pay attention to the words used by him, reflecting feelings: "unpleasant", "cunning", "killer", "unexpected", etc.;

Much can be understood by the expression of the face, gestures, the intonation of the student. For example, if he subconsciously made a "erasing" movement of his palm on his forehead, hence, he is something upset and wants to move unpleasant thoughts;

It is necessary to imagine as much as possible that you yourself would feel on the site of speaking in such a situation.

The use of reflexive and non-inflexive ways of hearing in everyday life is valuable and in itself. But they are only a means to achieve the main goal of communication - an understanding of the student.

What is an empathic hearing?

The highest level of development of the ability to listen - empathic hearing . Empathy - This is an empathy to another person. Apparently, the exact translation of the word will be "acquiring" - the ability to feel the same as the student, to understand him not "mind", but "heart." Such a "educational" in the problem of the student opens the doors for a frank conversation, shows how deeply we understand it gives confidence that you can reveal the thinnest movements of your soul.

Empathic hearing - rather not an independent reception, and the goal to which the legitimate crown of an understanding hearing is needed. Its essence is not in mastering some technical rule or even a multitude of rules, but in the inner desire (installation) as much as possible and fully understand the student. Empathic response is not a sophisticated technical trick, but the result of the ability to empathy, the "feeling" of another person.

The ability to "read" the fault, gestures, poses, views, handshakes, gait of the interlocutor can have great help in teaching an empathic understanding.

We will remember the statement of the American psychologist Karla Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology: "When I deeply understand me and share my feelings, without showing the desire to analyze my behavior or judge me, it creates conditions for self-expression and formation as a person." These words can be a motto of understanding hearing.

Ticket 8.

Rules of hearing, conducting conversations

Plugs, abilities, gifts, talent, genius: characteristics

Pedagogical task

Rules of hearing, talking conversation.

From early childhood, the skills of the hearing are formed. One child can listen for a long time when he is told or read fairy tales, and another is difficult to sit for five minutes. Of course, it depends on the type of child's nervous system, the degree of activity, etc. However, to listen to the ability to listen to the child from infancy. The ability to listen is important in everyday life. It is one of the criteria of human society. In the course of special research it was established that on average, a person spends 29.5% of the time at the hearing, 21.5% - for speaking, 10% - on the letter.

Hearing - The process of directional perception of auditory and visual incentives and attribute importance to them. The process of the active hearing involves concentration, understanding, memory, evaluation and response.

Concentration - This is a perceptual process of choice and concentration of attention on specific incentives from the whole set of achieving our senses, the allocation of the main "figure of the background".

Understanding - This is an accurate decoding of the incoming information by assigning it a correct value, that is, to understand it in some conceptual categories. Everyone hears what he understands.

Memory - This is the ability to save information and reproduce it when necessary. Memorization plays an important role to preserve the content heard. To improve the memorization process, it is important to use such equipment such as repetition, mnemonic techniques, notes.

· Increase attention efficiency:

prepared to listen;

completely switching from the role of the speaker talking;

healing to the end before answering;

adjusting our attention to the goals of the hearing in a specific situation.

Analysis or critical hearing - This is the process of determining how truthful and reliable is the heard information.

You are listening critically when:

· You wonder whether the conclusion is supported by weighty facts;

· Is the relationship between conclusions and evidence and evidence;

· There is no information known to you, which would reduce the logical of the conclusion.

· Response involves an adequate response of listening at verbal and non-verbal levels.

Most people are characterized by the following main disadvantages of the traditional hearing:

· Thoughtless perception when it is a background of activities;

· Scroll perception when only individual parts of the sounding speech are interpreted;

· Inability to analyze the content of the message, establish a link between it and the facts of reality.

The effectiveness of the hearing process depends on the following factors:

Objective factors:

· Noise and interference;

· Acoustic characteristics of the room;

· Microclimate indoors (temperature, humidity, etc.).

Subjective factors:

· The floor of the listener (it is believed that men are more attentive listeners);

· Temperament of a person (emotional-resistant people - Sanguinics, phlegmatic - more attentive than choleric and melancholic);

· Intellectual abilities.

Effective hearing involves the presence of four main mental abilities in humans:

· Hearing capacity;

· Attentiveness;

· Ability to understand;

· Memorial ability.

Ø Therefore, the development of listening skills should be based on the development of listed abilities.

Types of hearing:

Depending on our interlocutor and from the information that we receive from it, we apply various types of hearing:

· Active,

· Passive,

· Empathic hearing.

Active hearing - ensures interested attitude towards the interlocutor, clarifying questions by type: "Do I understand you correctly that ...?" (with a question mark at the end of the phrase), adequate feedback. (Active hearing is applied when exchanging information, business negotiations, receipt of instructions, etc.)

