A brought up man should be able to not only follow himself, control himself, but also to relate to others. It is in a good attitude to others, especially for women and older people, such wonderful mental qualities of an educated person, as respect for comrades, politeness, modesty, preventability, tact, delicacy and attentiveness.

Wherever a man is - in the room, in the tram, in a bus or trolleybus - he must give way to a woman or an older person; This is his duty. A chair or sofa man is inferior to a woman or an older man, and he can be satisfied with a chair. If a woman sitting on the sofa offers you to sit down, do not sit next to her, but take a separate chair.

Walking with a woman to the door or having met her in the doorway, a man must miss her ahead of himself. The same should be done in relation to older people.

Walking with a woman, a man should not move away from her at a meeting with a friend, even if the latter expresses the desire to say: Agree of meeting and follow your way. Only in the extreme case can be moved from the companion with its permission, but also not for long. Otherwise, you will show the inattention to the woman, and she can leave without waiting for your return. Therefore, having met an acquaintance on the street with a woman if he did not introduce you to me, do not join the conversation, but just say hello, if necessary, agree on the meeting.

To file a woman's coat - the debt of the courtesy of a man, but not his duty; Therefore, for this service, a woman must thank, but never give up her.

A brought up man is always tacty: he does not allow an exaggeration and rudeness towards the elders and the woman, will not put another in an awkward position and, in turn, will not notice his awkwardness. In a conversation with the elders, you should not make comments on their behavior (if this behavior does not come out, of course, beyond the fractions), especially in the form of notations. Chatting with the elders, you should not interrupt them or start talking before, rather than finished. Talking with the eldest, give him the opportunity to speak the first, do not let the Sovetacks, if he did not add to you. Offering or advising any senior, ask him permission.

For any rendered service, for all attention shown to you, it is necessary to thank and, if possible, respond to mutual service and attention. Having causing an inconvenience or trouble to another person, you should immediately apologize, and if it is possible, to soften your guilt (raise, if you dropped something, put in place if something was tilted).

No need to insult a person if you see that he offended you without evil intent; You should not read the morals of the one who inadvertently disturbed you or caused you inconvenience. In general, it must be remembered that it is necessary to be delicate, polite and tactful only in relation to those people who allow any awkwardness inadvertently, without any intent. If a person deliberately violates the rules of order, deliberately interferes with others, offends and insults them, then in relation to it, it is necessary to act as decisively and cooler.

The unpleasant impression is made by the manners of people who are aimlessly manipulate various objects, drummed with their fingers, click them or pull up to a crunch in the joints, the face, hair, getting up with the clothes, hurt, study themselves in the mirror, intently examine the hairs or a pimple on her face; The nail of one finger cleaned the dirt out of the other. All listed prohibitions are fully justified. Stormy gesturing and continuous fuss are unsafe for surrounding people and items. And the similarity with the windmill does not decorate a person. ("And not too saw the air with the hands," he advised the Hamlet Stray Actors.)

Pupil people say quietly (on the street, at work, at home), laugh sincerely, but moderately, they are silent, the yawn with a certain training becomes silent. The quieter "sounds" a person in everyday life, the higher we appreciate its manners.

Imagine that your eyes tied up and offered to say hello to your hand with several people. By how they shake your hand, you can get information about their pupils and manners. Some squeeze your hand to pain, so that the fingers are glued together; others are shaking it and swing, as if checking the strength of the joints; The hand is third sluggish and lifeless, like boiled flabble; Fourth invest their hand into your, but not all, but only fingertips, and graciously allow you to shake it. But how pleased you energetic, strong and polite friendly handshake!

And how do we greet? The guys in school were pretty: why not say "hello", "Hello"? Who said that it is impossible? Can. It all depends on who and where it says. The word "hello" (from the verb to "Look") quite can serve as a greeting between peers. The point is not in the Word, but also in tone, what is it pronounced. If your "hello" sounds happily, accompanied by a smile, there is nothing wrong with that. When, healthy with comrades, young people build a squeezing grimace on their face and through their teeth will be typing "at-and-ve-em", it is quite disrespectful. But there are people of older generation, colleagues ... "Hello!" And if so: "Hello, Maria Nikolaevna!"? Trifle, nuance. But manners are made up. And the distance for greetings should be guess: from afar, it turns out somehow utility. It came closely - impolite. There is a certain invisible feature, as if limiting the space needed by a person not to experience discomfort. It should not invade this space.

Now about meeting. The first minutes of communication sometimes determine the nature of future relationships. Therefore, it is important how people will be presented to each other. (It is necessary to remind that the name, patronymic and surname in meeting should be pronounced clearly and not by typule.)

