Find your husband on the Internet. How to find a husband
I went to a dating site for the first time long before my fateful meeting. I don't remember what exactly brought me there. After all, I, like most girls, did not believe that the Internet could bring me to my future husband ... I looked at such Internet portals rather skeptically ... Therefore, as I now understand, I acted very ineffectively. Sometimes it’s even silly. But the Internet gives us endless opportunities for dating, if you use it skillfully.
Here we will talk not only about special sites, but also about dating "Vkontakte" and even through ICQ. Through these services, I also found some interesting young people. Yes, nothing serious happened with them, but this is not the fault of the way of acquaintance ... After all, in fact, it does not matter at all, where you meet a man for the first time - at a party, on the street, at a party, on the Internet ... Yes, even in line for a public toilet! What does it matter? Important, how will you build your relationship after meeting... In a month, you will safely forget how you learned about the existence of each other. Therefore, this book is not enough to successfully marry. However ... If you do not know a single worthy (and free!) Man - what kind of marriage can we talk about? And the Internet can endlessly lead to you new interesting men, aimed at creating serious relationships ... Again, if you use it skillfully. How to use? This is what this book is about.
Shortly about myself. My name is Natalya Pozdnyakova .. There you can learn more about building relationships, motherhood and much more. At the moment (January 2015) I have been married for 2.5 years. We have a lively daughter (1.5 years old). And most importantly, my husband is an amazing person, inwardly pure, very attentive and loving, the kind of whom I dreamed ... And in whose existence I almost did not believe. It is amazing that we met three years ago on the Internet, where only maniacs and prostitutes supposedly live ... I will tell you more about our acquaintance in a separate chapter.
You can find a husband on the Internet! You just need to know how to search © Shutterstock
The Internet has long since entered our lives. And not only as a great way to learn "everything about everything", but also as an opportunity to get rid of loneliness.
We actively communicate on the Internet and very quickly find friends with the same interests there. We always know for sure on which sites you can organize a whole circle of communication.
On the Internet, you can easily find the addresses of sites where you can meet a guy and have a fun evening with him, not only in the virtual world, but also in the real world.
But is it worth going to dating sites for a serious relationship? Should you consider internet dating as a way to get married? Let's try to find the answer to these questions together.
What kind of men come to dating sites?
Very different. Go to any dating site and enter in the search the age and place of residence of your "object". The number of options will pleasantly surprise you.
It seems that men of all ages have flocked to the internet looking for girlfriends. And most of them write that they are looking for girls for a serious relationship. Although there are exceptions to the rule. Some of them honestly admit that they are looking only for sex and non-binding meetings.
Pay attention! Most men in their profile on dating sites write incorrect information. Most often this applies to age, financial situation and intentions.
- Read in detail about
What are men looking for on the internet?
"I got tired" of family life, tired of the daily routine, and it just became boring and I wanted to chat with girls ...
So they post their profiles on the Internet in search of variety, new experiences, communication and sex.
Where to look for serious men? Pay attention to the "profile" of dating sites.
How to choose a dating site
Are you offered solid and wealthy men from abroad? Our girls are considered the best wives abroad. Why don't you post on such a site a questionnaire in search of the ideal husband?
Do not miss those sites that attract you to the number of marriages concluded with their help. Recommendations of friends who managed to get acquainted with good "contenders for a hand and heart" on the Internet will not be superfluous. Read women's forums and open a new topic there: where you can meet a man for marriage.
How to properly compose a profile on a dating site
If you want your future husband to find you among the many applicants, fill out your questionnaire correctly.
2. Don't write platitudes! Be original and interesting.
3. Inform the questionnaire about your intentions and specify which men you are absolutely not interested in.
4. Do not write in the questionnaire about your shortcomings, mistakes and negative past experiences.
5. Your profile should "charge" with positive and positive energy.
If you seriously decided to find a husband on dating sites, take your choice of a partner seriously. Ruthlessly weed out unsuccessful candidates and do not rush to run on the first date.
The women's magazine "Svoi rules" assigns considerable importance to this topic. If the question of how to find a husband ball is so simple, but this phrase hides a lot of implications. Young girls and women do not just want to get married, they want to meet a decent man, to live a happy, long life with him.
