What attracts young creatures to the seminar temples? Naive romanticism or eternal female addiction to men in shape? Obviously, the illusion is played here. Many the role of the priest's wife is seen as carefree fit on laurels in the rays of Sofita. Selected, of course, will serve on the metropolitan parish, but not at a hundred first kilometer, in a blind village, where the oven is the only source of heat. The fact that the priest is a soldier: where will be sent, there and go - no one thinks.

If you spend a survey among the scammer's pests: "Did you know what you go?" Or "would you go to it again?" - I wonder if there will be many positive answers? ..

But external difficulties are just one side of the medal. Few of the young "Hubeeme" understands that the words of the Apostle Peter about the "the innermost heart of a man in the imperishable beauty of the meek and silent spirit" (1 Pet. 3, 4) will become the cornerstone of the whole life of the future mother. And differently - in no way. Mother people are important not toy, not shared, but real. She does not preach about the Savior, but embodies his preaching in his life, does not teach the truths of the Gospel, but these truths approves with their actions.

In the description of a virtuous wife, made by Solomon in the Old Testament, where everything apparently was a stench, briefly stated everything that can be said on this topic: A good wife who will find is the price of her above the pearls. The heart of her husband hopes her, and does not remain without remuneration. She pays him good, and not evil in all the days of his life of his ... he wants to defeat his garden and acquires him; Hands with a seizure of the vineyard. Understanding that her work is profitable, at night does not quit his lamp. It gets up before all and feeds their homework. DLAIN opens his poor, and his hands extends to a beggar. Not afraid of winter for his home, because everyone has her home warm clothing. She was suspected rich carpets. Her husband is easy to distinguish with clean, good clothes. It is durable and gorgeous clothes herself; With a smile, she meets the coming day. Its mouth opens with wisdom, and krotko is instructed in her tongue. Carefully looks behind the progress of affairs in the house and bread does not eat at idleness. The children get up and caress her, her husband gets up and praises her. There are many good women, but you have surpassed them all. Deceptively congregation, insignificant beauty, and wife, afraid of the Lord, worthy of praise. Give her from the fruits of her hands and affairs and they will glorify it (Proverb. 31, 10-31).

The priest is constantly on the front line, and it is a little glance, as an enemy bullet will make his job. Mother mainly lives in the dugout, and Nobody doesn't mind, that and her teeth creaks the trench dust, her life and the life of her children also under the sniper sight of the enemy. But if she selflessly creates an atmosphere of comfort and peace in the house, then we can say that her fighter behind the back of the rear.

One elderly nuns of the Pokrovsky monastery somehow said: "What? Head itself, just for himself and answer before God, and the Mother's Cross in a hundred times heavier than mine. At its conscience, the soul of all those people who could not console her father because of their family tribulations. " Mother - like akton: what tone in the morning will ask the father, so the day and will pass. Sometimes one dissatisfied person's expression is enough to spoil the mood for the whole day. Moreover, as you know, live with his wife grumpy more unhappy than in the desert or on the roof (Proverb. 21, 19; 25, 24). And the priest, as anyone, needs a poor spirit of the spirit to generously give the joy of the Lord to all coming to him.

As often, coming to the church, people think that the father and his family are a special race, "superhighs", they cannot have the right to have human weaknesses and sins. And therefore, literally everything is clothing, hairstyle, gait, every word - are constantly exposed to a close, not always benevolent, analysis. And if the stars of the television screens of glory heats, then the mother dreams to go down the street calmly and not hear the moves behind his back.

As a rule, the family of the priest sees her chapter less often than his flock. Matushka wants supports, help, and she is the last in line for her. And how are you needed and warm word, and tenderness from the side of the father to fill her work, let it feel that it needs and love. Not to do without visible signs of attention: the ohaper roses, a touching gift, a trip to the cinema - any woman will be glad. No need to forget that Mother - also the "vessel is unrefected", and not an affordable creature. Mutual trust should be a strong foundation of marriage, because not only ninety old women come to the priest for help, and young, beautiful women. And the affected word in support of such a spiritual daughter on the background of yesterday's quarrel with her mother can be a bomb in the Arsenal of the enemy.

In concerns about salvation parishioners, the father almost lacks spiritual forces on their children. And life goes, and the clock arrows inexorably make their circle. Often you can hear complaints about the priestly sons, which, from childhood in the altar, and do not have elementary skills of spiritual life. And this is also pain Mother ... But, like any mother, alone raising their children. Therefore, the wise is the shepherd, which in time extinguishes the fire not only from the neighbors, but also on his personal site.

And the last, the most burning question that interests our brides: is it possible between the father and mother in love, ordinary human love is possible? Or is it just cooperation with common goals and interests?

In the family of the priest "work" the same laws as in any other family. Love is always, in all its manifestations, becomes a lifeful force of marriage. Year after year, she inhales a new life into the daily and events of the relationship of her husband and wife. And when the minutes of despair are in search of mutual understanding - where, where it seems, nothing can resurrect feelings from the ruins, the role of the rescue circle is playing the role of a rescue circle.

So really the cross of the Mother consists of only difficulties and misunderstanding everyday life? Is there no chance of happiness from a girl who dreams of becoming a companion of the seminar life? I want to believe and hope that, being an accomplice of the great works of the priest, she will also become an accomplice and his great awards. Leaving the altar, he descends from the sky, and the resulting grace is abundantly poured on his sconcelator of eternal life (1 Pet. 1; 3, 7). And if she takes his place of assistant, and not the first violin, he will see the "prosperity of Jerusalem" (Ps. 127, 5) and in this life, and in the future.

I went to the second decade of our years with a father of living together. Never imagine could not be that the Lord will give me this cross and say: "Go and carry!" I spent my entire conscious life before marriage in a bohemian atmosphere, where all the forces were spent on the creation of only our own "I". Mother's life teaches me to distribute himself all, without a rest, his loved ones. I remember with a smile, as my husband, and then the bridegroom, was afraid to marry me. "You will not go to me for me and you will not give birth to children!" - He repeated me, yes, I did not hurry to persuade him, as I completely agreed with him. But God's fishery determined everything otherwise - serves my father in the village, and our children - eight. Thank God! There were also storms, and storms, but solar days are always remembered. We do not get tired to explain to each other in love, and I feel every day that I am "bone from his bones, and flesh from the flesh ..."

- I always wanted to live with God, being closer to the church. And what became Mother - this is a reward from God. I even think sometimes, for what I have such happiness?! - tells Mother Valentine. - And did not dreamed that it could happen. I wanted my husband to be a good man and a musician, and to believe, of course. And it happened that everything together was united.

"How we will walk away with you - we do not know each other?!"

