The feeling of loneliness at all times has been a serious problem in society. People who are prone to a negative perception of reality perceive loneliness not as a blessed solitude, but as a great personal grief.

Constant feeling of loneliness

The paradox of loneliness lies in the fact that people who complain about it, more often than not, are by no means hermits, but, on the contrary, are constantly surrounded by society. This is a problem of cities and even megacities, but not villages and villages. In addition, the feeling of loneliness usually torments young people who do not have a hobby or a time-consuming job. Working people, as well as adults, are much less likely to complain of loneliness. Based on this, loneliness for many is just a desire to attract more public attention to their person.

Loneliness is unfamiliar to many people for one simple reason: they are active and cheerful, tend to expand their environment and show interest in people, making new contacts. Those who get used to loneliness most often doom themselves to it, because, without receiving attention from specific individuals, they recognize themselves as lonely, without seeking to expand the horizons of communication. Some people, without suspecting it, use conversations about loneliness as an everyday manipulation: while complaining to someone about their condition, the person thus persistently calls for help.

How to get rid of the feeling of loneliness?

For many, it is easier to drown in self-pity than to take up the establishment of life and establish contacts with the world around them. Based on this, in the question of how to deal with the feeling of loneliness, there is only one option - to act!

Often, a feeling of loneliness haunts people who have too much free time in the absence of hobbies, work and hobbies. Thus, the solution to the problem "how to overcome the feeling of loneliness" for them lies in admission to courses or part-time work.

Often the question of how to deal with the feeling loneliness, the simplest solutions correspond.

Speaking about the problem of loneliness, it should be noted that it is of two types. The first type is forced, or physical loneliness. We experience it when we are left at home alone (this is, of course, temporary loneliness) or when we do not have friends and relatives. People who are prone to negativism most often perceive forced loneliness as a misfortune. But those who look at life from a positive point of view usually understand loneliness as solitude, when there is time to think about something important and take care of themselves. But since our society is more inclined to a pessimistic assessment of reality, many perceive their loneliness as the worst thing that could happen to them.
The second kind is a feeling of loneliness. With him, everything is much more complicated. It is such a state of mind and soul when a person, even being among other people, with family and friends, still feels lonely and believes that no one understands him, no one “hears”. Such a feeling of loneliness is a difficult state for the psyche, which, as a rule, is accompanied by a bad or depressed mood and serious emotional experiences. Such people are often very unhappy, they do not have really close friends and all their contacts are very limited. A similar problem can occur in both adolescents and people. Teenagers very often feel lonely and misunderstood in their own family. And middle-aged people often begin to feel a sense of loneliness, when their life becomes measured, they seem to have achieved everything and they have nothing more to strive for. If in the family of such a person they do not really understand and are not interested in his experiences, then the feeling of loneliness can be aggravated to the limit and even develop into.
There are no positive aspects to feeling lonely, but physical loneliness has both disadvantages and advantages. We will now look at them in more detail.

The positive sides of loneliness

Readers, probably, wonderingly ask the question: "What are the positive sides of loneliness?" People are used to thinking: loneliness is bad, this concept carries a negative connotation and there can be nothing good in this state. But let's look at loneliness from the other side, and you will see that it actually carries with it positive emotions.
Loneliness can be seen as a vital resource that we need to move on. It can help a person mature as a person and begin to develop further. Left alone, we can work on life's mistakes, draw the necessary conclusions from them and move on, no longer committing such mistakes.
Even in the old days, loneliness was treated as a good way to listen to yourself, to know your “I”, to develop intuition. Indeed, in the hustle and bustle it is impossible to recognize and understand yourself. We must realize that loneliness is not punishment or isolation, but solitude, which brings peace and meaningfulness to being, and then a lonely person will feel happy.
You also need to understand that being alone you shouldn't miss someone at all. On the contrary, you may perceive loneliness as an opportunity to find yourself. Is this not a reason for joy?
In our world, where everyone is in a hurry, constantly doing something, it is believed that the time spent in solitude and silence is wasted. In fact, it is the time we spend alone that psychologists consider the most fruitful: it helps us maintain our inner life, which is very important. After all, if a person was always busy communicating with others, he would never have come up with many wonderful ideas and solutions to pressing problems.
Plus, when you're lonely, you have a lot of free time to use. For example, learning to sew, going on a journey, etc. Remember what you dreamed about before and make your dream come true.
However, one should not forget about the negative aspects of loneliness. Let's consider them.

Negative sides of loneliness

Not so long ago, scientists conducted new studies that showed that women and men, being without a constant partner, often drink too much, forget about proper nutrition, devote a lot of time to work, they do not have the emotional stability that is characteristic of people. being married.
Being alone for too long has a negative effect on the life expectancy of both women and men. In terms of its negative impact on life expectancy, loneliness is equated to smoking. To date, scientists have not yet found an exact explanation for this, but it is assumed that being alone, people begin to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. They drink more because they want to forget; skip breakfast and lunch because they are not interested in taking care of themselves, and work with a vengeance because they have no one to pay attention to and have a heart-to-heart talk.
Lonely people do not have a sense of responsibility for another person, they are responsible only for themselves and therefore can take reckless, risky actions. They often get involved in various adventures, become too aggressive towards others.
As you can see, there are fewer minuses alone than pluses, but still they are very significant and can pretty much spoil your health and life. Therefore, if you feel that your loneliness has dragged on, then it makes sense to try to overcome it.

Ways to overcome loneliness

If you are experiencing loneliness in your own family, there are several ways you can help overcome this feeling.