But let's start in order.
The first question that comes up on the topic is not how to find a husband, but where to find him ?!
The life of modern society is so busy that sometimes there is not enough time to find a husband according to old traditions. Perhaps one of the most relevant methods of searching for any information today is the Internet. So why don't we go down the beaten track in search of a husband?
So, we are looking for a husband over the Internet!
A very detailed article "How to meet on the Internet" has been written on this topic. One of the readers of our women's magazine gave a detailed excursion on the topic: How to find a husband on the Internet. Starting with awareness, searching for sources of information, drawing up a questionnaire, ending with the issues of organizing the security of a meeting with a still unfamiliar man. Continuing the topic of communication on the Internet, Nadezhda shares practical advice on how to find and make acquaintance with a worthy man through social networks, on specialized forums, on dating sites. Information with pictures, photographs is presented in the article "Acquaintance on the Internet, advice from the Club of Women's Victories". This is not just formal advice, Nadezhda herself met her chosen one on the Internet. This was not an accidental meeting, but a deliberate strategic maneuver. But this is a completely different story, which, incidentally, is also covered in the pages of the Women's magazine "Svoi rules".
Perhaps someone will say - what are the wisdom? One interesting girl thought the same, she decided to take the site where wealthy traders communicate by storm. She asked them a direct question: "I really want to find a rich guy, marry him, tell me what to do?" One of the successful traders responded to her call and gave her a comprehensive answer. Want to know which one? This is an interesting and instructive story. Read about her: "In Search of a Decent Husband"
How to find a husband off the Internet?
Probably, this is how the question should be put))) Men, on the one hand, are accustomed to taking the initiative, on the other hand, they may be no less interested in a woman who herself is not afraid to start a conversation first. But in order to achieve the desired result, you need to know some of the nuances and subtleties of male psychology. How to meet a guy on the street is described in a similar way: “Meeting men on the street is a women's initiative”.
Not only the Internet and the street will help us, we will also tell you about other possible options for finding a husband.
Finally, you have found a worthy man, you see him in the role of your husband. But how to marry a man. Easier to say: How to make him want to marry? Read on for more details.
Another cautionary tale tells how a girl met a good man, they fell in love, and eventually got married. But after the wedding, happiness crumbled like a sand castle. What was her mistake, it is told: The story of how not to miss your happiness: "Sand Castles".
All stories and articles posted on our women's website are real life stories and practical advice from those who managed to answer the question: How to find a husband!
There are many sites on the web that offer "serious dating". I chose the three most popular ones - mamba.ru, 24open.ru, badoo.ru - and posted my profiles there. In addition, I signed up for the popular tinder mobile application.
The data in the questionnaires varied slightly: I introduced myself as an accountant, lawyer and flight attendant. There were also different photos: I used two images - sexy and casual. But my real age (34 years old) and interests (travel, theaters, cinema, yoga), I indicated the same everywhere. As well as the main goal: to find a man for marriage.
In order not to get lost in all the variety of options, I decided to immediately weed out potential suitors according to the degree of adequacy. I watched how they react to the proposal to marry. A sense of humor is great, but rude jokes are already quite a serious reason to refuse a date. I do not like rudeness, empty questions and superficial attitude - and this is not uncommon on dating sites.
The next stage of elimination was the applicant's social status: I did not hesitate to ask who a person works, with whom and where he lives. And, of course, I would not go on a date with someone who offers to meet in the park, take a walk, and there were many such offers too. Firstly, it is simply dangerous, and secondly, an accomplished serious man is able to invite a woman of interest to him at least for a cup of coffee.
Looking ahead, I will say that almost none of the applicants were interested in my place of work and hobbies, but everyone wanted to know if I was exactly in the photograph. As expected, the sexy image attracted men more often, and I caught serious proposals in a more down-to-earth photo.
Fetishists and cheaters
Mamba.ru is the largest network of Russian-language dating sites, combining smaller sites, 24 million profiles are registered here. The audience here is motley: from millionaires (for example, a friend of mine, the owner of a pharmacy chain, is sitting here) and TV personality, spinning on the "Mordo tape" with a request to lend them a private jet for shopping in Milan, to school teachers and guest workers.