Mother Valentina Davidovskaya - from the family of believer, church and very musical. Even with the Soviet power of the tradition orthodox marriage Transmitted in their clan from generation to generation, everyone was weddings and tried to live according to the laws of God. Parents themselves went to the temple, and the children talked to life with God. And I set the love of music and in particular to singing duet - I liked Valentine very much, as her parents sang together.

The family lived in the old town of Polonny Khmelnitsky region, where the population is a little more than 20 thousand people. And her future husband's husband Valya saw at the 11th age at the wedding from relatives - he was the son of a local priest, a 16-year-old young man, a student of a musical school. This father once walked her parents.

And in nine years, Agafangel Davidovsky called Valentina Marry.

- We have never been with him alone, only with parents somewhere visited. Even in the cinema did not go together.

Of course, we were drawn to each other, we felt a lot in common, but one thing is to just talk, and another thing is to live together all my life.

19-year-old Valentine was then a student of the Khmelnitsky Muse, an excellent and activist. Studying and comprehending the profession took almost all the time of the girl, and one did not think about marriage in the near future. Therefore, I could not answer the offer either "yes" nor "no".

"How we will walk away with you - we do not know each other?!" - the girl argued her indecision. "I love music and travel," the future priest spoke about himself. "I also love music, only I like to sit at home," his future wife said in response.

"And that's all we knew about each other," said Mother Valentine.

But it turned out that before the wedding remained a little more than a month. And a month later, the priestly chaironia of Father Agafangel was held with a small.

"Are you a Komsomolka? How could you marry him?! "

- Was it difficult to enter the family of the priest and adapt to the status of the mother?

- No, not difficult and not hard. And I did not feel some special difference. Of course, they went to church more and knew more, but my parents were church people - we lived in the same. And I understood that I would be under the closure approach - at that time, the priest did not even go to the cinema. If I went - this is something. And in the pants Mother did not go - more modestly should behave. But I was modest - in the movie, of course, went, and the trousers did not wear it, I did not use cosmetics and did not dress somehow especially. Therefore, the role of the Mother did not require a refusal from me, some of the victims.

The difficulties were in the other. In the Museum was not delighted with a new, religious status of one of the best female students. From the posts of the headman and the commero, the girl quietly "removed", but they could not learn to prevent. In the educational institution of Soviet times they were afraid of a handsome announcement of a blatant fact that their student became the wife of a priest. One teacher somehow warned Valentine: "came, were interested in you. So, when will ask, know what you answer. "

The school managed to finish, but to get a job in the specialty Mother Valentine could not. A daughter of Christina was born in the last year, and in the distribution, the graduate was denied the pretext that she had a child up to a year. True, the issue of employment of the young mother supervised the Commissioner for Religion.

"I thought we had freedom of conscience, and they had no right to prohibit me to work," says Mother Valentine. - I went to the district party and I say that I do not take me to work. And they me: "Are you a Komsomolka? How could you marry him?! " I say that in love. What party workers categorically said: "At one time, people sacrificed and love!" And then there was such a rule that the children of the priest could work in a music school, and his wife - no.

Mother showed perseverance and wrote to Moscow, to the Council for Religious Affairs at the Council of Ministers of the USSR - they say, oppress and do not work. He said, she got her book "Religion and the Law", where he read that people restore their rights.

The letter of the young wife of the priest was left unattended, from the region to the Polonny, the Commissioner came, called in the city council and said:

"These comrades, of course, are wrong. Krupskaya, too, for Lenin went to the link. " - "So can you work?" - asked the certified specialist. "Yes, yes, of course, you can. But there are no places. "

- That's how it ended, everything was not given to me. I have already implemented my children, "says Mother Valentina Davidovskaya.

"Being Mother - Natural Fabric of My Life"

- What qualities do you need a woman to become a good mother?

- First of all, faith, of course. Modesty, mercy, ability to give up and not to look for their "I", be able to cover everything and smooth. You need to find good words for people, do not strive to master and manage.

When they say that the husband is head, and the wife is the neck, it is wrong.

Once, in the pre-revolutionary book, I read what qualities Mother should have. And it said that the husband is head, and the wife is a body. Because the head thinks that the body is warm, not hungry and not cold. And the body must be responsible for saving all this. I never wanted to be the main thing in our family.

And at arrival never sought to be the organizer. I give it to the fly - in his hands. And I always try to help him - to put my shoulder. He herself on the parish with children in the Sunday School, I sing in the choir - I really like this very much. All responsibilities are distributed. We always clean the Christmas tree with a Christmas tree. I can tell, advise, say, how would I like. But so that only in my opinion will be - we do not have this.

- What to do Mother, if the father does not have any strength or the time for the family?

- Meekness and humility is the road to the church. When the father comes tired, what will I talk to him about children and other things?! I always took it on myself. But I like it, and not at all in a burden. I can not say that I once suffered from the fact that the father had little time on the family. Yes, there is little - he is the priest. Of course, maybe I would like more, but I do not think that this is the basis for creating additional difficulties.

We have never divided family responsibilities for women and men - we try to help each other, and everything is somehow organically. And if you bring up children correctly, they will become a reward for your patience and humility, for forgetting themselves.

The eldest daughter was eight years old when she went to the first class of music school, her son - four years old, and the younger daughter - a month. I put in a carriage of one child from above, another - from the bottom, a daughter by hand, and so I drove them all on some classes, to others. Of course, it was hard for a little bit, because we hurry, and herself, herself ... And then the quietly was improved, and there the children were grown. For the third child, we can say, grew up in a music school - I fed it there, until the older waited.

And the father is all the time in the service. He could not even come to the first of September when her daughter was in the first class. But I did not make some kind of problem from this. Yet it is clear, so herself coped to somehow.

- What can you advise girls who are going to become wives of priests?

- You need to love a person who will become your husband. It applies to all women. Then you can understand why much happens. And it will not be scary that you cannot help or be near. And the stumbling block will not become a stone that much has to do. And when you love, then you cover everything, we carry everything - as the Apostle Paul says. If you fulfill everything he said about love, then much becomes understandable and will not be a problem.

Such love exists on earth and often. For me, his words are very clear. And if people wondered more about it, the relationship would be better.

Although now I have changed the meaning of love. Even 30 years ago, people were less selfish.

Married once and forever, but was rarely walked by faith. And even if they lived badly, the women said: "How I will be interpreted - I am a weddish?!"

Women should understand, and Mother in the families of priests, too, that they are not at the head of the family. Yes, a husband must respect his wife, but she needs to be able to give up. If one else is inferior, it will never be some serious conflicts, and always a husband with his wife will find a common language among themselves. And when everyone wants to prove his own, then, of course, it can find a braid on a stone.

And often Matushka must be able to work out, because the duties of the wife of the priest always a lot.

The letter came addressed to a greater extent not to priests, but their wives - Mother:
"I do not know if there are articles on the journal on the topic like this:" I want to be Mother ", equipped with advice and recommendations of those young women who have become. And the recommendations of the clergymen who chose them. If not, it would be nice to appear something on this topic. "

We asked to answer him several Mothers. Today we publish the response of the Mother Anna Romashko - the spouses of the priest and the mother of eight children.