Passive hearing - It imposes an emotional intuition in communication, clarifying issues (so that negative emotions be reacted), "UGU-reaction" (minimum verbal reactions), awareness of their own "I-listens" (its thoughts, experiences).

Empathic hearing - For the separation of emotional experiences of the interlocutor, which suggests:

· Set to the hearing;

· Creating a trust atmosphere;

· Reflection of experiences, feelings behind the statements of the interlocutor;

· Strengthening a pause needed by a person in order for him to figure out his experiences.

· When we show empathy, we are trying to understand or experience what the other person understands or is experiencing.

There are three options for empathy:

· empathic reaction

Empathic response - This is an experience of an emotional reaction similar to the actual or expected manifestations of the emotions of another person.

· perspective adoption

Perspective acceptance - Representing yourself in place of another - the most common form of empathy.

· sympathetic reaction

Sympathetic response - The feeling of care, comparison, compassion directed to another person because of his situation.

To effectively exercise empathy to the interlocutor, it is necessary:

· Peel into respect for a person, focusing on what he says.

· Concentrate on understanding verbal and non-verbal signals.

· Use to clarify the emotional state of the person behavioral signals.

· Try to experience the same feelings along with a person; Or imagine that you would feel in similar circumstances, or experience the feelings of care, compassion regarding this person.

· Refill according to your feelings.

The ability to listen is the most important condition for not only productive communication, but also the learning process. For mastering knowledge, you need to have the skills of listening to public speeches. When listening to the speech, it is necessary to more clearly determine for yourself the goal with which you will listen. Next, it is necessary to organize your work in the process of the hearing in accordance with the principles of its effectiveness.

The principles of an effective hearing are based on readiness and desire to listen. The attitude of the listener can affect his knowledge and experience on the issue under discussion.

As auxiliary tools that improve the skills of the listening can be called the following:

· Ability to concentrate;

· Ability to analyze the content;

· The ability to listen critically;

· Ability to outline.

Consider the listed skills.

1. Ability to concentrate.

The ability to concentrate is the basic condition of an effective hearing. It implies a serious attitude to the hearing, the desire to work on improving skills and constant attention to the speaker. Concentration is not a passive, but an active creative process that requires great effort. Concentrating, man prepares herself to hearing. If you spend your time, thinking about a friend, dreaming or solving personal problems, concentration becomes impossible. An irregular hearing prevents understanding the idea of \u200b\u200bspeech. We must try to ignore distracting factors.

2. Ability to analyze content.

Knowledge of the process of creating and compositioning speech can help with the development of listening skills. From the very beginning it is important to determine the purpose of the speaker's speech, allocate the main topic, concepts. It should be noted, as evidence is given, form of illustration: examples, analogy, statistics, citation, etc. It is useful to fix how the speaker conclude will summarize his ideas and binds them with the main topic.

3. The ability to listen critically.

The critical hearing involves the binding of what speaks speaking, with its own experience, alignment and systematization of heard, analysis and evaluation. Analyzing the ideas of the speaker, it is necessary to return to the starting point of the speech, check the adequacy of evidence, the weight of the argument.

4. Ability to outline.

If you listen to a learning lecture in order to obtain facts, for analyzing and evaluating content, then you need to record. The record helps to concentrate when listening, gives material for the review and the possibility of returning to the heard. The development of outlining skills contributes to the observance of the principles of rationality. The basic rule that is recommended to be observed when noting is as follows: it is more important to understand the logic of the presentation as a whole than to write off the incomplete, fragmentary fragments. The abstract of oral presentation (lectures) must be an expanded plan reflecting its structure and basic provisions containing specific examples and quotes.

When noting an oral presentation, it is recommended to adhere to the following general principles:

· Use the informal recording system, the more simple, the better, the simplified form of text structure, which includes short paragraphs, offers, part of proposals, separate words. Records must be clear for you.

· Do short records. Record only outstanding moments and actual material. Let's notice how the speaker makes the transitions, as repeats its ideas, summarizes.

· Use abbreviations and symbols. Stenography helps well and speed. If you do not own them, develop your system. Use characters for parts of the sentence, letters - to reduce words. Try to bring the time to a minimum record.

· Do broken records. Make sure they are understandable to you. Then, if you later want to read them, you can decipher them, writing in detail.

· Marked important ideas. Emphasize or label important thoughts. When viewing records, such marks will help to quickly refresh the content of the written, find the right places, etc.

· Periodically browse the records.

v In general, to learn to listen effectively, it is necessary to note that it is useful that you can learn when listening to the oral speech, and also to have a desire to listen, that is, to configure yourself to perceive information. Listen to interest - this will help create an atmosphere of mutual sympathy and respect between you and the interlocutor.

Conversation.

Conversation - Method of interpersonal communication. This is a guide by participants, informal, unprepared interaction, consistent interchange with thoughts, feelings of two or more people.

