Every day we see a lot of information with the advice of psychologists on how to increase your own self-esteem, practical advice and NLP practices for stable training of their judgment. But, what is a self-esteem, from where to get it and for whom, first of all, to influence it. It turns out that in the Word, there is a simple answer to this exciting question - it is an independent criterion for assessing his personality. Practical self-analysis of its attitude towards the surrounding emotions.

Neither the reaction of people around you nor the correct actions, nor even daily praise on your address are not able to change the well-established attitude towards yourself until you want to do it yourself.

The formation of a worthless attitude towards itself comes from childhood.

The high evaluation criterion, regardless of the manifestation, led to development further anxiety. Such a trait of the character, as the symptitude of the constant humiliation, is not only physical, but also emotional pressure. Also leave the imprint of moral and verbal ridicule and the lack of faith at any start.

Did you think about what people think, being close to you? After the survey in one of the country's megacities, psychologists said that people do not leave thoughts about themselves and their problems. The percentage of the population that your dirty shoes are worried today or excess weight is so small, which gives a clear picture of thinking around.

No one spends his time to think about other people's problems, criticize appearance, After all, every person on Earth has his own worries and plans. If there is a lot of thoughts in your thinking about who and how thinks about you is a dependent person from the opinion of foreign ones.

How to change self-esteem for good

Under the concept of "self-esteem" we understand your attitude towards ourselves. That is, changing your own reaction - you change yourself and your vision to the world. To increase self-esteem, there are various techniques.

There are two types to appreciate a person as a person: dependent- When any events out of the outside postpone the imprint on your mood, and independent - Despite the opinion of those who are nearby, you are confidently moving towards the goal.

Criteria that characterize the dependent self-esteem:

• You are important what they think others about you;
• If no one laughs over your jokes, there is no emotional reaction on the story, the personality attitude towards himself undoubtedly falls;
• Any criticism, heard nearby is accepted into its address.

Sometimes, dependence on the other opinions reaches the peak of self-destruction. After all, a person begins to live for the sake of the positive mark of others, and not for the sake of pleasure itself. A complex of such an understated self-esteem leads to a negative mood, apathy, decay of the forces, the lack of desire to work, do something in life.

Each person has its own personal list of positive qualities. Holding to this established list - you can live happily, and you can constantly search for shortages, worry about what they affect the opinion of others.

When you get cold - the reaction of the dependent opinions from other people will be negative.

- "At an ideal mother, children do not cry" - such a motto pursue moms with kids, traveling shopping or walking on the site. But it is worth the kid to make a remark, go against his decision or prohibit something, the whole district hears a terrible cry of the child.

In the subconscious of the parents of such children there is a negative reaction to itself. "I am a bad mother", "I am a bad father" - after such emotional bursts - you begin to be afraid of the repetition of a similar situation.

An independent response to the opinion of others will make you happy

It is the reaction that your situation should determine the individual assessment of what is happening, any actions, errors and possible ways to succeed. Conduring a specific case, see only for your steps, and any negative from the outside should pass by consciousness. Only this method will act to achieve a cherished goal.

The main rules of independent self-esteem:

• I do not look at the opinion of others, about my plans, life or relationship.
• Any emotions of foreign people are only their reaction, it is not worth applying it to themselves.
• Without allowing you to manipulate yourself, you put your values \u200b\u200bin the first place, showing the rest of your solid intention.

An adequate response to what is happening around you is for many people only a dream, the achievement of which seems so far that a big percentage is surrendered at half work on yourself.
A woman who looks self-critical and is looking for constantly negative moments in appearance, figure is very often alone and unhappy.

And a man, having a low level of self-esteem independently does not reach the desired victories. This leads to depression, alcoholism.

Each of us has a number of items, performing which feels great. It may be concerns about appearance, and can be practical, psychological qualities.

Depending on how much the strong framework of your criteria for self-examination, your condition will directly depend on.

Self-esteem you, as individuals should not depend on the items of the performed "conditional" plan of the ideal person. A clear awareness of yourself as a full-fledged person with a set of qualities that will allocate you and make unique - and there is a personal pride.

Self-esteem do not need to raise. You need to make it independent!

Methods that help become confident

It is worth recalling that the low level of self-esteem is your impressionability from the reaction of foreign people.

Even a successive lady, having educated children, good career growth, in its appearance finds many negative flaws. Such a woman can not feel completely happy, because every moment she remembers their shortcomings and begins to compare the behavior of others with its appearance.

The first method that will help show best features Human - all familiar collage.

• bursting a bunch of unnecessary magazines with an expression of emotions, rich in the life of successful people;
• the most beautiful photo is put in the center;
• choose ten best qualities that characterize you from a positive side;
• position the pictures of the best advantages around the photo are your personal features, thanks to which you are different from everyone;
• now remember the negative sides, then what you want to get rid of, feel complexes, it causes you fear;
• place the negative characteristics of your "I" according to the impact on your life;
• and most importantly, see your created picture masterpiece every day and begin to say goodbye to what dresses your life. Do not be afraid to say goodbye to old things, spend money on yourself - it is at these moments that your love for yourself rises to the top where your judgment is hidden.

The creation of such an illustrated poster will be able to show how much good you can accommodate what you can and what you can be proud of, and how little it turns out to be the deficiencies that you attribute such importance! They are simply lost among your merits, all this will be visible when you place the collage. Simple awareness of this fact It will help to stop concentrated on them. And if you want to move on, then every day it is worth working to improve one of the present qualities and get rid of what you are unhappy.

The second complex of simple steps will argue the consciousness on the feeling of harmony with himself without the influence of foreign:

• When talking with people, try to use phrases that denote the leader, this is an expression of your own opinion from yourself. "I want to do, I suggest" - This style of communication will give an internal impetus to a new stage of respect for yourself, will show in the team that you are determined.
• It is not worth walking sad and frowning, creating a formidable wall of inaccessibility. The easier you express your feelings, the emotionally reacting to what is happening, the easier for people with you to find a common language. Agree, with a secretive person, the conversation is more difficult, the unknown of his reaction to any proposal will cause such a candidacy.
• In the case when you are against anything, it is not silent to stand still and wait for someone else, the beddown will objected to the proposed news. Show your disagreement is in the case when you do not like what is happening. So you can always express true desires, needs without imposing other people.
• Take a good attitude towards you with gratitude, without a feeling of shame. If you have made a compliment, know - you are worthy of these words. And your cooled coffee because of long fees and torn stockings let them remain a secret, which no one needs to know.

Where does the opinion of themselves begins to develop?

The understated self-esteem is the result of the painstaking care of parents, teachers surrounding the child from childhood. When the kid will grow up, his curiosity begins to grow, and often it becomes not so comfortable for relatives as I would like.

Comparing unbuilding with a quiet adjacent boy, in adulthood, the guy feels shame at the sight of a stronger opponent. And if the reason is located in the uncertainty of his forces - he silently go away, giving the best to another.

Remember how the parting between you and your child in children's gardenschool. Frightened eyes of a little man who is most afraid that no one will come behind him. Stress, with whom not everyone can handle at a young age comes from your home "frightening" phrases: you will not obey, I will give uncle, you will not remove the toys - I will leave forever. Manipulation by children's emotions, based on attachment and love for the closest person, are the main mistakes of parents who lead to the fall of self-esteem below the plinth.