As it would be perfectly opening a book like "home-based" or even a kind of "rods", in which it would be written in detail the climb of the wife of a priest to the tops of a safe life with detailed recommendations, visual illustrations and the list of qualities necessary for this, in possible applicants. Or like a grazing, where the feats of Mother, especially those who pleased God, their teachings are set out in short and gracious stories.

There are no such books. And no accident. Brief, at first glance, the initiative of the girl becomes "Mother" is dangerous, and the lady, who wants to become a wife of a priest, in my understanding, is neither more than one of the incarnations of the popular awkwardness, which, unlike a real good-natured-humble character, It is necessary to become depressive and eternally dissatisfied stains.

Let's explain. If briefly, it is better to rephrase this your desire. Let it sound like this: "I can become a matushka." And then - Lord, your holy will. I want to become a real Christian, I want to store cleanliness, I want to be an assistant to the future shepherd, ready to help him anywhere (even in a deaf village), give birth to all the children who give God, and see the meaning of life to achieve righteous lives, surround love His loved ones, be modest, patient ...

In a word, Lord, help me become your lamb, and then - as you want, let it be.

In life, of course, everything is different, - the reader will objected me. From the side of the life of the priestly wives may look very cozy. Yes, it happens, dear readers that the family of the priest has some material benefits. Even causing someone envy.

But we cannot judge, because we do not know the circumstances of life. One mother condemns that she traveled everything around ... And she lost a long-awaited child during pregnancy, almost went crazy from grief ... The parishioners of the temple decided to send Mother to the Holy Land in pilgrimage. And the one that goes on an expensive car - she has a church elder, by the way, oligarch. Not only built the temple, but it supplied it with cars, arrogant.

And in full diabetes - since childhood.

And, again, these are external things. And the inner life of the priestly wing of the knowledge is one God and to close people! According to my observations, people change: each of us is very difficult. And no external coin will do the soul from suffering and pain.

My spouse, the priest Andrei, for five years was the confessor of the gymnasium in the name of SVV. Kirill and Methodius of Novosibirsk, and, chatting with children, has repeatedly come across unrealistic ideas about the life of priesthood families. To stereotypes disappeared, the father occurred to appeal to high school students who were joking themselves "HBM" - "I want to be Mother" - with a proposal to create a club in which you could talk to me in the circle of our family, to ask questions together time.

The club existed only two years due to the difficult course of my sixth pregnancy, but, it seems to me, our chatting with the girls was a wonderful and memorable.

Here are the thoughts that we recorded after one of the club meetings, and which we have repeatedly discussed:

Mother's privilege is a myth.

The future spouse of the priest undertakes to keep himself clean to enjoy the Major Verine, which patronizes the ministry of the mother.

Mother in the church is, in essence, Miryanka, the same as the other hallings of the temple. Her rights and obligations - in front of the house and husband, before God and the Church are quite ordinary for married Orthodox Christian.

The status of the Mother obliges to keep love for people and not to use their position in the temple - it is a bad tone. There is nothing worse than the "Mother of Prisons".

Church penny House will burn - this proverb is very angry! Mother cares about the righteousness of her husband, in no way pushing it to the vulgar money to earn money on the shrine.

Mother - all servant. She serves the one who serves God. Consequently, nothing has nothing: neither his personal husband, he is the heritage of the church, nor personal time - it's all a priori church, nor personal cases - they are all in front of the people and God are transparent. Publicity Mother, the transparency of her life is glory to her husband.

The fairy tale is when the husband and wife live a church life. As soon as the world is thrown into the life of the Orthodox family, his temptations, the cracks begin - jealousy, resentment, quarrels.

Future Mother before marriage is needed independent of the future husband in Christ. If her husband drags him in turns into the church, then he also drags her in marriage, then everything will end sadly. The load is too heavy, he needs support for a believer wife. The future Mother should first seek Christ, and then - a husband.

The future mother need to be ready for the fact that she will live on alms - voluntary donations of the parishioners. And the answer for how she spends this money, she will have to keep before God even during his earthly life.

Mother is a source of kindness and nobility.

Mother - prayer.

Mother - the one who considers himself unworthy to be Mother.

In conclusion, returning to comparing Mother with a popular waist, I want to clarify that you have to wait all the time. The priest is not a manual lion, not home. And if there is no understanding that he is God, first of all, the parish, and then ... in the tenth of the place - family, then you can from all worries, from imaginary solitude, from constant, who have already stuck out of independence and dissolve that it will be ... FURY, not mother. Or an unfortunate woman who could not want to find himself in the church or his personal god.

Mother Mother?

In our "SuSipusky" vigorous Orthodox tradition, where the priest is called a father (decreasing from his father), the wife of the father, respectively, is called the Mother. Such a mindless folk linear extrapolation. Imagine a father, year to 22, and "Mother", 18 years old who are so called people on arrival, which are 2-3 who are 2-3 years old, or even 4 times. But now is not about. If the priests at least somehow perform the functions of the sheer, then their wives, the maximum, lead a chorus, and if there is no hearing, they can be a psaller, or at all, do not treat the temple, "escape by Chador Cador", and is undiastly engaged in children and her husband. Those, no matter how the word "Mother" is not applicable.

More or less justified by matushki called the spiritually the most advanced sisters in women's monasteries, which can perform mentors for less experienced sisters and even the worldly parishioners of the monastery temple. And then, in my humble opinion, the sisters themselves are not helpful to emphasize their advanced spiritual status, even need. It may be quietly extolled when the councils will be less and less signals from God and more and more human rational, and even passionate considerations. As the advice of some "mother" not to buy the goods on which medium is written (the average quality characteristic of some differentiated goods), to consider all those who accepted the Satan sign (although the same people sacrifice the monastery anymore) or vote for Yanukovych because he traveled on Athos for the blessing.

And if it is inappropriate to contact the nuns, then, the more should not be done in relation to the wife of the priest. And it does not matter, 18 years old, or 72. Especially if you remember the appeal of Paul not to get involved in the title "Father" in relation to mentors in communities. That is, the very appeal to the priests "Batyushka" or "Father" is already contrary to the traditions of apostolic Christianity. And Mother - the dimension in the square, for wives no side to the shepherd at Orthodox parishes do not belong. Women clerics are found only in Protestants and non-normatants.

How are the "matus"

The most direct road to Mother - from iconographic and regent schools, adjacent to spiritual seminaries and academies. Camping in the temple in which seminarists pray are singing and reading seminars with academicians, also contribute to marriage with the future priest. For some maidens, this is an end in itself.