This definition allocates multiple key features:

· The conversation is sent to the participants who themselves determine who will speak, what theme, order and duration of the speeches are.

· The conversation involves the interaction, therefore, at least two people say and listen.

· The conversation implies impromptu, that is, the participants did not learn from being taken out what they would talk about.

· The conversation is organized in time and has the beginning, middle and end.

Allocate two types of conversations:

· Related conversations, in which topics are discussed spontaneously;

· Business discussion of problems characterized by participants consent to discuss and solve specific problems or plan possible areas of action.

Business conversation can be:

· Standardized (exactly formulated questions are asked to all interviewed).

· Non-standardized (questions are defined in free form).

Options for the development of dialogue in conversation:

· distribution one participant to others in order to obtain information;

· Message defined information another partner;

· Attentive hearing Partner.

The technique of questioning in conversation:

talk partner, configure it on the topic and problem of conversation;

stimulate the beginning of the statement of a partner;

stimulate the expression of the statement;

claim and evaluate entering information.

Technique informing in conversation:

form installation for perception;

intrigue (theme, novelty, position);

consistently set out the essence of information.

Technique hearing in conversation:

1st type. Hearing as an understanding of the meaning:

· Mobilization of attention;

· Refinement of content;

· Pereprasing.

2nd type. Hearing technique as emphasis:

· Understand the emotional state;

· Peter the reasons that caused this condition;

· To put yourself in the partner;

· Assess the situation from the partner's position.

When analyzing the conversation, pay attention to:

· Emotional impression of the conversation;

· Takes to promote the interlocutor used in the conversation process;

· Features of the behavior of the interlocutor: Mimic, gestures, speech intonation, reservations, etc.;

· Questions to which the interlocutor answered most actively;

· The nature of the end of the conversation;

· Objectives solved as a result of the conversation.

Four features of the rules of conversations form the behavior of participants: Rules leave the ability to choose, prescribe, result from context and determine relevant behavior. Effective conversations rely on the principle of cooperation, which suggests that the conversation is effective when participants are combined together to achieve the goals of the conversation and concern for each of them. The principle of cooperation, in turn, is characterized by six rules: quantity, quality, relevance, good manners, morality and politeness. A person who can lead a conversation demonstrates the skills to provide reliable information, supports the balance between the time of the conversation and the hearing (following the order in conversation), supports the sequence of a conversation, demonstrates politeness and does not violate the ethical norms.

The success of the business conversation depends:

· On the degree of its preparedness (the purpose, the plan of the conversation, the accounting of age and individual characteristics and conditions);

· From the sincerity of the answers given (the presence of confidence, tact, the correctness of the formulation of issues).

v During the business conversation, when a dialogue is underway between partners, it is necessary to remember the dual character of the communication process (exchange of information, that is, its departure and receipt). It needs to be involved in cooperative, carefully listening to a partner, analyzing and comparing his words with its own experience.

v One of the objectives of communication is to learn as much as possible about his interlocutor: to understand his psychology and the course of thought, to evaluate his business opportunities, to penetrate into the subtext. You can achieve this goal, only being attentive and active listener.

The skills of such a hearing can be developed, following the following rules for an effective hearing:

· Tune in to the topic of conversation, feel internal interest.

· Sit more comfortable, but do not relax, as the relaxation negatively acts on the brain, interferes with listen carefully, the correct posture helps to focus.

· During the conversation, do not look at foreign items - it distracts, it is nervous to the interlocutor. It was noted that women more men are subject to feedback, so, listening to a woman, look into her eyes more often.

· Listen with interest - it will help create an atmosphere of mutual sympathy and respect between you and the interlocutor.

· Do not interrupt a partner in a conversation, let him express his thought to the end.

· Listening, allocate the main thoughts of the speaker and try to understand them correctly.

· Quickly compare the information received with your own and immediately mentally return to the main conversation content.

· During the pause in conversation, try two or three times to mentally summarized.

· In the course of the conversation, try to predict what will be told on. This is a good method of memorizing the main provisions of the conversation.

· Do not hurry with an assessment of the results of the conversation. Listen.

The concept of hearing in communication

For successful interaction, it is necessary not only to master speech activities, but also be able to listen.

Hearing and speaking are two significant skills of the competence of verbal communication.

Definition 1.

The hearing is the process of concentrated perception of visual and auditory stimuli, attributing meaning. The active hearing implies concentration, understanding, memorization, evaluation and response.

Concentration - This is the process of perception of choice and focusing on certain incentives from all the huge number of people reaches our senses.

Understanding - This is a clear decoding of information that comes from the outside by assigning it a faithful value, that is, understanding it in some conceptual categories.

Analysis or critical hearing - This is the process of establishing how true and truthful is the information that was heard.

The response implies the corresponding reaction of the listening on the non-verbal and verbal levels of communication.