If you start noting the fear of communicating with the surrounding people, begin to immediately engage with your favorite baby.

Methods using which you change your view

How to increase self-esteem in five minutes a day - does it really happen? Yes, read the first way.

1. Outcasting.
   If you daily talk to yourself a simple set of phrases, after a couple of months, your attitude to yourself will change.

   I confidently go to work (interview, date).

   
   

   I have attractive features in appearance, I have a good character (you can draw up a list of your positive characteristics and not only repeat them, but also to improve).

   
   

   It does not matter what the rest think, because my actions will lead to a happy outcome.

   
   

   I can. I can handle. I am bold (bold). I am easy to perform a complicated, important order.

   
   The female body is more emotionally reacting to the events taking place, while the male is all pay in themselves. But everyone, regardless of gender and age, self-support will allow you to believe in yourself. Prophoving such short affirmations - short phrases carrying the semantic load, the girl becomes more confident, and the men such a self-adequacy technique helps to raise a low level of personal self-esteem.
2. Learn to be yourself - you are unique.
   It is difficult, who besides you know all the negative moments of life. Starting to compare ourselves with a successful star film, always smiling neighbor - I am fleeting, you begin to imitate, using the ledges and expressions in your speech.

   Living your life with other people's emotions, dependence on the assessment of others grows a million times. After all, playing a role, always waiting for applause at the end.

   Do not create someone else's image of Idylliya, it is better to turn yourself into someone who will depend on the assessment of which will depend on someone else's opinion.

3. Love yourself - make you love you surrounding.
   Often we are looking for flaws in ourselves, comparing with a benchmark of beauty. But, what prevents you from becoming an object of admiration and imitation?

   Secrets of strengthening love to themselves:

• Go to the beauty salon - it is not necessary to spend hundreds of thousands to create a beautiful fantasty. This month is a hairdresser, on the next schedule makeup, manicure.

  Travelers for successful and confident stars - this can be envied. But they spend very much in order to feel their appeal.

• Take any compliments in your address with gratitude, do not hurry to talk about how this dress cost you - you are worthy of these words of admiration.
• Learn to self-improve your positive qualities. It is emphasizing the advantages that the negative aspects of attention will remain much less. The ability to highlight your best character traits will help you minimize what you were so ashamed. Stably compare yourself with how you were before.
• Forget about the fact that the defective and shy person can be happy. Become successful thanks to a positive self-relation to yourself.

Love reading!

Movies that can motivate you and believe in our own strength

Review movies in which shy, disintegration modesty achieves success:

• Eat, Pray, Love (2010)
• Life in pink color
• Change Road (2008)
• Smile Mona Lisa
• The Devil Wears Prada
• Frida

Each film is not only teaches to overcome difficulties, finding a way to happiness. They teach internally to be happy, having what is on this period of time.

Psychotherapist, which is often so afraid to go for help, always advises to start with small. Following the recommendations in order to improve your attitude towards yourself, it is worth remembering the rule about the golden middle. An unstable self-love approach to selfless will be wrapped by a new problem - egoism in relation to others.

198 0 Self-esteem. What it is? Is it possible to say that self-esteem determines who we are, our life, the relationship that we build with others, our professional achievements? Of course yes! Self-assessment helps us solve everyday tasks, make decisions. The way we cope with difficulties interact with other people affects our self-education.

Many people for life strive for false ways to increase their self-esteem, hiding for expensive things, striving for an ideal figure. If for a second to think and remember some of the well-known and successful personalities, which were noticed in simple clothes and were hardly similar to prosperous, rather on Hipsters. They are unlikely to suffer from low self-esteem, because their account in the bank speaks about the opposite.

Everything comes from our consciousness and subconscious, from what we think and what feelings are experiencing at that moment.

Of course, our physical health is played not the latter role. How we eat, whether we are engaged in sports. After all, if we are taking airsdown, we are unlikely to be confident in everything.

1. Fear.

Often, before making a decision, we are experiencing fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in the comfort zone, as a result of which we do not decide to change something. Everyone dreams of something that he can't start to do, someone always wanted to learn how to skate on a snowboard or open her cooking, and perhaps even to have a child. But at the stage of reflections about this, we already experience fear, although they did not even make a step to implement the intended.

One of the first goals towards improving self-esteem is to get rid of fear.

Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Imagine it as a picture in the frame. Then imagine how this picture is removed from you and becomes less and less noticeable, ultimately turning to a point that disappears at all.

The next way to get rid of fear is to feel all the insignificance of fear, as well as what he does not deserve your alarms. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbed with a hand over a window window.

2. Flexibility of character.

Develop its flexibility. Every one probably noticed a sharp reaction to a slight case - for example, friends decide to cancel the meeting at the last minute. Scientists believe that it comes from our childhood. To begin with, determine clearly, in what cases you begin to react sharply. Is the circumstances so much so react? Should this situation be reacting so acute? If these questions cause you a desire to defend, then you really react to this situation too sharply. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to realize their essence and understand that in your past there was their reason. Another way is to intentionally, deliberately change your habits. Ask yourself how tied to your usual plans. Can you go from work another expensive? Or go to the store on Wednesday, and not on Thursday, as usual? Can you change your plans, while not disorienting yourself? This is your chance to become more flexible. The flexibility in one area makes it possible to develop flexibility in other areas.

3. Put in front of you tasks and decide them.

Put in front of yourself the real tasks and reach them. Choose from everyday cases the most important and solve them. You will experience a sense of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most difficult tasks and will gradually move towards easier. Perhaps success will not always be, but it should not be angled, on the contrary, remember those tasks that you have already completed. Feel the confidence that you can achieve everything ("The foundation flooded, the walls were set, the overlap was left, but there are not enough resources. Nothing terrible. But how quickly flooded the foundation and how the rest was fulfilled.). Always think about what you are doing well. If something happens - then you deserve it. Confidence will come when you realize that the tasks set are fulfilled, even if they were small and simple.

How to learn to appreciate yourself?

Each of us is a unique personality, each has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, achievements. Everyone perceives the world in its own way. In order to notice your uniqueness and rejoice at it every day, write down on a piece of paper all that you consider in yourself the best. It can be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements ("I have a lot of experience in a certain sphere"), as well as character traits ("responsive", "I can listen to"). If you thought about the fact that you do not taste, do not write it down. You should not be limited to one day, constantly re-read and replenish the list.

You can also ask your loved ones and relatives about how and with what situation they could contact you, as a specialist, a person with experience. Write it up, and periodically read. This will give you confidence in yourself, as well as peace of mind that there are people to whom you can seek support.

4. Find what gives you strength and confidence.

Perhaps this is a yoga lesson or a walk along the embankment, and maybe these minutes spent behind your favorite book, or simply pleasant memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel the tide of strength and joy.

Fill your life with paints. Do not leave the gold-plated service for the holidays, take it and use every day, enjoying his beauty.

Also, psychologists advise to develop what the strength and confidence gives you. If you do not give foreign languages \u200b\u200b(and you have already signed up for courses in a foreign language) and at the same time you are in an depressed state, other successes can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what is best known to you. The awareness of your own skill strengthens the faith in the consideration of positive emotions that you experience (pride, joy, ease of mind).

5. Save and emphasize your uniqueness.

No need to sink in the problems of her husband and in concerns about children. You can love a person, make different "feats" for him and receive pleasure from it, but you can't live for him, but he cannot live for you. Your favorite person loved you for what you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.