But not only pushing girls in marriage without love. A tough binding in the parenting education of a girl to marriage, and objective or subjective (at short) low self-esteem of its appearance and sexuality, can also push the girl marriage for just a good guy. I thought that fear would not get married in the European country in the 21st century should go to no. But in the Orthodox environment, it is clearly cultivated, which gives additional trumps into the hands of seminarists when choosing a nurse of their children, free servants and repayment tools. Cynically, but this nuance when choosing a mother can take place.

I will tell me that I thickening paints, and that there are many sacred marriages for love, and quite happy. I know this, but today it took to write about problems, for a happy marriage should be rejoiced, and the unfortunate is not allowed. Therefore, I want to draw conclusions from my own observations that not all girls from regent and icon-painted schools in practice know what unhappy marriage without love in the status of Mother. Not all of them represent what it means to be a matushka, if wealth will turn out to be radically lower than the expectations, and at the conclusion of marriage there were no feelings.

And it sometimes happens. And this is due to the fact that, contrary to the instructions of the Apostle Paul, in Deacon and the Presbyters, they do not have kindly proven families of the familymen, and often, only the married young people (although even the rules of the Orthodox Church are prohibited to handraffer in the presbyters before 30 years). Cases of decay of marriages of parish priests I know. And the priest remains or a forced celibacy, to which he is clearly not ready, or leaving the ministry. But if only well-established family men were taken on the presbyters, then the problem would not stand at all.

The reasons for the decays or situations when under the same roof, settling the circumstances and common children, live with their teeth, live people, a lot. And, mostly, they were born by the system and Slavic curve, the tradition of "extinguishable-wonders."

Why is that? In the Orthodox tradition of the Slavic-Asian "spill" it is believed to marry and get married, and sometimes necessary, without love to each other. Popular statistics helpfully fit, that such marriage for the calculation, sometimes with filing and on the blessing of parents, are more durable. I will not argue much. In societies, where the abandoned woman is amazing and damage, she will endure that in the context of real equality and freedom of self-realization, she would not endure. The fact that marriage was saved to death could not be evidence of its quality. Treasses were, ill-treatment and indifference - too. And formally, yes, the children were, and joint exits for external, too. But the fact that such a marriage was a ruined life for a woman and misfortune for a man, statistics silent. The main thing is the external picture and lack of divorce.

And so, this statisticians, adult Orthodox unages and aunt applied to the temple of young people under the guise of an ancient pious tradition. And the youth with widely open eyes and ears absorbs everything, and marginalized, believing that the ancient, the better. And the most active go who is in a seminary who are in the regentic, and on the wave of uncomfortable religious rigorism takes the media and fateful solutions for themselves in terms of creating a family.

If everyone had to handqued only after 30 years, then the minimum half would refuse the ordination at all, realizing that it was immature gust. And I would choose myself to my wife (and my husband) is completely different for other reasons, like all normal people, in love. Some lucky, and they get married, after mutual in love and sufficient courtship period. But I'm about another common phenomenon, which leads to problematic and unhappy marriages, or even divorces.

In seminary (he studied in MDS himself) Fathers in private conversations, and sometimes for illustration directly at lectures, as well as senior courses, wipe the brains of young people that the wife does not have to be beautiful, but should be humble. And the people begins to be treated, checking the poor girl who liked the poor girl to be ready to delete some nonsense. Not everyone do, but I listened to such stories above the roof. From the very nearest environment there were people who were shared by similar "tests." And believe me, if someone did it, then there was no shadow of love for the girl. If you are in love, you will not invent anything artificial, rejoicing every meeting and the opportunity to be together, fearing to destroy your happiness. And when there is no love, there is nothing to lose. There is another, the same unloved. And the one that has stolen, a proposal can be made. Since not a beloved wife, but Mother, Slave, servants, a free app to the father-abbot and parish demignee, was chosen. And often they saw this model in their family (the children of the priests are quite a few in seminary), or on their arrival, where the father smokes and commands, and Mother's maturity and serving.

The offer will be done by a patient girl for a number of reasons. Sometimes they hide, for decency, sometimes openly admit to all cynicism, if they see that the girl still fell in love, and tolerates from the sacrifice, and not creaking his teeth. If you need a priest on a fashionable parish, sometimes a priest needs a priest, then you need to catch a moment. So, you need to quickly marry. "Green" girl aimed at the status of "Mother", hearing the phrase "rich parish", anticipating security and security. And it is impossible to blame her. So the females choose the male on how it can protect, and among people - according to the ability to provide. And the future "Mother" agrees, even if he feels the heart that she is not particularly loved or not like, or she herself chose the employee without love for his part.

But not only turned up "fat" the parish pushes on pumped marriages without love. This is not the worst option. Everything is much deprecated, if a person offers to marry, because he just ends with a spiritual school. His arrival at him not. It does not know how to do anything else and does not want, there is no secular specialty. And he expects that seeing his diploma and married status, the diocesan bishine will dispense it somewhere.

And here is my example of a divorced priest, which I know exactly that. Chela had ordained and sent to the village where parishioners are 10 grandmothers, demands - once a month, and you need to plow on the housework to survive. And if the father spreads his fingers, that he is a priest, and does not greatly help, and in the mother, children, pigs, chickens and a garden, then "the ATTA" is rushing.

Not so rentheh in the school painted the life of Mother. "Oil painting looks somewhere like this: Big flat In the city or highlighted house in a large village, in which Mother with kids and with voluntary free parish nyankas, such a "pillar door". The father, who constantly crosses, fans, baptizes and wear loot bags, and do not need food and buy, everything from the "Panhiks" can pick up. The dough so much that the father buys a jeep, and she is a modest Avensis or mini. For all sorts of birthdays, parishioners call the father with Mother, children - on the nan. And life is a solid holiday.

And suddenly ... half-breed housing, dirt, insects, pigs, chicks, children, no nannies, no car, lack of money, debts, humiliating financial dependence, and ... an unloved husband who breaks off and breaks, often not wanting to help at home for considerations " Not royal is a thing. " Civilization shock occurs. If there were mutual love and sacrifice, then work in two or three years would allow to normalize life and reconcile with circumstances. But when there is nothing, but only deceived expectations, hard labor and coldness in the relationship, no Orthodox rigorism saves from the collapse.

Therefore, potential mother-in-law (and father), the formula "Corrects-Watch" needs to be shoved somewhere, to a suitable place for her and with great enthusiasm. You need to marry your beloved and loving husband, and not for the status of "Mother". And he or an atheist seminarist is a secondary matter. The main quality of a person. And faith - anyway from God.

Life risks Mother

In addition to the risk, to be at the very start with monstrously deceived expectations, there are other nuances that can manifest themselves as a result of a marriage. Those who have already formed exclusively happy family couples with her husband-cleric, then you can not read. And those who can only have, or already done, but poorly, it is worth reading. I draw conclusions from the existing observations of living people who know, or personally, or through other clerics.