The response to the empathy level gives people information about them themselves, their behavior, approves, supports, soothes.

If the hearing is a physical process, which is determined by the action of sound waves on the eardrum, and passing without special mental efforts, the hearing (the hearing is effective) is a difficult process of perception, understanding, understanding, structuring and memorizing the incoming information in which the whole person takes part man.

Note 1.

The hearing is considered a fundamental skill affecting the quality of relationships in daily communication, effective understanding and interaction. At the same time, many people actually do not know how to listen.

The ability to listen to people formed unequal. Studies in this area demonstrate that at the average time of our communication with others is distributed as follows: about 42-53% of the time we listen to other people, 16-32% - we speak, 15-17% - we receive information reading, 9-14% - We write. As you can see from the above figures, the ability to listen to how the method of perception of information is applied in communication much more often than the ability to write and read, taken together, it means that there is a mastering such skill for each person.

Note 2.

Most people estimate their ability to listen by 70-80%. Nevertheless, research demonstrate that in fact the performance of the hearing in many people is only 25%, that is, three quarters of the messages that were heard are lost.

The following types of hearings can be distinguished: passive hearing, active hearing, an empathic hearing, a critical hearing.

Active listening

Definition 2.

The active hearing is the process, during which the listening is not just perceives information from the interlocutor, but also actively represents the understanding of this information.

Active hearing can help:

• to send a conversation to the necessary channel;
• choose questions that will be able to get the necessary answers;
• unmistakably and correctly understand the interlocutor.

Since the tools and elements of the active hearing contain various methods and principles, special performance can be achieved by applying methods and the principles of the active hearing immediately.

The main techniques of the active hearing are combined to the following items:

• clarification;
• retelling (paraprase);
• repetition (echo);
• pause.

Clarification is translated to the fact that you ask a person a question if something is small to you. In other way it can still be called clarification.

Retelling makes it possible to someone who tells, to hear from their own speech by the mouth of another person.

Repeating phrases of the interlocutor also makes it possible to build a good conversation. In this case, the listener, as an echo, repeats with the intonation of the issue of the end of the proposals of the narrator. This has an effect similar to clarification.

Pauses are also considered tools that are capable of favorably affect the conversation.

In general, the active hearing makes it possible to configure contact with the interlocutor and get the necessary information from it.

Passive hearing

Passive hearing is considered more global and different on other grounds. The presented view of the hearing is still called otherwise - a non-reflective hearing.

The method of empathic hearing makes it possible to man in a natural way to show emotions, reveal to a psychologist or an ordinary interlocutor. As a rule, three stages are allocated in an empathic hearing:

• support - it is possible to speak out, show your own reaction;
• calculation - it is of great importance to make sure that you correctly understood the words and emotions of the interlocutor;

Communication skills play an important role in human social life. They allow not only to exchange information, but also analyze it, memorize, give a subjective or objective assessment.

The active hearing method is one of the complex communication skills that makes it possible to make a sense perception of the said interlocutor.

The active hearing implies the interaction of all participants in the conversation, that is, not only the speaker, but also listening. This technique allows not only to fully absorb the information received, but also prevents the incorrect interpretation of the said and error during the conversation. With the help of an active hearing, you can send a conversation in the necessary channel and develop it.

Technique of active listening

The main goal of the active hearing is always the opportunity to get as much comprehensive information as possible. This allows interlocutors to resolve conflict or prevent it prematurely, to bring order in relationships. The active listening contributes to the establishment of deeper contacts between family or team members.

A truly productive conversation requires not only the ability to express their thoughts, but also the skills of hearing. If a person is really interested in the process of conversation and its effectiveness, he tries to listen as closely as possible to get all the necessary information.

At the same time, as a rule, visual contact is established. This is called the ability to listen to the "all body." It is an expression of the interest of the interlocutor in a conversation, because at the same time he tries to observe exclusively for the speaker, turns all the body to him, focuses on his face.

In the case when the active hearing is necessary to establish the relationship between spouses, or between children and parents, the definitive adoption factor is important. Unconditional adoption is a demonstration to the interlocutor of what it exists for you as an individuality and has its important significance.

The technique of active hearing is expressed in the ability to achieve the state of unconditional adoption, which becomes possible through some psychological maneuvers. For example, it is necessary to ask the subject clarifying or questions you are interested in, which will emphasize your interest in his personal opinion. Among other things, it will make it possible to adjust the conversation, since the speaker will understand what exactly you are interested in and why.

However, it is important not only the clarifying question or its intonation, but also the response of the listener to the answer. In psychology, for example, the "Echo" method is fairly common. He lies in the fact that, after hearing the speaker's speech or his answer to the question, listening repeats a few words of the interlocutor, who reflect the essence of the said.