Inhabitants of the site are spoiled by the illusion of options, and this seriously affects their self-esteem and communication, and ultimately on the effectiveness of dating. Most often, it never comes to meetings in real life. And although I chose the goal of "marriage and having children" in the section, most often I was offered to have fun without obligation. To be fair, I will say that not all men from Mamba.ru needed sex or talk about it.
One young man said that carnal pleasures did not interest him at all, only the massage of my beautiful feet. I wrote in response: "Darling, unfortunately, the massage does not give birth to children, but I want a family and children." The young man was also not at a loss: "Maybe I will like you so much that I myself will want children and I can change." I had to say that I need it right away and for sure. And such "maybe, if I like you very much, I will change / decide to marry / change orientation" ⅔ of all the messages.
For five days 128 people wrote to me, ⅓ of them recognized marriage with me as a tempting business. I received specific proposals to meet and discuss the date of the wedding (or at least just talk about it) from 12 people, which was about 10% of the total number of respondents.
The ardent young man Ruslan immediately offered to marry, promising to carry it in his arms. Another applicant offered to immediately move into a newly renovated apartment and have children. I especially remember the man who wrote that he was looking for a wife - the keeper of the hearth. But on condition that I am definitely not a model or an actress, because the representatives of these professions, in his opinion, have an extremely easy behavior. I dared to argue that my sister is a former model, and asked to continue to choose expressions. "And you will still indicate to me how I should speak about these ...?" - the failed groom was outraged and sent me to the black list.
But the next applicant, with his gallantry and wit, quickly made him forget all the negative impressions of unsuccessful suitors. I decided to see him.
Groom first
We had a wonderful evening and a few more days nice text messages ... Until his girl, who has a baby from him and keeps track of all his correspondence, wrote to me on the page.
Eh, I will pump (if I have time)!
The international dating network Badoo.ru was invented by the Russians. The website traffic is about 220 million people. In fact, the Russian-speaking part is not as numerous as on Mamba.ru, but the people here are simpler and more adequate. Here, too, I indicated in the questionnaire the purpose of acquaintance with marriage and began to wait for the daredevils.
More than 100 people wrote to me during the evening. Almost all of them said they had a positive attitude towards marriage and were ready for a serious relationship if everything else matched. Another 14 offered to see each other to see for themselves that we are suitable for each other.
Much should come together: appearance, emotionality, intelligence, interests, material base, willingness to start a relationship, - the first one who wrote it went to the specifics. - Do you think I'm overcomplicating? Let's see you first, maybe our chemistry won't work out. You can meet right at the registry office, I still have free pages.
At the same time, I had a fight with another potential "wealthy groom" over who will iron the shirts for whom. The young man was convinced that managing the iron and cooking borscht was the main prerogative of a woman: "What else is a wife for?" While the young man was surprised, I agreed to a date with Vadim, who said that cooking and ironing are trifles, the main thing is drive.
Groom second
Vadim, 36 years old. A former athlete, ugly, but very funny. Over the pizza, he told me how much money he has in his account, what real estate he has and how much he spends a month. He was looking for a very seriously cheerful woman who could share his interests (traveling, cycling, snowboarding, skiing) and not get annoyed by living together with his son.
I honestly admitted that I was only able to share his passion for travel. To which my athlete said: "It doesn't matter, my ex-wife was also far from sports. You will sunbathe and watch my son and I drive down the mountain."
Over dessert, Vadim admitted that two years ago he had already found a girl on the site, she had recently left him, and he wants to fill the resulting vacuum as soon as possible. "If you decide, write," the potential groom said to me goodbye and flew away in an SUV.
A week later, I decided to go to the cinema with him, but Vadim replied that he had already found a girl willing to ski with him. But if suddenly in two years she also leaves him, then he will be happy. Well, the Germans are right when they came up with the saying "in a big family (badu) they don't click their beak." I wished Vadim that the current girl still became one the only one, and went to seek personal happiness further.