Risk of treason. If they married without love, but by calculation, "under the arrival" or "under the mother", then the real love for everyone is ahead. Both Mother and Batyushki, which, in the conditions of legal equality of floors, in modern civilizations, it will easily break the fragile structure "on the sand" in which there is no love. And the collapsed flow will simply wash it. And it does not even matter how many children will be by this time. This can happen in the framework of adultery, and through the real divorce. Yes, according to the power of the Spirit, people can resist temptations, but if they are what they lose, such as good relations. And if the relationship was worn, they do not appreciate them, and easily go on their layer.

Everyone knows that part of high school students and female students have a tendency to fall in love with their teachers. The same happens on arrival. My former Orthodox confessor, who, with his wife "all the ladies" (became a priest for 30 years, and married still unbelieving, according to love) told that young, and often very beautiful girls admitted to him personally in love (I mentioned these risks in the article). And believe me, not all, but part of the married without love if they break up a response feeling, and they will know the passion, the latter will demolish their sloping structure without love, or lead to grave sins of adultery and lies.

And not necessarily the temptation can occur on confession. Situations when a priest's man for a woman "flourished the tail", abound. Those., For situations of the emergence of one-sided, and then mutual misstitution, abuse. And if the heart is not engaged in his wife, it can rush to the source of love, feeling the explicit attractiveness of this mutual feeling compared to the artificial design "on the blessing".

Almost guaranteed risk of multi-way. In Orthodoxy there is a ban on the use of contraceptives. Although I always wanted me to prove the sinfulness of their use with the help of Scripture. No one happened.))) But not all the wives of the priests want many children, and not everyone can according to health. With a large number of children, a woman will not be able to pay enough time to work on himself, above his prayer, over its disadvantages.

And you do not need to hope for the phrase "Wife will be saved by Chador Cador." It does not say that Chadorody is in the number of children. On the contrary, the Holy Fathers are involved that Chadorody is, mostly not a birth, but a good education and disagreement into people. And 2-3 children can be highly withdrawn to people, without losing his sleep and rest, the joys of a full-fledged family life, if the Mother has 10-12 children. By the way, to the note of Mother, "Move and breed, and inherit the land," the Bible researchers belong to the attributes of Ezdra in the process of restoring the Bible in memory after the Babylonian captivity. In the source of these words was not. It says about the cultivation of the garden, under which many interpreters understand the soul. Those, the person must educate the love of God and people, the desire for God, to engage in mooring, and not coming around and multiply (not rabbits, we), or "escape by Chadoroi", in the sense of many hours))), only because That the father has prejudice against contraceptives.

Mother is not a cat, but a person intended for salvation. But in the priest family, this fact may be forgotten. And the young (really believer) girl should remember.

The risk of imposed hard patriarchate. Where there is no love of her husband to his wife or / and the patriarchal model of behavior, spied in his family or in the family of a marker priest, can be installed family tyranny on the principle: the wife should be all around the house, should give her husband, and I am Ieria God, a representative Christ-king on earth, and not the royal business to do homemade. In extreme cases, models from the housework can be applied, referring to the authority of the Orthodox manual and not considering explicitly other gender relations in modern conditions European type of civilization.

By the way, sometimes you build relationships with my wife, even those who seem to love their mother. But after watching the model in the family or having heard the stories in the seminary, they believe that this is exactly what you need to build relationships with your wife, which should not be on the site of the fire salve.

Risk of progressive worn. Patriarchal influence with any relations in marriage leads to an increase in the ingenust in the problems of the mother, or even children who do not concern the priest. And any attempts to attract a husband to their solution are encountered to the position "not the royal business." If it continues for many years, it is cut even the relationship, in the database of which love was. This generates systemic workers, which at best leads to the fact that the family simply functions to raise and feed the children, and in the worst case ...

Risk of hatred. And in the worst case, hatred may be born. This state is when any expected effect of the opposite side is perceived with irritation, often undisguised. In the morning she filed not the boots, which today planned to wear, then it is necessary to throw them to the side and rive: "Not those !!!" Epitrohil is remembered - "Where are your eyes watched?!" Gradually, the Mother will have a quiet sabotage, and then the position "Loss all the propagation." Because…

The risk of aimlessness and judacy of being. Because at some point in time, Mother understands that her status of a priest's wife, perhaps he never really loved her, buried a woman and man in her, buried her dignity, happiness and joy. To live for children is a vocation of a woman, so it is arranged. But her goal of her life is the same as in men, no differences: rejoice in this life, feel happiness and strive for salvation. And if it turns out that the first - was taken away, the second was trampled, and in the third they did not give the opportunity to show themselves, then on one calling in the upbringing of children you will not save the family. In the end, you can bring up children without a loving husband.

And this should be understood and the priest himself, allowing himself to worry and rudeness with his wife. Now is not the first, and not even the 19th century. Naturally, their goals and aspirations, a woman, like a man, should partially adjust the family values. This does not mean that everyone does on the principle of "what I want, then and spoil." But partial limitations of freedom of action for the sake of family should be in agreement and mutual, and not unilateral and only from the side of the woman. They must be more or less symmetrical. And free time so that both there was a parity, and family responsibilities are distributed so that everyone has time to rest, not only for night sleep.

Otherwise, fatigue will come from life with understanding that this is a consequence of abnormal family relations and the lack of love (for no sacrifice). And then any reason can lead to family collapse. For even life alone or just with children, it will look more attractive for the mother than "one together" without joy, happiness and love.

Risk of transferring their family model on children. Continuing to live in an unhappy marriage, Mother will raise children in which the models of the behavior of her family will be laid. And the negative will multiply in children, breaking their future fate. That is, she will suffer further, seeing that children repeat her fate or "break" someone in the example of her husband.

Risks are lonely and unsecured old age. This risk is not always associated with the unfortunate marriage. It is possible to lose your husband and in connection with his early death, and in connection with the divorce because of the unwillingness to live on with a person who disseminately daily, and then wipes the legs about you. And humility here is completely nothing at what. I wrote in the cycle of articles on conscience that humility should be creatures before God, and is allowed to a person of holy life, which has the fruits of the Spirit, and obedience to him, as a mentor, has spiritual meaning. But humility of human hatred, shelterness, damage to the detriment of their own human dignity is permissible when there is a hope of re-education with love. But, if there is no resistance, and the father himself does not shine faith and kindness, then humility of evil and worn, can lead to the progression of the latter, and the divorce is inevitable. And Mother, who listed all his years of life to the work of a de facto servant and a housewife of the priest, turns out to be without work and in old age.