This method not only emphasizes attention to the speaker, but also allows you to clarify whether you caught the basic meaning of the information provided. In other words, the essence of the methodology is to clarify the information by rephlazing the said. At the same time, you should not try to finish the phrase instead of your interlocutor, even if you are quite sure that you fully understand the course of his thoughts.

In addition, the use of the active hearing method requires the ability to take part in the interlocutor, empathy. Also important is the ability to ask clarifying issues directly related to the topic of conversation, since an attempt to clarify something incomprehensible in a conversation will not only allow you to feel more comfortable and confident in conversation, but also will give the interlocutor confidence that he is listening carefully.

Active hearing techniques

The active hearing is often called thoughtful. To date, this is the most effective method of assimilating the information received not only in psychotherapy, but also in everyday life.

Experts allocate the following techniques of active hearing: pause, clarification, retelling and development of thought.

Staging a commander is an additional opportunity for reflection. Thus, the source appears for a while in order to comprehend the said, think about it, perhaps even add something. The likelihood is high, that after the statement of your thoughts and views, the speaker will already feel some power of attorney to the interlocutor and will decide to say what he used to say before.

Reception is a peculiar "mirror" for the speaker. When you briefly repeat all the main ones, he can not only analyze what you understood his words, to correct you, emphasize the importance of one or another moment. At the same time, he seems to hear his own words from the part and can conclude how he should adjust his speech so that it is more understandable for the listener.

An attempt to develop the basic thought of the conversation is useful if the speaker is somewhat difficult to express their thoughts or to cover the problem under discussion as a whole. The nomination of various assumptions that lead questions, clarifications - all this can help him formulate the main idea.

Examples of active hearing

Is the active hearing really a useful skill in everyday life for every person? Of course, it depends on his social interests and positions. However, various examples of applying an active hearing can be brought.

The active listening is widely applicable for educational purposes. We are talking about the immediate ability to communicate with the child, the establishment of confidence relations, which will make it easier to influence the baby, solve various conflict situations. The feature of the active hearing of the child is that children are much more demanding in terms of attention.

You can not talk with a child from another room, turning away from him and doing any other matters. At the same time, the conversation should be guided so as to minimize the discomfort of the baby: your eyes should be on the same level, for which you can either sit opposite the child or take it on your knees.

In addition to the fact that this method is irreplaceable in family life, as they will allow to establish relations not only with the child, but also between adults, it is also useful in other social spheres. For example, sales professionals are perfectly familiar with the active hearing. Moreover, it is just an indispensable skill for any seller-consultant or manager.

With the help of an active hearing, you can not only "talk" the client, but also find out what exactly it interests and how it can be attracted to the purchase. It is possible to achieve this only when the seller Il-manager well understands what is interested in the buyer. And for this you need to be able to ask the right questions.

Active listening

What distinguishes a person from the animal? Active and diverse speech. The man created a language to express his thoughts, desires and feelings around him. At the same time, an active hearing becomes important. There are certain techniques and techniques of the active hearing, methods. In the examples, we consider how it manifests itself, and we will show on the exercises how to develop it.

People rarely hear each other. Unfortunately, the inability to listen to the interlocutor leads to the fact that people do not understand each other, do not find solutions of problem situations, diverge and remain at their resentment. That is why an important hearing is becoming important when a person understands what the interlocutor says.

You need to be able to not only speak, but also listen. People who know how to hear what they say are coming to success. As they say, "Silence is gold." But if at the same time a person is included in the understanding of the words of the interlocutor, then his silence turns into an invaluable jewel.

What is an active hearing?

Speaking about the active listening, it is difficult to convey all his meaning. What it is? An active listening is called the perception of someone else's speech at which there is a direct and indirect interaction between the participants of the process. A person seems to be included in the process of the conversation, he hears and realizes the meaning of the words of the speaker, perceives his speech.

People in contact with each other through communication. Speech is one of the ways to build relationships and connections. The active hearing is the method of successfully establishing contacts between people who are interested in this. The result of its use can please and surprise many people.

The culture of modern communication is quite low. People say a lot, often not listening to their interlocutors. When silence arises, most often people are shipped to their own thoughts. And when there is a conversation, people are trying to interpret it in their own way. All this leads to misunderstanding and improper decision-making on the basis.

The development of an active hearing eliminates all problems in communication. The establishment of benevolent contacts is the initial advantage of this reception.

Acceptance of an effective hearing

1. Reception "Gleaders". Listening, the best thing to watch the interlocutor is directly in the eye. You immediately show how attentive you are. It is always helpful to see the eyes of the interlocutor, because on them we can determine how he reacts to our speech. Of course, it does not follow from this that you need to look at the interlocutor at unrequisite, in the emphasis. Just sitting from time to time to his eyes, thereby keeping visual contact with him.