From a fictitious marriage to a wedding in Prague
The 24open.ru site also combines several dating sites. People sit here easier than on Mamba.ru, but there are fewer frankly indecent offers. In this sense, 24open.ru is closer to real life. But, unlike Badoo.ru, the site is not numerous - it was chosen by "only" 2.5 million people. Here you can also prescribe the purpose of dating marriage and the birth of children, however, there is no guarantee that someone will view not only the photos, but also the information in the questionnaire.
Of the 30 who wrote to me in the first half hour, 28 replied that, in principle, they were not against a serious relationship. One young man admitted that he had just divorced and was not yet ready for marriage (it seems that he was the only honest person in the entire Internet space). And another who wrote it turned out to be married, albeit fictitiously. Seven immediately offered to meet and discuss matrimonial prospects.
By the way, the applicant with a fictitious marriage, who introduced himself as Anatoly, found his soul mate on the same site. At first, I just wanted to help a virtual friend get citizenship, and then the marriage on paper turned into a full-fledged relationship with a marital bed, family scandals and mutual accusations.
In general, we do not succeed in anything. Every day we swear and decide to leave. Probably soon we will finally get divorced. Only she will receive citizenship, - Anatoly shared with me.
Of all those who wrote, only one young man really interested me, who seemed just a gladiolus against the background of radishes.
Groom third
Denis, 27 years old: businessman, handsome and very sincere. Even too much. The young man spoke about his diplomatic father and his childhood in Africa (a family photo was shown against the background of palm trees), about his sister-gymnast, the first girl who turned out to be a drug addict, about influential clients and business successes. And also about looking for a smart older woman, because she wants a mature relationship, and not running around in clubs. To have someone to take care of and, if everything goes well, to have a family and children. Too smooth to be true, right?
I ran through Denis's photos in search engines and found my prince on social networks. Indeed, he did not lie about business, parents and other details of his biography. Cheated only with age and marital status. So, my prince is actually 42, he is married, has a daughter.
Taught by bitter experience, I decided not to rush to offer a hand and heart to the next stranger, but to start talking.
For those who love fast
Tinder was originally designed as a mobile dating app. But in the end, life made its own adjustments: someone here is looking for a date for one night, someone wants to find a company to while away the evening in a strange city, and someone is really trying to find a soul mate.
Today the application has 100 million users. But most of them are foreigners.
The application itself, in my opinion, is not very suitable for finding a serious relationship: a selection of photos is at the forefront - the more you view and approve, the more chances that you will be approved and you will meet. In addition, men over 35 - my contingent - make up only 14% of the "Tinder".
When I find myself abroad, I will definitely use Tinder to find myself a nice guide. Although the London police, for example, advise to be careful with mobile contacts: robbers and sex maniacs began to use offers for quick acquaintances.
I had already decided to close the application, when a nice guy wrote to me with a proposal to first get married, and then get to know each other.
The fourth groom
Sergey, 43 years old: psychologist, fan of oriental philosophy and bikes. Despite the fact that we had been talking leisurely for a week, my question about marriage threw him into a stupor. Sergey returned to the Network 10 minutes later - he went to the balcony nervously to smoke - with the question: "Why do you need this?" “To have someone to cook borscht and someone to hug at night,” - I finally said the prepared catchphrase.
And, apparently, hit the mark. Sergey suggested to sit on the summer terrace of a fashionable restaurant and discuss what and how. When we met, we found out that the children annoy him when they demand to change the channel - "I've seen enough of my nephews." I offered to buy another TV and promised that my offspring would annoy him less. “Maybe you’re right,” Sergei agreed, and after short conversations, he offered to marry abroad, in Prague. And if I really insist on the wedding, then he has a pretty town hall in mind.
What's the catch? It is possible that he is not.
There is a chance
Almost three hundred men wrote to me in a week. Two-thirds of them said they were theoretically not against a serious relationship.