"Unbridled" and "nervous". How often these concepts serve as an assessment of the same actions. And it's not by chance. In minutes, when we, nervous, lose control of themselves, are exposed not the best sides of our character and upbringing. And people who can boast a good character or ideal upbringing, as a rule, do not.

To deal with when certain actions are associated with the disorder of the nervous system and require the competence of a doctor, and when they are nothing more than the cost of education, is not easy task. That is why it happens that the sick person sometimes acquires an undesuned reputation of an uncompatible. The unreought-off uses our indulgence, because he convinced everyone around, and, above all, himself, that all this from the "nerves".

The nervous person in everyday life is called irritable or rapidly responding to any events, that is, who, as a rule, flies their emotions. Those who are experiencing that happened in themselves, consider calm, balanced. However, in both of these groups, the psychoneurologist will find its patients (that is, people with border forms of neuropsychiatric disorders), and quite healthy people.

Life requires constant self-control. Education is laid by the ability of a person to determine that it is possible that it is impossible to pay attention to, without reacting outwardly. This ability to behave in accordance with generally accepted norms changes with age. The child, who only learn to own his emotions, or an old man who has the ability to control himself weaker, some actions are exclarable.

For a mature man outbreak of irritability or periods of unreasonable gloomy can serve as a reason to think about their character. Many psychiatrists determine the character as one-scenes of the psychic personality organization. It is for this reason that it is impossible to remake the character. But you can learn to close your weaknesses, learn to own yourself.

If you feel that much annoying you, if you "flash" for the slightest occasion, admit to start, that it does not decorate you. And then take a step towards yourself: try to change your behavior. It is your own. Do not seek to redo the surrounding people so that you will be easily and convenient for you. Think, do it easily with you?

Imagine, for example, was it convenient for your neighbor with a sick head to climb to you and ask silence into your past holiday? Than out loud and mentally pronounce everything you think about her, try to tune in to another way: Of course, she did not know (and could not know - you do not discuss with the neighbors a schedule of visiting your apartment!) That you have guests, she has There was its reasonable reason to demand silence. So sympathize with the elderly, and irritation will leave.

Designed by the epicurus of contrast technique and today. The search for the positive sides of the negative phenomenon is inherent in a person, they become our psychological protection. Even a completely healthy, balanced person can temporarily weaken the mechanisms of psychological protection. The reasons may be a disease, overwork, stressful situations. And then, the charter at work, he "breaks down" at home, and after illness can become unusual sentimental.

At first glance, it may seem strange, but you can increase your own invulnerability, trying to understand other people with understanding. Better understanding the other, we are improving ourselves.

That is why the definition is considered to be the definition, according to which a brought up person is not the one who correctly holds the fork and a knife, but the one who respects and understands others, their opinions, actions, thoughts, feelings. Who not only remembers their rights, but also is considered to be with the rights of others, and, without irritating on trifles, does not force to annoyance and nervous others.

From the memories of the People's Artist of the USSR Sofia Vladimirovna Hiacintova

A brought up man ... If this is said about you, consider what was awarded high praise. Unfortunately, in our daily life we \u200b\u200bare not so often about someone so flattering. At one time, some even believed that "pupil", with everything that enters this capacious concept, it seems to be even a surler, conventions, discarded as historic trash. The right to respect received another concept: "educated person." It was believed that the person who received a diploma in itself is already cultured and educated.

No, it is not. Life itself shows that education is not yet predetermined by pupils. And now such a time, when we, learning and educating our youth, it's time to intermittent to the question of her "pupils". We not only have to be proud of knowledge, cultural level of our young generation, but be sure that it has enough everyday clock, knows how to behave in society, armed with good manners, which always, in any era, are a decoration of a person whoever .

So what is the pupil?

It happens: the interlocutor is my good, smart person is I know. But as a wall stands between us, his inability to communicate. It is like in a play - the role is meaningful, and a form or banal, or inexpressive, and the image does not work. I want to talk about the shape of human communication with a man.

Pupil is not only good manners. This is something deeper and indigenous in man. This is primarily its inner intelligence. And externally, it is expressed in charm. There is such a rather blurry, at first glance, the concept is charm. So, we must be charming. The charm contains primarily respect for another. A. P. Chekhov wrote: "What a pleasure to respect people." But in order to experience this pleasure, you need to be able to respect. To be brought up and charming is to be attentive to another, delicate, tactful, modest. These are excellent qualities, and if they are inherent in someone in the older generations - so let the young, as an expensive heritage, take these qualities and develop, and make them their own.