2. Reception "Notes on Cuffs." The ability to memorize is one of the most remarkable properties of a person. Making notes, memos, we provide a good service. In some situations it is necessary to first ask for permission to write something, but rarely who refuses such a request.

3. Reception "Good End". If the ideas discussed are enthusiasm in us or we have something to say on the issue under discussion, we are often aware of the desire to help the speaker and we literally try to finish the proposal. Most often, these efforts will cause confusion or confusion from your interlocutor, so it is always better to give a person the opportunity to present his thought to the end, even in situations of friendly or informal communication.

4. Reception "Positive Answer". One of the main elements of active perception is the ability to give the interlocutor to understand that we listen carefully, with any reaction to his words. Sometimes quite simple "yes-yes", "understand" or the noddle of the nod. The significance of feedback can be illustrated by the following example. Perhaps talking on the phone and do not hear for a long time of the reverse reaction of the interlocutor to your words, you had to ask a person at the other end of the wire: "Are you here? Can you hear me?". By the way, both are blamed in such an awkward situation. One - because it does not involve the interlocutor in the conversation, the other - because it is not clear enough to react to pronounced words. With direct communication, it is necessary to react to the words of the interlocutor and gestures, and pose.

5. Reception "Peace Tube". We all say in different ways: we can have different accents, our constructions of phrases, individual tempo speech, thinking, voice timbre, etc. Side aspects of the conversation can affect your attention and interfere with understanding the meaning of the conversation. Strive to identify and control your prejudices, listening carefully to what we are trying to say.

6. Reception "I want to know everything." If you do not understand something, ask. We all are sure that we often say: "Yes, I understood (a)," although I really can't try, what we are told about. Have courage to confess if you do not understand what they are talking about. By this you tower your interlocutor, and the truthful recognition subsequently brings considerable dividends.

7. Reception "to get to the bottom." Very often in conversation, we fall out a lot of questions, only superficially affecting a number of topics. Where better to ask a few questions on one problem. Continuing to ask open questions on the same topic, you can get a lot of interesting information.

26. Listening in business communication. Rules of an effective hearing.

Effective Hearing Rules:

1. To be attentive

2. Do not be aggressive

3. Overcome passivity

27.Cheel and argument tactics

Argument is a way of believing anyone through significant logical arguments.

Video removed.

In arguments, as a rule, allocate two basic designs :
1. The evidence argument with which the manager wants to prove something in a conversation with subordinates or justify;
2. Contrapring, with which the head refutes the theses and the approval of the interlocutor.

1. Fundamental method It is a direct appeal to the interlocutor, whom we introduce the facts and information that are the basis of our evidence-based argument. An important role here is played by digital examples that are beautiful background. Unlike verbal information, the numbers look more convincing. This happens to a certain extent also because at the moment none of those present is able to refute them.
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2. Contradiction method It is based on the detection of contradictions of the partner's argument. In essence, this method is defensive.

3. Method of removal of conclusions Based on accurate argument, which gradually, step by step, by means of partial conclusions will lead us to the desired result.

4. Comparison method It has exceptional importance, especially when the comparisons are wicked successfully, which gives the speech to exceptional brightness and great power of suggestion.

5. The method "Yes. but". It often happens that the interlocutor cites well-built arguments, but they cover or only advantages, or only weaknesses of the proposed alternative. However, since it really rarely happens so that everyone speaks only "for" or "against", it is easy to apply the method "Yes. But ", which allows us to consider other parties to the solution. We can quietly agree with the interlocutor, and then the so-called "but" comes.

6. Method "Boomeranga" It makes it possible to use the "weapon" of the interlocutor against him. This method does not have the force of evidence, but has an exceptional effect if it is used with a fair fraction of wit. For example, Demosphen, the famous State-Athenian figure and speaker, and Athenian commander Fokion was sworn political enemies. Once, Demosphen told Fokione: "If the Athenians are angry, they will hang you out." What Fokion replied: "And of course you, of course, as soon as it is formed."

7. Ignoring method. It often happens that the fact set forth by the interlocutor cannot be refuted, but its value and significance can be successfully ignored.

8. Method of visible support. It is very effective both with respect to one interlocutor and for several listeners. Its essence lies in the fact that after the argument of the interlocutor, we do not object to him at all and do not contradict, but, on the contrary, we come to the rescue, leading new evidence in favor of its arguments. Lesse follows Conrtudar, for example: "You forgot to confirm your thesis to bring more facts. (List them). But it will not help you, because. "," Now there comes a turn of our counter-arguments. Thus, it seems that the point of view of the interlocutor we studied more thoroughly than he himself, and after that they were convinced of the insolvency of his thesis. It should be added that the use of this method requires particularly thorough preparation.

1. Selection of argument techniques. Depending on the characteristics of partners, various argument methods are selected.