• • Self-assessment functions and their role
• • "Symptoms" of understated self-esteem
• • Signs "Healthy" (high) self-esteem
• • Cause №1. Family education errors
  • Cause # 2. Frequent failures in childhood
  • Cause number 3. Lack of clear life goals and impositions
  • Cause №4. Negative Social Surroundings
  • Cause number 5. Health problems and exterior flaws
• • Method number 1. Change the environment and try more to communicate with successful people
  • Method number 2. Visiting special training, seminars and other events
  • Method number 3. Do not be afraid to perform unusual actions
  • Method number 4. Refuse excess self-criticism
  • Method number 5. Sport and healthy lifestyle
  • Method number 6. Regular listening of affirmations
  • Method number 7. Get personal success and achievements
• 9. Conclusion

What is the essence and importance of the concept of "self-esteem". "The most important thing is what you see ourselves." This statement is true truth, disagree with it almost impossible.

Indeed, any victory - from the most insignificant to a brilliant triumph, undoubtedly, is the result of the fact that at a certain step of his life, a person absolutely sincerely believed in himself, correctly assessed his own significance, found a solid faith due to its capabilities.

In this article you will learn:

• What is self-esteem?
• How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? And how to develop it?
• Does self-esteem affect the behavior of a person?

Also discuss how most people evaluate themselves and how the course of their lives depends on self-satisfaction.

We increase self-confidence - 7 ways to raise self-esteem

1. What is self-esteem: definition and its influence on our life

Self-satisfaction - This is an individual's opinion on the importance and materiality of self regarding other people, as well as the assessment of the personal qualities of the shortcomings and advantages.

Undoubtedly, an objective self-esteem is needed for the full harmonious functioning of the personality in a public environment.

Without a healthy self-sustainment and understanding of the value of self, achievement by a person of many living goals - success in society, career growth and promotion, sufficient self-realization, material wealth, harmony in a circle of family, spiritual well-being - becomes completely impossible. (Read also an article - and money in your life, there you will find all the popular ways to attract money)

Self-assessment functions and their role

Self-esteem performs functions:

• Protective - guarantees certain independence of the identity itself from a foreign opinion;
• Regulatory - provides the ability to solve personal preference tasks;
• Developing - initiates the impetus to the improvement of the person.

In the early stages of the formation of self-assessment, the dominant value certainly has assessment of the identity of the child others - primarily parents, as well as educators and teachers, friends and peers.

In ideal conditions, self-esteem should be determined only by its own opinion of the individual about himself, but in society it is impossible. A person is in constant psychological interaction with other people, and, therefore, on the formation of him, as a person, and the formation of its self-esteem affects the countless set of factors.

According to psychologists and experts, perfect self-esteem – This is an extremely accurate and correct assessment of a person's own abilities.. It is extremely important!

After all, if the self-esteem is underestimated, then she forces a person to constantly doubt the choice of one or another solution, to think for a long time, be afraid and, often, to make an incorrect choice. But too high self-esteem, on the contrary, leads to the fact that human solutions are unnecessarily bold, sometimes even bold, do not correspond to the potential of its capabilities, and this also leads to the commitment of a huge number of rude vital mistakes.

Yet more often, psychologists face the problem of underestimation by the person of their forces and opportunities. Such a person is completely unable to reveal as its potential, while he is absolutely not aware of where his problem lies, performs all new mistakes due to constant insecurity, and does not understand how to raise self-esteem. Due to the constant sensation of meaninglessness of its existence, people with low self-esteem often unsuccessful, poor, unhappy.

One of the fairly common pathological manifestations of low self-esteem is inferiority complex .

2. Learn to respect and love yourself - it is immensely important!

Raise self-esteem - it means to learn yourself to respect, love yourself, i.e. Take yourself exactly what you are, with all the disadvantages and vices. It is in order to understand how to gain confidence in yourself and develop it, we wrote this article, since confidence and self-esteem are closely intertwined with each other.

How to become confident? How to develop confidence?

Long known the fact that ideal people Simply does not exist. Flaws have all of us. But a person confident in himself, the difference from constantly hesitating, indecisive and insecure, which notes not only his shortcomings, but also remembers about the merits that every person is probably eating. In addition, a person confident is undoubtedly able to prevent himself in society.

If you do not like yourself, who will take such responsibility to themselves? How can other people love you? There is an interesting psychological phenomenon - consciously and subconsciously people always strive for contacts and communication precisely with self-confident individuals. Such people are most often preferred in business partners, as well as in life satellites.

If you tend to doubt yourself and reproach yourself for any trifle, you yourself automatically program yourself for further failures, failures and make even more difficult decision-making process.

Learn to finally notice your advantages, remember your achievements , feel free to praise yourself once again. Take care of yourself small failures and troubles, love and respember yourself - And soon you will notice how the attitude of those around you will change.

Self-assessment and self-confidence very important characteristics in employment to work. Therefore, we also recommend reading the article - when taking a job "

"Symptoms" of understated self-esteem

A person having a low self-esteem often shows such signs as:

• excess self-criticism, constant dissatisfaction with itself;
• excessive susceptibility to criticism of other people, strong dependence on judgments and opinions of others;
• an irresistible desire to please people, consistently be something useful;
• pronounced fear of mistake, slowness and tendency to infinite doubts during the adoption of a significant solution;
• inexplicable jealousy, turbulent envy to successes of others;
• hidden hostility to others;
• mood to a permanent protective position, the need to explain all the time and justify the decisions taken and perfect actions;
• pesssimism, negativism, the tendency to see himself and everything around in the gloomy tones;

A person who has understated self-esteem often perceives temporary difficulties and small everyday failures as permanent, and makes the relevant negativeand, which is noteworthy, invalid conclusions Regarding existing potential and future opportunities.

The worse we perceive ourselves, the smaller we respect, the negative rather the attitude of the people around us. And this will inevitably entail alienation, extension and closure, and therefore - a tendency to depressions and many other psycho-emotional disorders.

3. Vera and high self-esteem - an integral factor of achieving vitality!

Some people consider selfless sin or at least something negative, such that is better to avoid.

But in reality, the lack of a man of love for itself and the lack of self-esteem is just the source of the occurrence of the raised complexes and many internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion, the most surrounding people will never have another point of view about him. And in contrast - people with sufficient self-esteem are usually highly appreciated by others: their opinion is always authoritative and weighty, their interests are taken into account, they are striving to cooperate with them, to make acquaintances, build friendly relationships or to create a family.

Thus, having learned to respect himself, we will certainly gain respect for others, and, moreover, learn to treat the opinions of others about us.

Signs "Healthy" (high) self-esteem

People who have good self-esteem possess the following positive characteristics:

• Accepted, love and respect their appearance as it is. And if you find any disadvantages - they are striking them to overcome them;
• Do not question their strengths, aims to succeed and future victories;
• They are not afraid to risk, make bold solutions, more prone to active actions than reflections, do not fear to make mistakes and make the appropriate conclusions, learn to them;
• Coolly perceive the criticism of others, relatively relate to compliments;
• They know how to communicate with people qualitatively, are always interested in their opinion and are not afraid to express their own, they do not have timidity, uncertainty and constraints when communicating with unfamiliar people;
• With due respect relate to the opinion of other people, but always have and, if necessary, can protect and defend their own point of view;
• The health of their body care and maintain positive emotional well-being;
• Strive for self-development, indiffered by self-improvement, the constant acquisition of new impressions, knowledge, experience;
• It is not inclined to concentrate their attention and doubt the negative for a long time in the event of any failure or failure.