It seems to me the standard of such qualities Artist of the Art Theater Vasily Ivanovich Kachalov. On the street, he walked on it. And modestly, and festively. He understood that people were looking at him that he was joyed by him, and walked, carrying this commitment to her - not to disappoint people to everydayness, alienation, inattention towards them. He certainly remembered all the names and patronymic of the people with whom he met. He organically respected people and was always interested in them. With it, every woman felt an attractive, creature gentle, worthy of care. Men felt smart and very kocheov at the moment. Vasily Ivanovich as it were, as if "absorbed" other people's lives, faces, characters, and was he among people as a holiday, like human beauty and nobility.

Yes, I think that the main thing in his charm was - respect for people. Is it possible to raise it in yourself? Is it not talent? Probably to some extent talent. But he can manifest itself in every, to one degree or another, if, of course, want to find and approve him in itself, in others. And we must argue. And first of all in young generations.

Once on the street, the girl of the years eight pushed me with his elbow, stepped on his leg and went quietly further. I said: "Why didn't you apologize?" Mother pounced on me: "Do you, my girl make comments? Think, some kind of sadness! " The girl was a mother justified. Maternal love turned out to be unreasonable. The girl went down, shining from his victory. And I thought with bitterness: nice on the sight of the girl, but will grow an uncompatory. High education can get, and the genuine intelligence will not be in it. And all because it is not raised from childhood. And the parents are to blame for this. After all, on them is the main responsibility for which there will be a person.

Somehow I read such a story. In Paris, homeless and beggars came to the Louvre in the morning, became heating, warmed up. Standing so old woman. Near the artist worked on a copy. The artist suddenly stood up, brought a chair and put it with an old woman. That lowly lowered and sat down. This scene was watching a woman with a boy. The mother whispered something with her son. He came up to the artist and said: "Mercy, Madame." And with a happy face returned to the mother.

I was fascinated in this story all - and the behavior of the artist, and the intelligent education of the mother, and the happiness of the boy from their participation in beautiful human attention, happiness from their community with good people. Coming to help a person is a generosity, this is a genuine nobility.

These qualities we must contribute to our everyday life. There are no high words here. A man - let him give way to a woman's bus, especially elderly. It should be natural and habitual. This requires the laws of elementary decency. And there is no reason to deal with such manifestations of ordinary decency, as we sometimes do. Once at the entrance door to our theater I ran into an unfamiliar young man. I was detained for a minute: let him go first. And he stopped, retreated, opened the door in front of me and said: "Please". God you are! How I thank him! And because of what? After all, this is the most minimal, natural attention to a woman, and even older. Politeness is simple. Of course, it appreciates. "Nothing appreciates so expensive and nothing costs us so cheap as politeness," Cervantes said. And another good word, said to people. It would be more often for us to tell each other such words! Short "thank you" has a magical force to unite people, awaken kindness in them.

Once we waited for a taxi. There are two young people ahead, a woman behind them, not old, not young. Apparently, they all stood a long time ago and very frozen. The car came up. Young people, without claiming, turned to a woman. "Sit down," said one of them. "We see, you are very frozen." Woman gratefully took the car. "Thank you," said simply and heartily. Short thanks, but how these young men were raised in their own eyes and with them all of us. The queue has become kindly good and very patient. General "Thank you" as the magic combined people. Is it little things? Not. This is the joy of life. This is a fun day.

I always insults cynicism in people, especially in young people. Some believe that to be a cynic means to look smart and modern - everything is denying, you need to laugh everything. With this attitude to life, there is no need to bore yourself with thoughts. Do not create, but to destroy, do not respect, but to humiliate and never feel responsible. I consider cynicism with a deep manifestation of an uncompatory, the absence of genuine inner culture, disrespect for people and to society. This is a dangerous disease.

To form in people the pupils must be primarily through respect for work, to the case that he dedicated himself. Didro said that it was not enough to do good, you still need to do it well. In his youth once herself subjected to such education. I just entered the art theater. Step by the corridor, and towards me Konstantin Sergeevich Stanislavsky. I first saw him so close. It goes mighty and beautiful. I look at me from the height of its growth. My heart freezes from delight and excitement. And suddenly, his whole mighty figure becomes tiptoe and easily easily, silently moves. "Do you know how to walk on the theater?" - asks. And without waiting for an answer, explains: "You are now passing by the scene. And there, maybe a rehearsal. So, you need to walk very, very quiet. " Not so much of his words, how easy, careful walking left in my memory mark for life. That's what it means to be able to raise other examples!