Does this mean that they all want to get married? Of course not. But we are ready to use all methods, including the "imaginary prolongation of the relationship," as inveterate pickupers call it. And those who allegedly are seriously looking for a wife on the sites, in fact, are even less ready for marriage than all the other inhabitants of dating sites. For years, representatives of this category have been looking for women who would meet all the items on the kilometer-long list of claims and requirements for an ideal wife, and they themselves can only offer a modest salary in return (which, by the way, is prescribed as "good money").
Unfortunately, these "potential suitors" also have a bad sense of humor - an example of this is a nervous man who shuns models and actresses. The only good news is that most of the men sitting on dating sites are still reasonable creatures, which means that you can always negotiate with them and convince them that marriage (and a wedding in Prague, of course) is exactly what they need.
Stories of those who found their happiness on the web
Ilya, 36 years old: I liked the girl in the photo. We began to communicate, she said that she was sitting on the site just for the sake of communication and she did not have time for dates, she went to German courses. I offered to meet her from the courses and accompany her home. It turned out that in live communication, my Sasha is very nice and very clever. They began to call each other, communicate, meet. Six months later, Sasha put the question bluntly: she said that she was already 28 years old and just didn't have time to meet. I also thought that if I marry, then it was Sasha, I was head over heels in love with her. We have been married for almost six years now, we have a wonderful daughter, so we are planning to complete the renovation in a new, spacious apartment, and there, perhaps, we will have a second child.
Anya, 28 years old: I've been on dating sites for five or six years. She met with someone, but the relationship did not work out. Lyosha was 12 years older than me, so well-groomed, all high-status. He courted beautifully, on the first date he brought a huge bouquet of 100 roses. At first he didn't like him at all as a man. Well, go to a restaurant. Therefore, when he invited me to spend a vacation together, I thought hard: do I want to live with him in the same room? I decided to try it and did not regret it. Pretty soon I moved in with him, and then it began: I caught him periodically in social networks, some girls wrote SMS at night. True, he said that he wanted to get married and that I would give him a son. And I answered: if you buy me an apartment, then I'll think about it, because being alone with a child on the street is not part of my plans. Problems began with his parents: his mother kept emphasizing that I was no match for Alexei. But then I accidentally got pregnant and we got married. And we do not regret it at all. Lyosha settled down, all the time next to me and the child. True, he never bought an apartment in my name, but he changed so much that I am confident in him and in the future without any guarantees.
Tatiana, 26: We do not advertise that we met on the Web. We just talked with Andrey, I was not even going to meet with him, let alone get married. I was still studying at the institute, looking for myself. We corresponded with him for a month. Then he saw my photos in a swimsuit and began to persistently seek a meeting. I called him to a cafe, where I was sitting with a friend and her boyfriend. In communication, he seemed impudent to me, he came all right, sat for an hour, ordered us champagne and left, and an hour later he began to write to me: "Where are you, who are you with? Go home, it's too late." On the second date, he drove up to me in a Range Rover, invited me to an Italian cafe on Pushkinskaya, tried to impress. It turned out that he was very funny without strangers. The first two years of our relationship, I did not plan anything at all, he was talking about the wedding. Then he stopped. And I already started talking about the wedding. Three years later we moved in, and a year later we got married.
The first thing to be aware of when registering on a dating site is the different perception of women and men of this kind of communication. The vast majority of men perceive dating sites as sex dating sites. The female half of Internet users perceives these sites as an analogue of marriage agencies. Hence, a lot of misunderstandings, resentments and disappointments arise.
Let's start with the fact that the female type of thinking does not interfere with one another, who wants to get acquainted for sex, who does not want to not get acquainted at all, but only writes barbs in the comments. With male thinking, the situation is somewhat different: men are not inclined to mix flies and cutlets in one bottle, they work at work, love in love, and relax on the Internet. Our men want to receive news, toys and beautiful women (including porn films) from the Internet.
This means that in order to please a man on a dating site, you need to conduct a light, non-binding conversation with him with elements of flirting and evasion. As a result, this manner of conducting a conversation not only attracts the interest of a man, but brings pleasure to both interlocutors.
The photograph should attract male attention and stand out favorably among the photographs of rivals. To do this, you need to introduce yourself as a man, look through the photos of women on this site and mark the ones you like. If bright makeup and a photo shoot are too difficult for you, upload an emotional photo to your avatar, with a picture of joy or delight. The desire to be infected with ease and well-being will surely attract male attention.