Solid belief and sufficient self-esteem - The same indispensable factors to achieve life success and human happiness, like water and sun for plant growth. Without them, the progress of personality is impossible. After all, low self-esteem completely deprives a person with any perspective and even the slightest hope for future positive changes .

4. Low self-esteem factors - 5 main reasons

It is known to immeasurable many factors that directly or indirectly affect the formation of our self-assumption. A small role is assigned to genetic features and hereditary predisposition, but in a much greater degree of external environment factors still have a decisive effect.

Let's analyze the five most common causes of developing a low self-esteem.

Cause №1. Family education errors

As you know, each of us is from childhood. And, oddly enough, many of our complexes and negative blocks of our consciousness also come from there. From child education, his future life directly depends on childhood. After all, it is in childhood that the parents form the "rules" on which a person will live in the future, those "filters" through which he will evaluate what is happening around.

Therefore, how you raise your child today - Direct mirror reflection of what person you get tomorrow. Believe, the best, important and valuable thing is that the mother and father is able to make their children for the benefit - to teach them to love themselves, to work out their proper level of self-esteem.

Self-assessment of the future person begins its formation in deep childhood. At an early age, the child can not yet objectively assess the results of his actions and actions, so the main source of formation of his opinion is the nearest environment, i.e. Most often parents.

For a small baby, parents are his whole world. If the parents are good enough to him, the installation will be formed in its subconscious the world is good ", The little person will be configured to positive.

If parents in childhood never encourage their children, and on the contrary, they scold, constantly reproach and punish, the child will simply have no foundation for the development of love for themselves - the soil on which confidence could be formed in their abilities will be destroyed. We do not in any way call for connivor, but if you wish the benefits to your children, learn to notice not only their misses, but also achievements. And certainly pay not only your attention, but also the child's attention. If the kid is constantly hears from you: "You are unreason, awkward, ink, etc. - It will certainly be deposited in his children's subconscious, and will leave his negative imprint on the development of a future personality.

Under no circumstances can not constantly compare and compare your child with the rest of the children. Every person without exception - this is an individual . Comparing the child with someone, we already suffer from childhood, as a person, contribute to the development of the complex of inferiority.

If a child hears too many prohibitions in childhood, endless " not "And" it is impossible "," He is already potentially doomed to unsuccessful life, a small income, few friends in the future.

To a sharp decrease in self-esteem and disrupting confidence in its own abilities, words and actions affects the infinite criticism by the parents of any initiatives, first undertakings and actions. Any positive initiative in childhood must be encouraged! After all, even more than years, being for a long time adults, a person who was often criticized as a child, still continues to be afraid of all the same criticism, condemnation of others, errors. Parents, as well as teacher, educators, trainers, must know how to raise self-esteem and self-esteem a child who suffers from indecision, doubt and uncertainty.

Optimal method - Praise, unobtrusive encouragement. Sometimes enough several times from the soul to praise the child for the correct self-performed homework, beautifully drawn drawing, with the expression told the verse, - and his self-esteem will definitely increase.

Do not forget that the center of the world for the child is his family. It is you - the authors of the foundation of a rod of a future personality. Passivity, misinterfidence, apathy, indecision, uncertainty and many others negative traits- Direct reflection of precisely family, primarily parent, suggestions, installations, improper education models. As a rule, self-esteem is higher for single children in families and the firstborn. Others have prolonged "complex younger brother", which arises when parents run without end to the comparison of the youngest child with the eldest.

According to many psychologists , impeccable for bookmarking a good self-esteem family - the one, where mother is always calm, balanced and in a good mood, and his father is demanding, fair and has an indisputable authority.

Cause # 2. Frequent failures in childhood

It is not interesting that our life change and multifaceted, in her success alternates with bad luck, white stripes with black, victory - with lesions. Ever absolutely every person will face life nonwoman, netrol, banal failure.

No one from all this is insured, besides, it contributes to the emergence of life experience, the development of the power of will, becoming character. But it is undoubtedly important our own attitude towards experienced non-ad. And especially they can injure exactly the child, since the strength of the character in it is finally not yet formed.

Any tested negative event can affect the vulnerable psyche of the child in the form of a lifelong complex of guilt and the decline of self-esteem.

for exampleSometimes children reproach themselves in divorce their parents or their endless quarrels, and then the children's sense of guilt is modified into continuous doubts and inability to make a decision.

In childhood, the whole and completely harmless, from the position of an adult, the events often acquire a universal scale.

For instance, conquering a silver, not a gold medal in sports, an adult athlete will be drunk and even more stubbornly will continue training, and the child can break, get a psychological trauma and complexes for the rest of life, especially if parents and trainer Do not show proper understanding of the current situation.

What focuses low self-esteem in childhood? Failures and mistakes, ridicule of classmates, rash remarks of adults, primarily parents, criticism of teachers. As a result, the teenager creates an incorrect idea that he is bad, unsuccessful, defective, unlucky, pre-committed for a negative, and an erroneous feeling of guilt for his thoughts, decisions, actions.

Cause number 3. Lack of clear life goals and impositions

If you do not have clear goals that you would like to achieve, positive aspirations, and do not even try to change something for the better, do not apply any volitional effort, - accordingly, your life will still be boring and bladder, gray and monotonous.

Often, people who underestimate themselves live "according to the template", random "on autopilot". They have long been familiar with gray tones, an inconspicuous "mouse" lifestyle, the complete lack of fresh impressions and picturesque paints - and there is absolutely no desire from the well-minded quagger. Over time, these apathetic people cease to even properly follow the appearance, arrange with a small income, stop dreaming and crave something more. Of course, self-esteem in this case is not that low, but there is no completely.

Much, a person is being passed by passive and apathetic, and then all the problems and trouble shifts on his wife (her husband) when he becomes family.

The output suggests one: For such a person, there is simply burning need - to increase self-esteem. Otherwise, his life will continue to be painted exclusively with dark tones until he himself takes graceful effort to change his life and, most importantly, himself.

Cause №4. Negative Social Surroundings

Science has proven the existence of mirror neurons - unusual cells of the brain, having a property to be activated not only during the implementation of a particular action, but also when observing these action by others. Thus, gradually, we are somewhat similar to those who make up our close environment.

If there are people around you without certain aspirations and specific life goals that are in a sustainable spiritual anabiosis, where you will have a traction for internal modifications.

High self-esteem and healthy ambitions are possible only where there are samples for imitation. If people are in your environment, boring, passive, non-initiative, got sick with the gray and inconspicuous life of "in the shade", then it is likely that you will be absolutely arranged.

If you have noticed that around you, everything is incomprehensible to life, constantly gossip, condemn others or zerlovyat- cross off These people from the nearest circle are all available ways. After all, they can actually be a barrier on the way of improving your creative potential and achieving success.

Cause number 5. Health problems and exterior flaws

An understated self-esteem is often characteristic of children and adolescents with defects of appearance or congenital diseases.

If even parents behave correctly, carefully and tactfully towards the child who has health problems, then peers are likely to still leave a negative mark on his self-satisfaction.

Common Situation - Hands with overweight, which in the children's team often fools, give them various nicknames, often offensive. In this case, it is not possible to avoid a catastrophically low self-esteem if you cannot accept the necessary measures in a timely manner.