But even if not a divorce. And the priest died in early old age, or by illness in a mature age, then this most painfully manifests itself on Mother and children, if they are still minor. The same problem is in large families, if the father of the family leaves life ahead of time (fatal disease, accident, simply, it's time). Paristers sometimes help, but this help is clearly not enough. Therefore, a completely disappointing mother-housewife must be insured with her husband's insurance (death and disability) and pension contributions to her name, which makes a priest's husband, for example, to a non-state pension fund. Why not in the state? Because if the mother itself orders to live long, then the money will remain the state, and will not leave her husband and children, as in the case of contributions to the private foundation. Ideally insure at the same time, and the father, and Mother. But not everyone has such knowledge. Unfortunately.

Laziness and sideways thinking with reluctance to predict their lives, lead to problems of families of priests in old age, if the priest cannot serve as a disease, or even died, without leaving her mother. I sometimes want to say: "Fathers! You have a mother, is often a maid and a free housekeeper, which put life on your family, although she is the same person as you. And if you die, or your marriage will break, often on your own fault, you will leave my wife without a means of existence, for it did not earn it to my retirement (do not pay the domainmen of the dosage). And if you don't care about yourself, so although the wives are insulting so that they do not depend on dependency in children. " This is a fundamentally incorrect approach to hope for children's help when you can provide old age. I already wrote about it.

By itself, the payment of pension contributions for his wife is a sign of respect for its current labor in the family, and to its financial freedom in the future, with unfavorable scenaries. But, judging by the existing practice, all the priests are confident that Mother will survive that they will not go anywhere with a "submarine" (or even hard - should not go), and that children will be grateful and solvent.

Based on the above, Matushka is very desirable to have a secular work that will go to the experience and will allow you to retire in the event of a husband loss and the employee. Or, the priest must provide his life rear in old age, because the role of the mother, as, in essence, the profession of women is the most highly tall. And future matushki must take into account this nuance.

Marriage marriage

I watch one family where the girl married without love, just for good and promising for her concepts of man. At the same time, the man was in love, and the favor of the girl accepted for "Love in the spirit of Orthodox modesty." It so happened that it was just that these both people experienced a period of neophisticism in Orthodoxy, and the girl, apparently, was infected with the virus "extinguish-wondering."

The young man could become a priest, and his wife - Mother. At the same time, the girl itself did not dream about this status. But the puzzle of the priesthood did not work out. Because this example is universal. In this article, I cite it to illustrate how the real deep consequences of a marriage of without love and passion to a man in Orthodox or status reasons can be poisoned, and even rushes a family. This is a real example. It concerns one important manifestation of family life in a mature age, which I observed immediately in several families, where there was a very long decree from my wife. In fact, I want to write about how the previous section ended.

Sooner or later, after the transition to the older classes of the latter, the youngest child, mother gets tired of the family setting, and trying to go to work. It is pushing it and the considerations of old age without a pension with a sort of priest. And this exit from the family circle of communication in the circle of staff at work and external contacts, travelers in themselves for any marriage (as practice shows), and especially where the woman took a marriage decision in the absence of love for a future husband.

The way to work a woman after a long seating of the house is accompanied, as a rule, the "roof demolition" from the revaluation of itself and its own role. Moreover, the word "revaluation" both meanings in itself, and a change in self-assessment, and the excess of the correct self-esteem. The woman has new contacts, including male, it internally reacts to the compliments, which she has not heard for a long time. It seems to her that she has any work on the shoulder, she can earn and ensure herself. It seems to her that her at work appreciate more than her husband appreciates. There is a feeling of euphoria from independence growth . And here there may be bad swirls in the heart of even a loving mother, and if there was no love there, there may be centrifugal power with elements of revenge.

And for what to revenge? For a person who does not like, any action, even the most innocuous, can always be interpreted in the spirit of excuses of itself and overestimated expectations regarding her husband. Any remark in its direction is worn, humiliation and insult. The rigor in the raising of children is cruelty. The reluctance to go to the ballet or in the cinema or the disappearance in the temple and on Trebach is indifference. Attempts in the process of lapping to agree on the point of view - pressure and pressure.

At the same time, the wife does not notice that she has long reproached her husband (and he could feel it thousands of times) with a sexual coldness, accompanied by humiliation of human dignity, foul with humiliation in situations when a loving wife would not even notice the occasion. Irritability in a dirty and inadequate form on petty reasons in a state of aggravated pride and vigorous. Therefore, often the revenge with the help of work is already the fact that it has long exceeded the measure of ordinary bitching, and passed into the area "rot."

As a rule, the most low-albele - jealousy is selected for revenge. After all, you can simply enthusiastically speak out about your head or employee, or in the event of a choice between the interests of the family and work, choose the interests of the latter. The husband is deliberately made on the opinion of the husband, and everything is done on their own arbitrariness. Although in the family, which is preserved institutionally, it should not be.

The family is an institution where the spouses partially limit their freedom, naturally, from sacrificial love to each other, for the sake of family values. And if there is no love, there is no sacrifice. This can be seen by the unarmed heart, and even linear men's intuition gives alarm signals that is sublimated in jealousy and distrust even when the de facto is not for them grounds. But arrangements and mutual restrictions should be in such families . And the moment comes when Mother who came to work, considers himself free from everything, sometimes intentionally causing distrust and jealousy.

The more publicly public work, the more reasons to play jealousy. The jealousy of her husband arises where there is no sense of love from his wife. And the father could be convinced of his human dignity thousand times and deceived expectations for many days and years of life. After all, each person understands how loving people behave in certain situations. And if a person behaves differently, the indifference is tested, and even hatred.

Jealousy may not necessarily arise to a potentially possible treason with another man. In the family, any husband with understanding may relate to the fact that children get attention more than him. But he very sharply feels the situation when someone or something has become more valuable in his wife's eyes than he, or even the integrity of their family. When the mother's sake of its work is ready for divorce, and when choosing between husband and work, will choose the last one.

When the contacts increase sharply in their quantity (public work: a commercial representative, a journalist, an employee of the front office, a conference girl on bliss or secretary), then sharply increases the likelihood of finding what was missing in the life of the mother, and what has real value in life any person. This is love. And if for normal families, love is a joy. That for crippled and initially defective, love is a threat, as it does not sound monstrously. Therefore, the mother, choosing such a job without coordination with her husband, demonstrates that de facto, she is ready for family collapse. Maybe hard it says, but really and vital.

If the mother is a decent woman, then she will try to avoid dangerous contacts with men. But if the public work is chosen, then contacts and there is a subject of this work. And if this work came after 15 years of decree and life with an unloved husband, then when a feeling comes, it simply breaks the dam and mocks their dilapidated family structure on the sand. And any man, including a priest, understands this perfectly. He lived such stories so much in confessions, that the ceremony feels a threat to a family emanating from the work of the spouse. And his life turns into a fight against him. The mind says: "You are a Christian, and granted my wife freedom, including the choice," and the heart says: "Yes, but I love her, although I didn't feel her love, and a person without love is empty, it means that there is still ahead" . This makes the unfortunate and tense life of the priest. And it makes the flawed life of the mother, which even if not Astrate, has temptations and temptations to break through what she took an active part in the construction. A layer of fate, including a spouse, will be a stone on conscience. After all, the words "yes" from her were not squeezed by waters. Herself agreed.