When filling out the questionnaire, avoid offensive expressions for men, of an aggressive nature: "Fat and married pass by" or "I am looking for adequate, generous and without whining." Male solidarity is so strong that half of the adequate and generous will take it personally without whining. I am sure that the desire to avenge all the humiliated will surely ruin the communication with the owner of such a questionnaire from the very beginning.
In other words, for a pleasant impression of yourself, it is better to write neutral expressions with light humor, for example: “If you brought joy, come in without knocking” or “A woman who knows how to cook is looking for a man who can eat”, etc. Jokes are always conducive to conversation and relieve tension.
It is a big misconception that the initiative in online dating belongs exclusively to a man. In life, yes. Well, not always. On the Internet, no. A man who is resting at a computer will go on a "hunt" only out of boredom or uncontrollable sexual desire. Separate category from need. But more on that later.
So, after filling out the questionnaire on the dating site, it is perfectly normal to request the questionnaires of men of the desired age in the "search" window and carefully review them. Feel free to choose several at once. Feel free to write the first message to everyone you like. What to write? A safe bet is something nice about his photo ...
What does it mean how to choose, you will be amazed? Isn't it in appearance? Well, in appearance - yes, of course, but ... firstly, beauty is not a guarantee of decency and intelligence, and secondly, married men very often use other people's photos ... therefore, in addition to facial features and figures, the background in the photo is very important, which reveals the lifestyle of your chosen one. It is clear that holding a bottle of beer and entering the market behind your back does not bode well. But playing sports or the Eiffel Tower is already something.
There should be several photos. If she is alone, then most likely a stranger.
As a rule, men's questionnaires are stingy with information about themselves, however, some still indicate their marital status or describe the mood and goals of acquaintance. If all the points in the male questionnaire are filled in in detail and voluminous, then the pedant in front of you and his requirements for the age, weight and hair color of the interlocutor will be categorical. Consider this fact to build a conversation.
To save time and nerves, I advise you to make two lists of at least three points each: 1 - I strongly disagree; 2 - must be required. For example, 1 - married, foreigners and alcohol drinkers, I do not consider in principle; 2 - kind, educated and wealthy - I consider even with minor flaws.
If during the correspondence unpleasant tension arises, for example, the interlocutor does not answer for a long time or is rude, there is no need to find out the reasons. Refuse communication and go to another object. Believe me, if a man is interested in you, he will find time and pleasant words, take the initiative and invite you to a meeting. If he slips away, then he has his own reasons.
If the correspondence is interesting and captivating with prospects, do not forget to praise your interlocutor from time to time. So that the emotions experienced in communicating with you will be remembered as pleasant. 
Do not fall in love before meeting in reality! Conversation masters tend to hone their skills on a large number of women. Such vivid verbal relationships with a large number of compliments and promises remain virtual, without moving to another, more adult level.
At the beginning of communication, try not to encroach on the freedom and money of the interlocutor. Requests to take them to their mother's dacha, nail a shelf or pay for fitness are perceived by many men as rudeness and an insult to manhood.
And further. The biggest mistake girls make when communicating on dating sites is generalization. If your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, it does not mean at all that everyone else needs to make claims, implying that they are the same. One such unfounded claim is the end of communication. Why? Because a man is resting on the Internet ...
- Lack of feedback. If a man takes your phone number, but calls you from work and does not leave his, this may indicate bad intentions on his part.
- Close interest in you, your apartment, financial situation, with complete absence or minimal information about the interlocutor. After divorce, many men lose their homes altogether or live with their parents. This fact makes them look for a single woman only to "get married" for a while ....
- Demands to meet right now under any pretext. Most likely the person had a free evening, for example, his wife and children went to their grandmother ...
- Men who speak very disrespectfully and rudely about strangers in general and women in particular. This behavior may soon be reflected in you as well.
- Pity towards a new acquaintance, especially related to a request to help with a large amount of money. Thus, not only scammers make money, but also ordinary completely bachelors.
Be brave and luck will smile on you!