Life gives a lot of reasons to irritating on trifles. Nothing is worth offended by a person in the bus bright, in line in the store ... If I could not restrain, there was a hunted word of a person on an insignificant occasion, it means not only him, but above all myself, something lost in myself, became poorer. In Moscow, working the telephone network leaves much better. Sometimes you close the number correctly, and you get at all right where you need. And suddenly you irritably: "Choose right! Do not interfere with working. " And how nice it happens when there is an unknown person at the other end of the wire, which, probably, never meet in life, will say softly and politely, that you made a mistake number. Telephone misunderstanding, and man did not drop his human dignity in it.

It happens like this - all people around smart, cute, good, know each other. Gathered friendly to talk, but the conversation does not work. They say all over. Noisy and with hobby. Everyone about his own and does not listen at all the interlocutor. Each excludes each. And the conversation is tagged. And there is no more than gracious communication that it enriches. To be in some society - it does not mean to gather in a bunch. It means to meet with people and perceive their thoughts, their characters, their behavior. Meet with a person - it means to understand her, enrich yourself. Be able to talk - it means to respect the interlocutor. "You should not take possession of a conversation as a behavior, from which you have the right to survive the other," said Cicero.

It happens that we do not argue, but impose your mind stubbornly, even rude, absolutely not interested in the objection. And you need to listen to the other side. This is a culture of relationship.

We sometimes pay attention not only to what we say, but as we say. Torch, even do not agree words. We do not always know how to be proud of your tongue, but our surprisingly beautiful language. Unfortunately, in our language a lot of vulgarity, performance and even rudeness.

It happens that a higher position considers to be a permissible to speak "you", and in response to get a valid "you". This is humiliating and unworthy of our time. It is a bitter echo of the older stationery and government orders. Genuine pupil and culture can not be combined with a bald arrogance based on the rank tab.

The content is inseparable from the form. A pupil person is not difficult to recognize at first glance. The appearance of him speaks for himself. It is not lost in an unfamiliar society. Able to sit at the table, beautiful and gently eat. Will not talk to a woman holding hands in pockets or a cigarette in his mouth. He will allow an unexpected everyday conflict rather humor than annoying. In all his behavior, it is natural and simple.

Sometimes at the stage they are trying to portray the society of extrave airproof people. Actors and actresses Manerno keep hands, walking, mannerly speak. And this meshchansky is brokeniness is issued for the highest class of behavior. And the authentic "highest class" of pupils is simplicity, naturalness and ease.

To be among people, a great happiness. Let all happiness be tested.

The presence of a sense of style. As a rule, this quality is congenital, but it can be brought up. If since childhood, try to give a girl deep aesthetic education and show an example of real elegance, it is possible to raise a real lady from it. At the same time, it is not necessary to forget that the style is not only the ability to dress well, but also the ability to surround yourself with beautiful things, emit a special charm and attract admiring views of others.

Second Rule: Beautiful manners

Lady always keeps the grace inherent in her and knows how to behave in any situation. She does not allow themselves to relax, even being alone. It is easiest to know her in a conversation manner. No wonder in the famous play of George Bernard, the Pigmalion show, Professor Phonetics Higgins, deciding to make a real lady from the street flowers, first of all, teaches her impeccable pronunciation.

Third Rule: Education

The lady must freely own several foreign languages. It will not be difficult for her to support the conversation on any topic. At the same time, it will never stop on the path of self-improvement.

Fourth Rule: Creative Gifts

Music accompanies true lady since childhood. She should be able to be beautiful and gracefully move, play musical instrument and not be afraid to sing for its guests. Mandatory for Lady is the ability to dance. It should be rhythmic and graceful, confidently hold on during any dance. Once ladies had to adequately imagine himself in society during balls.

Fifth rule: etiquette

Moreover, it applies not only to the rules of behavior at the table, but also to behave in society. Lady should be able to adequately take guests, know what and to whom to say, when you need to smile, and when to show nopothery.

Sixth rule: hardworking

Although today there is an idea of \u200b\u200baristocrats, as bored idlers, a real lady at all times is an excellent hostess. She must be inherent in the ability to cook perfectly, to serve the table, dispose of household. The modern lady in the house always reigns cleanliness and order.

Seventh Rule: A feeling of beautiful

True lady should be able to grow flowers and make up beautiful and sophisticated bouquets of them. Flowers accompany her throughout life, she decorates their home. At the same time, in her house it is impossible to see any faded bouquet.

Eighth rule: Sewing skills

Even if the lady acquires its outfits in the best stores, she needs to sew the ability. Such skills will make it tastefully draw up their wardrobe and always contain it in perfect order.