"Yeah" - giveaway. This is the easiest admission of the active hearing. Any person enjoys almost intuitive. During the conversation it is recommended to periodically nod your head, say "yes", "Yeah", "Yeah", etc. By this you give the interlocutor to understand what you listen to him and are interested in it. For example, when you talk about something on the phone, the use of such techniques the interlocutor gives you to understand what they are listening to you. Silence, throughout the story, would have any doubts about the partner's interest in your information.

Pause. Pause is needed in a conversation in order to help the interlocutor spoke to the end. Firstly, a person often needs time in order to formulate his thoughts and feelings, and secondly, pauses free the conversation from unnecessary and not necessary information. For example, telling the story, a person most likely imagines her. And, in order for a figurative presentation to shift into a verbal history, it is necessary to choose the necessary words. And pauses here are the necessary means of "reincarnation" of the word image.

Features of issues of issues. Open and closed questions.

Closed questions It is not relevant when you want to get from the interlocutor as much information as possible, and then when you need to speed up the receipt of consent or confirmation of the previously achieved agreement, confirm or refute your assumptions. Questions of this type imply answers: "Yes" or "no". For example, you can give such questions: "Did you eat today?", "Are you healthy?", "Are you here for a long time?", "You were alone?" etc.

Open questions Characterized by the fact that they cannot be answered "yes" or "no". They require any explanation. Usually begin with: "What ...", "Who ...", "how ...", "how much ...", "why ...", "What is your opinion ...". With the help of these type questions, you allow the interlocutor to maneuver, and conversation - go from the monologue to the dialogue. The following type may include this type of questions: "What did you eat today?", "How do you feel?", "How long have you been here?"

Perephrasing.This is the wording of the same thought, but in other words. Perephrasing makes it possible to say a person to see that he is correctly understood. And if not - he has the opportunity to make adjustments on time. When rephrase, focus on the meaning and content of the message, and not on the emotions that it is accompanied.

Perephrasing can be started by the following phrases:

- "If I understood you correctly, then ...";

- "Correct me if I am mistaken, but you say that ...";

- "In other words, you think that ...";

This reception is appropriate when the speaker logically completed one of the stories fragments and is going with thoughts to continue. It is not necessary to interrupt it while a fragment of the story is finished.

For example, your interlocutor tells that somehow he came home tired, put his portfolio and took off his shoes, and when he went to the room, saw a pot with flowers, broken and lying on the floor, and his favorite cat sat next to I decided not to punish her, although it was very upset. In this case, the reception of rephrase can be used like this: "If I understand you correctly, then, come home, you saw a broken pot with flowers and next to your cat. But, despite the fact that you were upset seen, you decided not to punish the pet. "

Summation.This reception summarizes the main ideas and feelings. This, as it were, with a conclusion from all that has already been told by a person. The summory phrase is a speech of the interlocutor in the "folded" form. This technique of active listening is fundamentally different from rephrase, the essence of which, as you remember, in repetition of the opponent's thought, but in your own words (which shows our attention and understanding to the interlocutor). In summarization, only the main thought is allocated from the whole part of the conversation, such phrases are useful for this as:

- "Your basic idea, as I understood, is that ...";

- "If you are summarized, then ...".

For example, the boss said to you that "due to the fact that relations with colleagues from Italy became intense and can face conflict, you need to go on a business trip to negotiations, to establish relationships with them and try to conclude a contract." Here, the admission of the summary would sound like this: "If you summarize what you say, you ask me to go to Italy in order to establish contact with colleagues and conclude an agreement with them."

- What do you think for what you need to be summarized?

- What situations can I use it? What?

Rapport.Rapport includes "joining" to a person according to certain "channels": on intonation, according to the tempo of speech and in respiration.

Accession on intonation.The same words spoken with different intonation are able to convey different meanings, up to the opposite. Even the simplest word "yes" with different intonation can carry a denial. The intonation is capable of transmitting deep emotions: sadness, pity, tender feelings, etc., and various states: indifference, curiosity, peace, anger, anxiety, etc. Therefore, in order for us to understand correctly, it is very important to track your own intonation.

For example, the phrase "I am glad to see you" with different intonation can wear different meaning. In one case, we understand that a person is sincerely glad to see us, and in another - that this phrase is told only from the norms of courtesy.

When communicating with the victims, the intonation joining sometimes gives a colossal result, there was no identification of it and you, the impression of kinship is created, similarity, understanding the state of the victim, which largely facilitates further interaction with him.

Attachment on the tempo of speech.The pace includes the speed of speech as a whole, the duration of the sound of individual words and pauses.

Too fast speech may indicate excitement and high internal tension, even some nervousness. Too slow and sluggish speech may indicate a depressive, apathetic state of a person. But in order to determine what actually the condition prevails from our interlocutor at the moment, this factor is not enough, as for some people, due to the characteristics of temperament, a fast or slow pace of speech is everyday. If the victim's speech is very fast, we can gradually slow down our pace, slightly reduce nervousness and internal opponent's voltage.