Because…

... girls, don't get married without love . As you understand, it concerns not only potential mother-in-law, but any young lady, especially the Orthodox, which other people's stereotypes smelled: "Corrects," wound "," the main thing that the person was good "or" the main thing that was rich. " Or it seems to you that with such appearance you will never find your love. (And all this, mainly concerns potential marriages by calculation or on religious identification of the bridegroom.)

Do not bite your life to your spouse. The purpose of marriage is not in suffering. The purpose of marriage is in the experienced knowledge of love and its various faces in a state of joy and happiness. Tests are even in families who love each other's spouses. But do not need to be artificially created, and even long in length best years own life. The fruit will not be love, but tons of mutual reproaches, offended, including those that the heart does not want to forgive, even if it seems to be the mind. This is a constant threat of divorce. This is a constant humiliation of your husband with your indifference, and even hatred. Every trip to the work of the mother, which the father chose in love, is a potential threat that keeps in voltage and poison life. And not because he considers his wife not decent, and therefore he knows that love is the pearl, for which all the existing petty and not particularly valuable pearls will be sold, and they will buy it. And in a secular family, solving the problem in the end will be divorce, because it is not life. And if the father is not ready for a celibant, and he loves, and not ready to become a monk, he is in doubly. For him, this is life collapse.

It should not be so in families, in normal families. Not at all. Jealousy should not be. Jealousy is a product of the feeling that you stopped loved or never loved. Where a person feels attendant love (even if he does not like himself), jealousy will not arise. It will not arise, also revenge and hatred.

Undoubtedly, the mutual passion, in love at the beginning of the marriage, can also be lost, and can even turn into hatred. Therefore, you need checking the time of passion to the presence of traces of love in it. In a regular situation, for human steam, inlentibility leads more often to love than to indifference.

They offer traditionally men, but choose and give consent - women. The girl building a marriage to love is building on a stone. That, which builds on love - just on Earth. But if at first there was nothing, then why build?!

conclusions

Moreover, these are conclusions lying on the surface. They are banal. But they do not seek them to stick.

• Do not marry without mutual love with the chosenwhich is tested by time. Even a unilateral love is unacceptable. It is better to meet before marriage 2-3 years so that all the "shoals" have time to get out. Or at least half a year old.
• Do not get married, even if you love, and you do not like. Marriage of such marriage will definitely manifest after the understanding of the wrong decision will come.
• There is a buyer for any product, especially if you work on a commodity. Yes, a man falls in love with his eyes, and not always on the beauty of the face. Otherwise, I would not be married to half of women on the planet. Beauty - objective, but attractiveness, thank God, subjective. And if you remove the fat from the body, make a hairstyle suitable for the shape of the head, make a quality makeup and not walk in three handkerchiefs and in the black skirt to the fifth, then the girl will be chosen and in love, and she can even choose. You just need to abandon Orthodox stereotypes about how the girl should dress, but to dress and decorate in a secular fashion and to taste. And then the likelihood of getting married, at least, in love, increases sharply.
• Affect a signal that the girl does not like are various dyed trialsWhen she put it before choosing when she should choose between the fact that she was disgusting, but please guy, and the fact that she is acceptable, but the guy shows that he will not like it. Check for humility in this way - there is a form of humiliation, although it will be represented as an indicator of its loyalty, humility, and even love. A loving person does not even mind. Therefore, you need to stay away from such guys, and send them to the same distance.
• Lion Aslan in the "Chronicles of Narnia" (the prototype of Christ) said: "Events are not repeated." It is impossible to extrapolate other people's models on yourself. Not the fact that if you saw happy life One or two matus, then you will be the same. We always need go out, not for the future father. Heothel becomes Mother, and not just to live in a happy marriage, unacceptable.
• Do not buy at the motifs of an accelerated wedding, like, "rich parish", "a place appeared" and especially, "release from a seminary or academy", if the love is unilateral or there is no one at all. Even marriages of billionaires on the initiative of women who are able to sue something are disintegrated. Disintegrate due to the loss of value of money due to the lack of love, joy and happiness in personal relationships. And on just rich in parish, with a serious care for children and the absence of a relaxing shopping in Paris, everything happens much faster.
• Go to the parents of the groom and watch relationships Between his parents and the guy's relationship with parents. Their harmony, tension or complete absence of mutual understanding, much can say a supervisory girl if she is able to soberly think of his fate. Most likely, family models will be tested on it itself. And if she did not like them, they will not like them in her personal life.
• The girl should ack out any guy zakydons on the correctness and attractiveness of the patriarchal device of the family and gender inequality. (At the same time, I do not talk about inequality, male and female floor objectively are functionally unequal). These grinders about gender inequality are not always bravada. It may be inability to hide the manifestation of the future behavior model. And most importantly, a preventive dismissive attitude to the future wife because of gender stereotypes drawn by Orthodoxy from antiquity today. It can pass with age, but it is better that it goes to wedding. After all, if you show at least a proportion of consent with this, then the feeling of consistency is to start, and this negative will begin to progress with age, and not to fade.
• Needed in advance, with a close enough acquaintance, stipulate the number of children in the planned family, To make a woman not to turn into a female, which makes the mouth of the phrases "Move and multiply" and "the wife will be saved by Chador Cador." If the girl herself is not against the largestness (although it can be quite far from understanding what kind of multiwear in practice, especially in marriage without love), then not the question. But if against, then the question should immediately put an edge.
• Need hard prevent any manifestationstaking your dignitySo that people understand that after the release of married you will need to love and respect my wife. And even the status of the representative of Christ will not give him in the future motives for discrimination.
• If you still got married without love, Try not to see each word and the action of your husband attempts to humiliate, suppress and subordinate. These actions may occur, but not always.
• Well, finally, if you got to secular work, try not to use it as a means of compensation for real and contrived resentments.. The word "yes" you said, subscribing under his consequences on a par with her husband.

There are many temples in our city, and the priests in them often appear on the pages of the Vedomosti, while their wives modestly remain in the shade. Today, questions about what responsibilities is fulfilled by the wife of the priest and how their family is different from the usual, Mother Tamara is responsible - the spouse Archpriest Evgenia Klimenko

"Moments of spiritual joy cover all the vital difficulties"

- Being a matushka - easy?

I cannot definitely answer this question. There are various periods in life, sometimes it is very difficult to carry their cross, but I can't imagine the other. Nevertheless, those moments of spiritual joy, which is experiencing every believer, cover all the vital difficulties.

- Tell me how did you meet my husband? How did your life changed after this dating?