Ninth Rule: Physical Health

Once in the English Higher Society, the lady had to be able to ride, because she had to participate on the hunt and attend jumps. Today, many girls are also keen on horseback sports, but this skill is no longer obligatory. However, the lady can range the "iron horse", learning to drive the car.

Tenth rule: work on yourself

Being a true lady is not easy art, however, if desired, it can be mastering it. For this it is worth hardening, because the real lady cannot but cause universal admiration.

Complexes and internal problems often interfere with reveal their talents and female qualities. What to do with it? We exercise with a psychologist, watch the video tutorial!

A brought up man not only enjoys the cutting appliances and is the first to greet the elders, but also differs by respect for others and to himself, which manifests itself in all his behavior.

Delicacy towards others

If a person is well brought up, he, as a rule, will not indicate the wrong behavior around them. In other words, he will prevent the view that does not pay attention to things like a loud sneezing or an unclear appearance of the interlocutor. But if we are talking about a man, and someone obscenely scolds with his companion, he is simply obliged to make a remark, otherwise it will be disrespect for the lady. Is it worth saying that from a person with good upbringing is hardly possible to hear the rudeness to anyone, even unpleasant people, and about the "decoration" of the conversation by the clocks can not be speeches.

Good education involves attentive attitude towards others, to familiar and unfamiliar, to the eldest and younger. This means - to give the place in the transport of a child or an older person, say "Thank you" for any, even a trifle service, suggest people in line to skip the pregnant woman forward.

With a person who is well brought up, is always nice to be near, as he tries to understand others and take into account their interests. If guests came to him, and on the street it is cold or raining, then he immediately treats them tea. When he notices that someone is hot, it offers to open a window or turn on the air conditioner.

Art chatting

Education is the ability to support the conversation. A tactful person knows how to listen to others carefully, never interrupts and tries to help the advice if it is appropriate. During a conversation with such an interlocutor, you will not see him on the face of a bored expression, the nicknames of the head and the expression of the eyes he will show that the subject of the conversation is interesting for him.

At the same time, such a person seeing that the interlocutor does not pass the conversation, will try to translate it to another topic. He will not infinitely complain about your minor problems like problems with a mobile phone or conflict with the boss.

If you understand what you understand in some question better than others, it is not clear that it is clearly shown and not to give the rest to express your thoughts. Believe me, if you really are an expert in some topic, then others will feel this during the conversation. Breasting with your welfare and high status is also not the best tone, better shine erudition and mind, but not to the detriment of the rest.

If a person has a good upbringing, he will not show a rice to criticize everyone and all, especially his acquaintances missing during the conversation. In general, such people are demanding primarily to themselves, try to correct their shortcomings if possible, expand the horizons, to learn something new. Therefore, they simply do not have time for constant criticism of others, they relate to others condescendingly.

Knowledge of etiquette

Unfortunately, in our society many people do not know some of the rules of good tone, and some are neglected at all. For example, to swell people in public transport is the top of disrespect for others. Pupil people at the entrance to the bus or the building always misses the elderly, and men should miss the ladies.

If you have other people next to you, it is unacceptable to help them to clean the nose (blow it out). To do this, first go out to the toilet room. Our body has such manifestations, suppress which is impossible. For example, when grasiting in the stomach, the most correct way out is to pretend that nothing happens. If the rumbling is very stormy and long, then it is quiet and how fast to apologize. With a sudden attack of the yawn, it should be tried to put it, and if it was not possible to do it, then at least cover her mouth with his hand and try to yaw silently. It is impossible to use the toothpick, poured, and even more so combing at the table: the raised people will not tell you at the same time, but next time they can not call with them.

When conversing a cry and loud laughter is allowed only in certain situations. In a narrow company of friends, where to shout and "go crazy" is considered normal, there is nothing wrong with such behavior, but if you are sitting in public transport, it is not worth talking loudly and laugh.

How to behave visiting

A person who is considered raised, the guest feels and behaves like at home. And this means that he is there, and there behaves culturally. Gathering to visit, take a small box of sweets to tea. But be attentive: a large box of sweets, going to visit to the unfamiliar people, it is not worth buying not to put the owners in an awkward position. If visiting you notice that the owners are already tired of a noisy party, it means that it is time to politely say goodbye and go home.

Try to behave trough, if you know that the owners went to put the sleeping of young children, and if on the clock 23.00, it means that it is no longer worth playing the guitar and sing, so as not to deliver the inconvenience to other residents of an apartment building.

In short, communication with a brought up man leaves only pleasant impressions, and his acquaintances often see in his behavior a sample to imitate.