Connection by breathing."Joining" the interlocutor's breath, on the one hand, it is much easier to talk at one pace with the interlocutor (since the speech rate depends on breathing), and on the other, it is possible to change its emotional state, changing both the pace and his breathing. For example, a furious friend is bursting to you, which is outraged by the service at the local restaurant. His speech is fast, rapid breathing. And in this situation, it is necessary to join it and emotionally, and in the frequency of breathing, to lead a dialogue with him. In this case, the interlocutor will feel that you hear him and understand his feelings. After you understand that the interaction occurred, it is necessary to reduce the frequency of your breathing and reduce the emotional speech background. After a while you will see that your interlocutor talks to you in the same mode.

Reflection of feelings, empathy. The concept of "empathy" means the ability of a person to experience those emotions that arise from another person in the process of communicating with him. This is the ability to imagine yourself in the place of another and understand its feelings, desires, ideas and actions.

To establish an effective interaction, it is necessary to use the reception of the reflection of feelings, and then the conversation becomes more sincere, a feeling of understanding and empathy is created, and the source appears a desire to continue contact. Reception of "feelings reflection" includes two components:

Reflection of the feelings of the interlocutor. When you call the feelings that a person experiences, you see him and "fall" in his feelings, your interlocutor feels "relatives of the shower", begins to trust you more and communicate to a qualitatively new level.

Reflection of their feelings. Speaking about your feelings, you can solve several problems at once. First, you can significantly reduce the negative feelings and experiences by the fact that these feelings are voiced. Secondly, the conversation itself becomes more sincere. And, thirdly, encourages the interlocutor to openly express her feelings.

In the process of the hearing, it is important not to forget about the voice characteristics of the manner experiencing an anxiety or sensitive state when conversation. Such characteristics may be:

Frequent cumulating - can inform us about falsehood, insecurity, concern. But it is not necessary to forget that casing can be the result of respiratory diseases, for example, bronchitis;

Inappropriate to the moment of sudden laughter - can characterize the voltage, lack of control over what is happening.

All these features, of course, must be considered in the conversation, but do not forget that every person and his reaction is individual and does not always mean the same thing.

- How could you consider such external manifestations in your work?

- Remember whether there were such cases in your experience, where would your interpretation of a person, based on external signs, was erroneous?

- What did this lead to?

- What do you think, if in such a situation, not only the interpretation of external manifestations, but also an active hearing, will your interaction with the victims more efficient?

As with any other method, the active hearing has its underwater stones, the so-called common mistakes. Consider some of them:

The desire to give advice;

The desire to ask clarifying questions.

The first can be dangerous in that a person, after hearing your advice, can "work" the mechanisms of psychological protection. Resulting in:

First, a person, most likely, reject the Council proposed by you (regardless of how good it is), or the responsibility for the decision will give up to you;

Secondly, it is possible to destroy the early installed contact.

Ask many clarifying issues is also not recommended for reasons:

First, there is a big danger to lead the conversation rather far from the maternity-male theme;

Secondly, asking questions, you take responsibility for a conversation for yourself, talk a lot to yourself, instead of letting the opportunity to speak to your interlocutor (victim).

How to understand whether the active hearing method helped?
There are some indicators that are determining the success of this method in conversation:

1. Promotion in solving the problem of the interlocutor.

Man, pronouncing, begins to see the possible ways out of the problem situation.

2. A visible reduction in the intensity of negative experiences.

There is a rule that grief, divided with someone, becomes two times easier, and joy becomes twice as much. If a person begins to talk about himself or about his problem that interests more, it is another indicator of the effectiveness of the active hearing.

Recommendations for maintaining: At this stage of the work, it is recommended to exercise. Two volunteers from among students are leaving. One of them tells any story from his life to the second (the story should not be traumatic), the second retells it and summarizes it. After that, both participants exchange impressions. Watching discussed seen.

- Did the listening speaker understand correctly?

- Was it easy to highlight the main idea and leading human emotions?

- What was particularly difficult?

Thus, these techniques help not only communicate with close people, but also when working on emergency (with both victims and colleagues).

Leading modalities

Different people describe the same situations in different ways. This is due to the fact that the world around us looks different. For each of us, the perception of the situation on different so-called "channels" is characterized. These "channels" are called "leading modality". Modality is the prevailing system of perception by a person of the surrounding world. Three main modalities are distinguished: audial, visual and kinesthetic. Knowledge of modalities and ability to determine the lead modality in a person is necessary for a more efficient and fast contact with it.

Recommendations for maintaining: There is also a discrete modality that encompass information about the world by logical conclusions from the already available information. This type of modality occurs significantly less frequently, therefore its inclusion in the structure of the classes is left to the choice of a teacher or listeners.