Of course, it is worth trying to eliminate existing imperfections. If it is unrealistic, try to develop in a person other necessary qualities that would help him become more persistent, strong, charismatic, cheerful, capable and confident.

The world is known to the lot of examples, where people with irreparable physical disabilities and incurable diseases have made tremendous success, universal recognition, have acquired good families and live a happiest life that has not seen many even in dreams. (List a few of them: Carrie Brown, Nick Vuychich, Jessica Long, etc.)

5. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways to improve self-esteem

Let's learn to raise self-esteem, develop self-confidence and to launch yourself! Fortunately, there is a sea of \u200b\u200bways to awaken faith in your own strength, but now let's dwell on seven of them, in our opinion, quite reliable and effective.

Method number 1. Change the environment and try more to communicate with successful people

If you dramatically change the circle of your communication and start contacting with purposeful, successful, self-confident people, your life is guaranteed very quickly will change for the better.

Little to you will return a sense of own dignity, self-esteem, determination, courage, love. all those personal qualities without which it is impossible achieving vitality .

Communicating with prosperous and successful people, you will begin to appreciate your own individuality, you will become more careful to use your personal time, will certainly gain a life goal and be sure to succeed with your own.

Method number 2. Visiting special training, seminars and other events

In any city, various events are held for everyone, specialized training and seminars on which psychologists' specialists help people become more confident in themselves and lift self-esteem.

Good specialists with experience of such work for the maximum short term Will be able to turn a timid, clumsy, indecisive person to a strong, volitional, satisfied and purposeful person. the main thing - Have a sincere desire and tune in to the upcoming positive changes.

If you still do not want to resort to assistance, and you can cope with the problem yourself, you should become familiar with the following literature:

• Brian Tracy "self-esteem";
• Anteline Helen "Charm of Femininity"
• et al. (There are many similar literature on the Internet)

Method number 3. Do not be afraid to perform unusual actions

A person has to run away from problems and hide in the zone of familiar one's own comfort. This is quite explained. It is much easier in difficult situations to calm themselves eating a mountain of sweets, lots of alcohol, or just sit at home in a chair and sorry yourself, savoring your own impotence. Many times it is more difficult to adequately accept the challenge and to accomplish something absolutely not peculiar to you earlier.

At first, it will seem to you that the comforts of the comfort zone are unusual, hostile, someone else's and intense world, but then you will understand that real life is complete bright colors , unforgettable adventures and positive emotions, is just where you have not yet.

Permanent found in habitual conditions resembles life in a kind of invisible cell, from which you are afraid to go out only because you are accustomed to it, and do not know what is waiting for you beyond.

When you manage to leave "Comfort zone" And at the same time keep calm, collens and balance, you will get a strong incentive to increase self-esteem and create a new, more attractive image.

No one asks you to start with global change. To begin with, for example, instead of returning from work to watch a long-standing boring TV series, visit the gym or visit old friends.

Go to the goal - For six months learn an unfamiliar language or today to get acquainted with a pretty girl. Do not be afraid of mistakes! If for the first time you do not work smoothly and perfectly - anyway the mass of new impressions and improving self-esteem are guaranteed.

Method number 4. Refuse excess self-criticism

Stop finally engaged to engage in self-adhesiveness, focus on the negative, to reveal yourself for the mistakes performed by the lacaround, not the perfect appearance, another failure in personal life. You will immediately become much easier!

You will not spend a lot of energy to myself, and will certainly find time and strength for other, more creative, right and worthy tasks.

Remember: Whatever you are, you are the only unsurpassed, unique and unique person on this huge planet. Why makes it easy to compare ourselves with others? Try to concentrate better on achieving the necessary goals, review your potential and your personal understanding of happiness.

Discover your eyes to the positive qualities of your personality. Watch out the strengths and increhensively work on their improvement.

Finally, from any failures of the past, experienced disappointments and all errors allowed, you can withdraw invaluable benefit, the name of which is everyday wisdom and life experience.

Method number 5. Sport and healthy lifestyle

It is known that one of the simplest and most effective methods to increase self-esteem is to actively play sports, dancing, physical education or other activities focused on improving health and self-saturation. It is no secret that a healthy body has always been bypassing a console healthy spirit and pure thoughts.

Suiting sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critical and automatically respect itself. Moreover, the improvement of self-esteem does not depend on the results of workouts at all: even if the changes are minimal, the activity itself is important, the occupy process itself.

The more energetically, your workouts, the higher you begin to value myself. The present phenomenon is an explanation from the point of view of biochemistry: During intensive sports in the human body, special substances are produced - dopamines - so-called "Joy hormones."

Method number 6. Regular listening of affirmations

Affirmation - This is a short verbal formula, which, with a frequent repetition, forms a positive setting in the human subconscious.

It is this installation in the future leads to a transformation of the character traits and personal qualities for the better. Now affirmations are considered psychologists as one of the most efficient ways of reprogramming a person's consciousness.

These verbal formulas are always voiced as the fact that causes a person to perceive them as something inevitable, the fact that in any scenario will inevitably happen.

If our own subconscious mind considers us stronger, successful, and purposeful, then we gradually be sure to become such.

Main condition When using a linguistic miracle formula - strict regularity.

Method number 7. Get personal success and achievements

Sometimes raise self-esteem can help you have created a diary of your own victories and achievements. This method is particularly popular with women.

Be sure to get such a diary and make data about everything that you have achieved day, week, month. This is a really powerful tool that will force you to believe in yourself and stimulate your self-esteem.

Let every day of his record replenish information about your victories, even very insignificant! And do not forget to regularly re-read it.

We regularly use these methods and then your self-esteem will be quite normal, your life will begin to improve, material problems will go to another level. By the way, do not forget to read: "", since without these recommendations it is impossible to gain financial independence.

6. Fighting of public opinion addiction

If you give too great importance to the opinions of others - you potentially encourage yourself to fail.

Of course, a truly benevolent, objective and constructive critic, indicating your specific errors and received from reliable people who can actually trust - it is very useful and will help you develop and tirelessly improve. But excessive dependence on other people's views - this is a huge mistake.

Appreciate your own opinion, have your point of view, do it only as you think you need, and not someone else. Do not give a colossal value to someone else's words! No one, besides you, do not know your true desires, goals, needs and can not judge what is good for you, and what is not. If you want to do something new and unusual, the question "What people will say this" should never stop you.

Do not be afraid to implement your dream and do not dwell on the consequences.

7. How to learn how to manage your self-esteem and find yourself - 5 useful advice

Consider five important tipsthat will help manage their self-esteem:

1. Do not compare yourself with other people - This is absolutely in vain and stupid lesson. It makes sense to compare only "myself in the past" and "ourselves now", and to concentrate attention to this is necessary only on positive changes;
2. Do not criticize yourself Without tired, it is better to remind yourself a list of your positive qualities, achievements and victories (even if even the most tiny);
3. Chat more with merry, positively configured people;
4. Do you most often, what do you like;
5. Fewing less! More!

Never forget that you are an interesting outstanding personality with the grand potential of unlimited possibilities. And only the development of good self-esteem is a reliable way to identify your numerous abilities and talents to the fullest.

8. Test for self-esteem - determine your level of attitude towards yourself

Answer to the proposed questions "Yes" or "No", and then calculate the number of positive and negative answers.