We met 24 years ago upon admission to the historical faculty in the Poltava Pedagoment Institute. It was very quickly understood that our meeting was not random, now since then never separated for a long time.

- Have you always lived with faith in the heart?

We are with the Father Yevgeny both natives of Slobodskoy Ukraine, that is, from the Kharkiv region. Naturally, in those years, when our childhood passed, about faith in God in our territories, aloud was dangerous for its existence. Parents could not give us religious education. On the contrary, in our case, we ourselves with God's help led parents to faith.

For me, faith has become a conscious choice in student years. The more knowledge I received, the more came to the thoughts about the existence of the Creator. And then the Lord led me, as if by the hand, sent necessary people, books, life circumstances, which led me to the temple. This can be written a whole book that I will ever do if it is useful to people. I just say that when I found faith, "the full rebirth of his soul experienced, and this feeling is incomparably with any material values \u200b\u200bon Earth.

The biggest gift for me was that my husband soon began to divide my beliefs. Together, we visited the temple, sang on the closer, and years later, strengthened in their faith, he accepted the priestly san. At this time I taught the story and right at school, was a class teacher in the 11th grade, and, becoming a priest's wife, I continued to fulfill my duties of the teacher. The husband was appointed for the parish to the Primorsky district, where we arrived with the older daughter soon. Already here, on the Azov Earth, our youngest children were born.

- How did the family treat your marriage?

When we married, my spouse and I did not even suspect that the Lord prepared us, so parents took my choice calmly. Already later, when I left my small homeland, a comfortable city apartment, his loved ones and left for her husband to rural parish, they were horrified, but, knowing my character, did not try to dissuade. With God's help eventually they managed to understand me and take my choice.

"Family of priests should not tempt people who are faster in faith and give them a reason to be disappointed in church life"

What is the difference between the relations of Mother and Batyushki from the relationship of the worldly husband and wives? Is the life of the priest's family from the life of an ordinary family?

First of all, the fact that you always try to remember that you are an example for other people and you have no right to give will negative emotions. I always try to look at myself like from the side and, before doing something, thinking about the consequences of my actions. Although all this comes with time and with age. In our turbulent time, the family of priests should not tempt people who faster in faith and give them a reason to be disappointed in church life. After all, the family is a small church, and if there is no mutual understanding and love in the family of a priest, what order can we talk about the parish? Children, we also often remind you of what family they are, so that we were not ashamed. But children in the families of priests are not born saints, they need to raise, because in any other family. We never sought the power to impose anything to your children. Even if they stuck bumps, we always wanted it to be their free choice in favor of Christian values.

- Tell about your children. Who do you see them in the future?

With my father Evgeny, three children. Elder daughter adult, working as a speech in Berdyanskaya boarding school for children, already has his own family. With us since childhood, it was independent, purposeful, decisive. Parents of students praise her, consider a good specialist, albeit beginners. Younger, son and daughters, thirteenth year, they have twins. The age is now transitional, there are also difficulties in education, like all parents. The most important thing is that distinguishes believing parents from atheists that we can always pray to God about our children and ask for the inspection of both for themselves and for them. And we always get help and consolation. At the expense of the future of their children, I do not undertake. It will be their solution. Of course, I want the case to which they will be engaged in, and God for God, and people benefited.

- What are the duties of the mother?

The main duty of the mother, in my opinion, to provide his husband-priest all the conditions so that he always had peace and peace of mind for serving God and people. Until recently, I have more than 10 years old, I also sang and read in worship services, conducted classes in Sunday schools. In addition, there were other obedience for cleaning and landscaping churches on rural parishes. But I always did it with joy and perceived as a reward from God and the opportunity to redeem my sins committed in godless times. Now I still teach the foundations of Christian culture in the gymnasium.

- How do you manage to do everything?

I will say honestly, everything that has planned, but I try to place priorities: what needs to be done primarily, which is more important.

"A woman should not look like vulgar, but look so that it was nice to look at it - just obliged"

You head the pilgrimage department of the diocese. Where do you organize pilgrimage? In which holy places were you?

Yes, indeed, this year I have been doing this with the blessing of the Vladyka Ephraim and with his great support and participation. It was very scary to start creating the department, but it was even more terrible to justify hopes assigned to me. With God's help, the trip was held successfully, the pilgrims were satisfied with the trips, and I myself get huge moral satisfaction from this activity. Mostly mastered the routes in Crimea, Donetsk region, visited Poltava region, and in Western Ukraine. Now, unfortunately, due to the current situation in the country temporarily suspended the trips, but the schedule of travel was and we hope for a safe permission of the political crisis.

- And in which holy places would you like to visit?

I dream to visit the holy places of Greece, worship the relics of the Great Martyr Harlampia - one of my favorite saints. I would like to turn around the whole world if there was such an opportunity, because how much in the light of decent attention! Recently implemented his dream - prepared materials and made a pilgrimage tour of the temples of Berdyansk for the guests of our city. After all, Berdyansk has its own unique history and beautiful temples, the word, there is something to tell and show pilgrims. My debut in this regard was successful.

What is the difference between the priest's wife from an ordinary woman? Are there any restrictions on choosing clothes, cosmetics? How big is the difference between the lifestyle of the mother and a modern woman, which goes shopping, is visiting beauty salons? Does one another contradict?

I do not see special contradictions. The main thing is to remember the words of the Apostle Paul about what everything is permitted to us, but not everything is useful. In clothes I prefer the classics, I try to look elegant, but not defiant. Light makeup sometimes do. I think that a woman should not look like vulgar, but look so that it was nice to look at it, "just obliged. Then the husband and the children will be proud of such a mother, respect her. The main thing is that the care of appearance does not prevail over the concern about the soul so that everything is harmonious.

- Describe how the most ordinary day from the life of the mother is held.

I guess I am not quite ordinary mother, as I have every day in different ways. On Monday, I am doing homemade, on Tuesday I teach in the gymnasium, on Wednesday I am in the diocesan administration, on Thursday - I am doing a little bit, on Friday I spend excursions for the temples of Berdyansk, on Saturday - home affairs and evening worship, on Sunday - Liturgy and teaching In a children's Sunday school. If there are trips, there are no time for a few days.

- What are you fond of free time? Do you have any hobbies?

I grow flowers in the yard of your house, I play the piano, I write articles on Orthodox theme or just sleep is the most favorite hobby.

Klimenko Tamila (Tamara) Valeryevna was born on March 6, 1971 in the city of Lozovaya Kharkiv region. Has a higher education (graduated from Poltava State pedagogical Institute), I currently finishes the University of Lugansk University. From 1991 to 2006, he worked as a teacher of history and law, from 2003 to 2013 - the regent of the church choir. Since 2001, a teacher of a children's Sunday school, since 2013, the head of the pilgrimage department of the Berdyansky diocese and the teacher of the foundations of Christian culture in the gymnasium number 3.