1. * Do you often bother yourself for previously errors?
2. * Do you like to gossip with friends, discuss your common acquaintances?
3. * You do not have formed goals and clear plans for future life?
4. * Do you alien sports?
5. * Do you often worry and worry because of trifles?
6. * Once in the new company, you do not like to be "in the spotlight"?
7. * When meeting a person of the opposite sex, it's hard for you to support a conversation?
8. * Alien criticism grieves you?
9. * Are you inclined to envy the success of others?
10. * You can easily hurt, offend careless words?

So, if you have:
From the 1st to 3 affirmative answers - our congratulations, you have good , "Healthy" self-esteem.
More than 3rd Answers "Yes": Your self-esteem zanizhen. Be sure to work on it.

9. Conclusion

Now you know what to believe in your strength, do not be afraid to risk, not to attach importance to the criticism of the environment and soberly assess our own talents - it is entirely possible at all difficult. the main thing - Sincere, genuine desire to change and readiness to work on yourself.

You can believe in anything, hope for a miracle, God's help, good luck or happy case, but never forget that the most important thing is - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!

Realizing this, you, without any exaggeration, you can drastically change your whole life.

© Sergeeva O., Text, 2014

© Tarasov E.A., Text, 2012

© design. LLC "EXMO Publishing House", 2014

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book can be reproduced in any form and any means, including posting on the Internet and in corporate networks, for private and public use without written permission of copyright holder.

© Electronic version of the book prepared by LITRES (www.litres.ru)

* * *

Oksana Sergeeva
Part 1. How to awaken self-confidence
50 simple rules

Introduction

An awkwardness in an unfamiliar company, a sense of shame, insecurity in their own forces, permanent self-vacation for the perfect slip, inability to change the situation in their favor - familiar sensations? Many from time to time experience such emotions and feelings. However, most are able to cope with the attacks of uncertainty and take the top over their own shyness. But some of them fail to overcome their fears. Such people consider unsure in themselves. This uncertainty can manifest itself differently and in varying degrees. For example, one person is shy to get acquainted with the girls, fearing to be rejected, the other is afraid to leave the father's house and start living independently, the third avoids public relations, preferring the loneliness to find the team. Each of them has its own insecurity, their fears. In this book we will touch different sides of insecurity, we will try to find it even where at first glance it is not in mom.

If you have time from time to time in yourself and your strengths and these doubts prevent you from developing, go ahead and solve the problems that you encounter, it's time to try to figure out why this happens why you are not able to cope with your emotions. This book is designed to help you in overcoming yourself and finding inner self-confidence.

Have you ever set a question: What is confidence in yourself and what is it expressed? Indeed - how to distinguish a person confident from a person of unsure? Some believe that self-confidence is a synonym for success. The stronger and more confident personality, the more successful. Accordingly, the most important signs of self-confidence are signs of high public status - for example, a high position to which an expensive costume is attached, a fashionable car brand, a presentable appearance. Others say that the true meaning of confidence is to be able to speak in public, because only a person confidently can convey his thought, his position to a large number of people. Many people, even possessing a high public status, this is not given. Accordingly, the main signs of self-confidence, according to this point of view, are a public profession, speaking abilities, the ability to hit the public.

Thirdly convinced that true, deep confidence is expressed in the ability to establish contact with different people, the ability to convince and relieve them. A confident person easily enters a new company, while not seeking to deliberately like others, does not put on the mask of courtesy in order to be adopted in a new society - he just remains himself. Signs of his self-confidence are natural, openness, charisma.

So how to be? What confidence you need to develop first? What is the most important in creating a confident image? By and large, these points of view do not contradict each other. They are part of the whole. A confident person is successful to a greater or lesser extent, possesses talent to public speeches and an inland rod, which makes it an attractive and bright person. This is a kind of three levels, three plates of a confident personality. To become confident, you need to develop all the elements of a confident image.

However, we often meet with the underdevelopment of a confident image when, for example, something is easily managed, but over something you need to work. In this book we will give practical advice on the demonstration of confidence in various situations, to create an external image of self-confident person, on the formation of skill public speeches, as well as to build a confident life position.

Chapter 1
About confident and not very

Who is "confident man"? This is a relaxed, calm, energetic person who behaves in accordance with his character and in accordance with the situation in which he is. It is adequate in estimates, calm in reactions, even in emotions. Most often it is pleasant in communication. He easily converges with people, confidently expresses his point of view, can enter into a dispute and prove his right thing if his interlocutor is mistaken. Confidence includes three basic components: a confident image, confident communication, a confident life position.

If you want to become such a person, first of all, it is necessary to figure out what the true meaning of self-confidence. To do this, we will need to look around and understand that there is something. It is important to distinguish true confidence from its similarity, to see the difference between the true faith in itself and snobbery, arrogance, overestimated self-esteem, is ambitious. In this chapter, we will also try to figure out what the difference between timidity and shyness than each other are a modest and fearful person.

Rule number 1.
To be confident, you need to adequately evaluate your abilities.

Confidence, according to the majority, is an internal conviction in its own rightness, in its own position, in its own talent. We call a confident person who is not afraid to declare their own giftedness, about their unique skills and abilities. However, as practice shows, one conviction in its own giftedness is not enough.

Most of us carefully talks about their abilities, skills, few people can confidently declare that he is better than others. As a rule, such a statement causes an ambiguous reaction. Someone begins to admire confident and gifted person, and someone disapprobating himself about him as a man with a clearly overestimated self-esteem. We can talk about confidence in this case only when words and the real state of affairs coincide. But if we understand that there is a person in front of us who clearly overstate his abilities, we begin to experience dislike for him. Here we are dealing with self-confidence, which only remotely resembles true confidence.

What is the essence of this phenomenon? A person under the influence of certain conditions (as a rule, this is a greenhouse medium of upbringing, the parent adorable and hyperopka) begins to feel the presence of superposts that allocate it among many other people, and in fact it does not have these abilities, but he sincerely believes in their Existence. This confidence can be supported by the testimony of loved ones, friends, and may arise as a protest for permanent criticism. Such an inadequate self-esteem for the time being, the fruits may be fruitful: sometimes those surrounding, deceived by the false self-confidence, begin to believe in its uniqueness, but after some time everything becomes in its place. The true state of things opens. A self-confident position begins to annoy, since it has nothing to do with reality.

There are similar traits between true confidence and self-confident position. That is why we often confuse these two phenomena. In both cases, a person is not afraid to talk about himself, its merits, natural dating. A person does not hesitate to give himself a high grade, seeks to demonstrate its own achievements. The difference of a self-confident person from confident in herself is that the latter has an adequate self-esteem - he knows the price and knows about his advantages and disadvantages, he speaks confident about himself, but for his words there are always real affairs. Heavy self-esteem is often a brake personality development. So, a person confident in his own uniqueness can stop working on himself, can refuse painstaking daily work on self-improvement. He should refuse unreasonable ambitions and start working on himself, in this case he will have a chance for a big future.

In essence, excessive self-confidence is the dangerous feeling that can lead to disappointment in itself and in their abilities. Just imagine: a person who lived with a sense of his own uniqueness for a long time, goes into real life and faces the fact that no one notices his uniqueness. In such a situation, a person may dive for a long time in depression. Before developing self-confidence, you need to correctly appreciate yourself, your own strength, your abilities. If it seems to you that you are not able to appreciate yourself objectively, then you should seek help from your expert in your talent, gift or skill so that you have an adequate picture of your personality. It is important to know the price - so that no one can immediately undress it.

Rule number 2.
Confidence and arrogance - two things incomplete

There is an opinion that self-confidence is akin to the ability to get what you want. This is a kind of talent to achieve the goal, regardless of the circumstances in which you find yourself, and regardless of the difficulties that come across. This is definitely an important indicator, An important component of confidence, but sometimes the desire to get the desired turns out to be so powerful that it overlaps the ability to keep himself in his hands. Then confidence is transformed into arrogance.

Hepacity is sometimes perceived as a similarity of confidence. These phenomena have both similarities and differences. The similarity is primarily in the ability to achieve their own. And the difference is in what methods, means and personal qualities a person reaches this. Confident man acts directly. He uses his knowledge, skills and abilities in order to achieve the goal. A person who has internal confidence can retreat from the planned plan if it felt that the main prize was not on the teeth. Of course, the retreat shakes his confidence, but it will be only a temporary phenomenon, and gradually the level of his confidence will be again within the normal range.

There is such a national expression: "arrogance - the second happiness." She helps a person to seek the desired by anything. And this is its main difference from confidence. A brazed, rude, daring man can venture on receiving what he does not belong to what he can, and does not deserve. The arrogance can set themselves unreal, inadequate goals and, despite everything, but to achieve them. The arrogance often uses incorrect, unethical, even immoral methods. The arrogance is capable of take the goal assault. If the goal is impregnable, arrogance does not retreat, it continues to storm the gate of an impregnable fortress, and the fortress, as a rule, gives up.

We often take a huge person for confident. However, these are phenomena of different kinds. If confidence is the quality that helps to cope with difficulties and seek the desired thanks to a clear life position, then the arrogance in contrast to her seek the long and painstaking path and walk to the goal of the shortest but not the most ethical way. For example, a person confident is to enhance the service, initiative and good results of work, and the arrogant person will go to his new position, discrediting its employees in the eyes of the authorities. It is believed that the arrogance is capable of achieving its in any case. This is not true. Even the most brazening of the protracks may face insurmountable obstacles in the form of repraining to their own onslaught. So choose you - a light, but dubious path, on which the insoles are going, or a solid and conscientious road of confident work on themselves.

Rule number 3.
Do not confidence confidence with snobbery

Snobism and self-confidence are the opposite phenomena. However, often we compare one with the other and find some features of similarities. In general, these two positions are - and the snob, and a person confident has a strong charisma, which is able to attract the attention of others. But this is perhaps the only similarity.

Snobism - a phenomenon born by the social and legal inequality of past centuries, it would seem to leave our reality long ago. But no. In our time, snobbery was transformed, modified, but remained one of the unattractive forms of expression of attitudes towards people. In essence, snobbery is a manifestation of hostility to those who do not correspond to certain parameters, criteria, erected in the cult. These criteria can be material well-being, intellectual development, creative potential and the like. The main signs of snobsma are unwillingness to communicate with people who do not meet the specified parameters, negligent, sometimes condescending and derogatory attitude towards people are not a circle.

Of course, a person who is prone to snobsm, may have the qualities itself, thanks to which it is distinguished from the total mass. These qualities, achievements - the result of a long, stubborn work on themselves. The person who was able to change, make his personality unusual, of course, possesses an extraordinary power of will. But here is the question - where does his desire come from being better? Is the main reason for internal uncertainty?

Yes, perhaps, the whole thing in this. A person is comfortable to communicate with people from his circle, which he knows everything that is understandable to him. Other riddles for him: His motives are not clear, life values \u200b\u200band installations, he believes that their worldview can shake his confidence (more precisely, the visibility of self-confidence, which he created). Snobism and self-confidence - fruits from different fields, although the external form of behavior of people of both types is calm, restraint, external proudness - makes these two phenomena extremely similar.

Do not perceive the snob as a person confident. In essence, this is a weak type of personality, which is comfortable hid behind the mask of neglect and hostility towards others. Do not perceive it too seriously. I do not think that you will be able to drive a snob. Having learned that you know His secret, he will try to reduce your communication to a minimum or to stop it at all. A much more efficient way to communicate with such a type of people is the appearance of recognition of its uniqueness, as well as maintaining the illusion of the correctness of its behavior manner.

Rule number 4.
To gain confidence, you need to stop being an egoist

It is unlikely to explain the value of the egoism phenomenon. I think each of us at least once in my life I reproached the reproach in my own egoism or felt the taste of guilt from the fact that he cares about himself much more than about others. In essence, in small doses, egoism is even useful for a person. It is quite normal if you are striving for the acquisition of spiritual and material benefits that will make your life better. But the situation is exacerbated when egoism is from reasonable turning into limitless.

About egoism, exceeding the critical rate, it is worth saying when a person begins to measure the world around himself exclusively by his own interests. For him, there is only that part of the universe that is turned in his direction. He communicates only with those people in which he sees practical benefits, he comes up as it is advantageous to him without thinking about what the consequences of his actions for others will be. In essence, he does not care what they think about him, because he feels limitless, infinite power.

Such a selfish position at first works. A person reaps the fruits of his confidence that the world should spin around him. His friends, close, relatives take part in his life, seek to help him. But gradually, their altruism fades, because in return for their disinterested help they do not get anything. The egoist continues to use the surrounding people in his own interests, but it turns out to be gratitude. Gradually, the circle of his friends and acquaintances narrows, selfishness loses its former strength, ceases to bear fruit - and the person from successful and all beloved turns into an abandoned and forgotten.

Similarity with confidence, selfishness has at first, when the Egoist manages to take the most valuable from life, without giving anything in return. At such a period, the Egoist is confidently in life. Externally, he may seem like a person with internal confidence. However, the similarity ends when a selfish person turns out to be alone and his former friends who realized the meaning of his behavior, tearing relationships with him. True confidence and selfishness is not identical to each other. Confidence is characterized by the presence of a solid rod: a person confident does not use this quality in selfish purposes. He seeks his goals on his own, while he does not need to use his environment for mercenary purposes. In addition, an important difference in real self-love selfish position is the fact that confidence is unshakable, it is able to withstand serious trials of fate. A selfish position over time either turns a person in lonely and embittered, or gives experience and helps him change for the better.

Rule number 5.
True confidence and nihilistic position do not have anything in common with each other

Nihilism is a conditional name for a whole complex of psychological and characteristic features that some people possess. This complex includes the presence of a denial syndrome, mainly a pessimistic approach to life, confidence in future failures.

Nihilists prefer to deny, scold, stay in a bad mood, rather than giving the world positive emotions. For them, this method of self-expression is the most acceptable. For some of them, this is a way to stand out from the total mass of positively thinking people. For others, the way to protect against the negativeness of others, from the troubles that happen in life. Such people can quickly spoil your mood. Externally, they look quite confident in themselves. It seems that they are forever know what should happen, and foresee the outcome in advance. The main difference from true self-confidence is that the outcome that these people predict, as a rule, has negative consequences. What is the case? Where is the key to the unshakable position of nihilism?

Obviously, it is much easier to get a negative result than positive, to do something badly easier than achieving outstanding results. That is the unfortunate of this psychological mystery. You do not need to be Nostradamus to predict the unsuccessful outcome of your own interview. If you yourself do not believe in your success, then why should this success believe the employer? No need to possess some extraordinary abilities to predict failure in your personal life if you do not apply any effort to establish this life. Everything is simple. If you do nothing - nothing will happen. In such a situation, hope for success is at least stupid. Here are skeptics and nihilists and do not hope and in one voice continue to doubt and deny. After all, it's easier to agree. It is much easier to deny, than to say, it is much easier to doubt what to hope.

But at the same time, nihilists have an undoubted advantage over other people: they know about their failure in advance, thereby justifying their own inaction. Such a reception of failure often use lazy and slow personities. As a result, they still find their niche in society in which they quite comfortably exist. But here it has nothing to do with confidence.

Rule number 6.
Modesty - a wonderful base for self-confidence

In the modern world there has been a negative attitude to modesty. It is perceived as antipod of confidence. Experienced people claim: you want to achieve your own - do not be a modest, do not wait for your o'clock, the decisions about yourself and become those whom you want.

In previous times it was believed that the more modest and the girl, the more desirable. In our time, the tastes of men have changed, and they are glad to look at the challenges and wayward young lady, and the modests are sitting alone in anticipation of their o'clock. So really there is no place of modesty and, if you are modest and delicate, you are destined to stay not at the work?

Let's figure out what modesty is in the true meaning of this word. Modesty is primarily the lack of boastfulness, having a sense of measure in everything, including in desires. A humble person will never throw his merit and protrude its own Ya. It is worth noting that it does not make it and a confident person - he knows about his advantages, and therefore he is completely without need to emphasize their attention on them. The modesty in this case implies the moderation of desires - that is, the desires of a modest person always coincide with its capabilities and needs. He does not ask for too much, and it is also not shy to take as much as he deserved.

How to increase self-esteem man? We will tell about this in our article. It is no secret that understated self-esteem often becomes caused by many problems. Therefore, it is often referred to. If we talk about men, in their case, insecurity in your abilities prevents serious steps in his career, prevents you open, for example, your business, to achieve your favorite ladies and just be successful and famous.

there is interesting factthat self-esteem in men is much higher than that of women.

There is a study of London scientists on this topic. British psychologists on a special scale tested more than two thousand people of both sexes from different countries The world and found that male representatives tend to think about themselves much better than the representatives of female. This does not mean that the first overestimate their capabilities. Just women tend to feel incomplete much more.

Psychologists are confident that with such a problem, as an underestimated self-esteem, you can also fight. Just how to do it? How to increase self-esteem and confidence man? There are many effective ways to overcome uncertainty. The most popular them most often include sports and interesting hobbies.

Sometimes uncertainty appears due to the fact that the man feels not quite attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex. Sports classes will not only allow the head, forgetting for the time about workers and household problems, but also make their own body more athletic, as well as recharged energy and positive.

Interesting hobbies are also favorable for self-esteem. Since a person can thus discover a new lesson in which it is possible, and there is a vocation of his life. Some recommend starting to engage in charity or simply make good actions.

Beautiful things

It also has the opinion that if you surround yourself with beautiful and expensive things, follow the style, wearing fashionable clothes and shoes, make a fashionable hairstyle, it will give confidence.

How to increase self-esteem a man undoubtedly know psychologists. Therefore, if there is not enough forces in the struggle for self-sufficiency, then you can start visiting trainings to enhance it or seek help from a specialist directly.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem man? Psychologists are confident that in order to love themselves, no reasons are needed. It is necessary to accept yourself as you are. After all, every personality is self-sufficient, and this fact must be adopted as axiom. But sometimes it is not so easy to do. There are several recommendations that will help cope with their fears and take themselves with all the shortcomings.

First, psychologists advise to refuse comparison with others. Since it greatly undermines the feeling of self-sufficiency. So, for example, a person looks at his more successful colleague on work, which is faster along the career staircase and is also popular with the beautiful floor, and compares it with him. From this mapping, he, of course, comes out of losers. Because of what it is frustrated, falls into the despondency and cannot accept himself.

It should be understood that a person cannot live life for someone else, be it a more successful colleague or neighbor. The best thing you can do is be yourself. And the only thing that is permissible is the comparison of myself past and today's.

Secondly, scientists urge more often to leave the comfort zone. This will allow you to reveal the abilities and talents, which a person did not even guess.

Thirdly, you need to refuse to condemn other people and their actions. Since it imposes restrictions on its own line of behavior. Anyone may be in the same situation that he recently condemned. And get out of it under the press of our own prejudices will be much more complicated.

Fourth, it is impossible to be too patient. If there is something that does not suit, it is sometimes easier to simply accept something to change something for the better. Nevertheless, psychologists call for active actions: it is necessary to strive for the best and most of them to create their own happiness.

The following advice directly follows from the previous one. You need to encourage yourself for achieved goals. And you can delight yourself in different ways, the main thing is that it brings positive emotions. After all, this way a person enshrines in his mind that the achievement of the goal is pleasantly doubly. And in the future, more forces and energy appear on the embodiment of new ideas.

Well, finally, psychologists recommend limiting their communication with noving and ever complaining about people, not to be a vest, in which you can always cry. After all, when a person constantly complains about life, he has already humbled with his problems, to decide which does not plan, but simply shifts his negative emotions on others. Having heard constantly whining, a man is infected with pessimism. Therefore, only strong and positive personalities should be input into its circle of communication.

How to enhance a man's self-esteem?

An indisputable fact is that love is creating wonders. The guy in love is ready to minimize the mountains for his heart ladies. It is not surprising that women should know how to improve their self-esteem.

The first and most important thing girls can make, so that the guy felt more confident, it is to praise. The main thing is that Praise is sincere and moderately. It charges the strong floor of the energy and inspires new feats.

The third rule for the ladies is to ask for help. After all, even the smallest request that a man will perform will allow him to feel like a knight.

Thus, love is and remains one of the most efficient ways to increase male self-esteem.

How to increase your self-esteem in the eyes of a man? Well, when love works in both ends. But if suddenly, on the one hand, it begins to weaken, it can be refreamed and thereby get rid of insecurity.

When a girl feels that her value in the eyes of his chosen one falls, she can win high attention from other men. Interest from the opposite sex at its address will cause if not burning jealousy from the separator, then at least his discontent. And the fact that the girl is attractive in the eyes of other men, sharply increases its value and in the eyes of her partner. He understands what he did right when he made a choice in her favor.

Films

What are the films that increase the self-esteem of a man? Can a movie help to cope with the problem of insecurity? Scientists respond to this question affirmatively.

It is known that there are special motivating video, whose task is to change the worldview, make thinking positively and thereby awaken the desire to move forward. But what if you turn to them, and to artistic films? What movie to choose?

In this case, you need to sharpen your attention in the pictures where the main character initially insecure in itself, copes with his fears, is aware that he is capable of much and comes out the winner of difficult situations. Moreover, it may be a film of any genre and country of production.

A good example of such a movie is the Hollywood picture "Always say yes" "with Jim Kerry in the lead role. It tells her the story of a young man who has changed his life cool when it was opened with everything new. This film does not just give a positive charge, but also set up on the path of self-development.

More examples of such films: "1 + 1", "Green Mile", "Escape from Showshn", "First after God", etc.

Conclusion

Now you know how to increase the self-esteem of a man. We reviewed different methods. We hope that our recommendations will help you solve the problem.