1. Accept and understand. Learn to accept those around you for who they are. Of course, you may not like something in your loved ones, but it is very important to just accept it and decide whether you can accept it or not.
   After all, the feeling of loneliness very often arises due to the fact that a person imagines a family not as it really is. And when he sees that the family or partner does not correspond to his ideas, he will first experience disappointment, and then a feeling of loneliness replaces the disappointment.
2. Don't compare your life with the lives of others. If you constantly compare your partner and your whole life with him with other couples, then sooner or later you will begin to adjust yourself and your partner to the "ideal", and this can lead to alienation and, as a result, to a feeling of loneliness.
   When we adjust our lives to the lives of others, we often forget that in our world, almost everyone wears masks that meet social standards. Many try to hide their flaws and flaunt only their merits (sometimes fictitious) or simply try to hide their true feelings under a mask. The same can be true in a family whose life you consider to be devoid of flaws. In fact, these people may well have their own serious problems, which you do not know about and think with envy that your acquaintances are.
3. Take a look at your partner from the side. A person, as you know, very quickly gets used to the good and ceases to appreciate what he has, so he begins to pay attention only to what seems to him negative. To look at a partner from the outside and see his advantages, psychologists recommend using the comparison technique. For example, say to yourself: "Yes, my husband rarely gives me flowers, but he is very gentle and attentive." The main thing to do to get rid of the feeling of loneliness is to be always attentive and caring towards your partner. If you show concern, then a loved one will surely respond in kind, and this way you will not only get rid of the feeling of loneliness, but also improve family relations.

If you feel lonely because there is no loved one nearby, and all searches for love do not lead to anything, in such cases we advise the readers of MirSovetov to radically reconsider their approach to finding a partner. And we will tell you about the common mistakes that a person makes in search of a loved one or beloved.

1. If you have been in search of love for a long time, but deep down in your soul you are sure that you are not worthy of this very love, then most likely you will not wait for a meeting with your soul mate. After all, if you constantly think that it is impossible to love you, that you are marked with the seal of loneliness and in general you have an evil fate, then sooner or later such self-perception will manifest itself in every movement, word and deed. And people will shun you. Therefore, if you want to find love, reconsider your views on loneliness and on life in general. First of all, you need to learn to love yourself, then those around you will love you. Stop seeing only black sides in yourself and in your life. Remember, life is colorful and light tones prevail in it. Try to see them.
2. Usually, people who are searching look at all members of the opposite sex as potential partners, thereby often scaring them away. This rule applies mainly to women: men do not like it when we "open the hunt" for them. Try to reconsider your behavior. You have to show men that you feel good and alone, then before you have time to blink an eye, you will have a permanent partner.

Causes of loneliness and their solutions

Speaking about the reasons for loneliness, I would like to note one important fact. Why is a person lonely? If we think a little, we will understand that there are very few situations when we are alone due to circumstances beyond our control. For example, the involuntarily lonely person is a lighthouse keeper and a person in solitary confinement. And more often than not, our loneliness is the work of our own hands. Can't Believe It? I'll try to prove it to you.

1. Some people think that those around them are simply not worthy of their attention, since those around them have an insufficient level of education, they do not correspond to the "lonely and incomprehensible" in status or mental abilities ... and in general, those around them do not understand their subtle nature. Maybe this is so. But, most likely, you simply do not want to discern in other people their abilities, their inner world. Think about what it was like for Seraphim of Sarov or Nicholas the Wonderworker? But they did not turn away from people, helped them and did not fall into the sin of pride. In a word, be a little simpler, and then you will stop suffering from loneliness, people will be drawn to you on their own.
2. Sometimes people are left alone, because they believe that everyone wants to use them and get something from them. This attitude is due to the fact that a person constantly compares how much he gave and how much they gave him. Yes, we all need something from other people and from the world in general. And that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that. One simple truth must be remembered: the more you give, the more you receive in return.
3. It also happens like this: a person thinks that there are many dangers in the world, and climbs into his "shell", where nothing threatens him and cannot hurt him. But you still need to leave your hiding place sometimes, at least to the store. And if you walk down the street hunched over, with your head pulled into your shoulders, then, most likely, you will not evoke warm feelings in those around you. People love open-minded, friendly and unrestrained personalities. Look at the world with different eyes, look around - and you will see that you are surrounded by good people who have no reason to hurt and harm you. If you cannot cope with the fear of the world around you on your own, seek help from a psychologist, and after a while you will look at the world with different eyes, then loneliness will recede.
4. Some are lonely because they are afraid to contact people, suspecting that they will certainly laugh at him. But even if this turns out to be so, then try to find the courage in yourself and to laugh at yourself along with everyone. If you do this, you will find yourself "in the same boat" with others. And a person who knows how and is not afraid to laugh at himself attracts people more than a closed and always offended subject.

Well, as you can see, a person often creates his own loneliness. And there is nothing insoluble. You just need to understand why you are alone, gather your strength and reconsider your views on life, on yourself and on those around you - and then the ghost of loneliness will very soon stop haunting you.

one of the psychogenic factors that affect the emotional state of a person who is in altered (unusual) conditions of isolation from other people.

When people get into conditions of loneliness due to experimental, geographic, social or prison isolation, all direct, "live" connections with other people are interrupted, and this causes the appearance of acute emotional reactions. In some cases, there is a psychological shock, characteristic of anxiety, depression and accompanied by pronounced autonomic reactions.

To the extent of the duration of stay in conditions of loneliness, the need for communication is actualized. In response to the impossibility of satisfying it, people personify objects, animals (from spiders to horses), create imaginary partners (sometimes in the form of vivid eidetic images projected in a dream), talk to them aloud. These exteriorization reactions are assessed as protective (compensatory) and are considered within the boundaries of the psychological norm.

At the stage of unstable mental activity (-> extreme psychology), when observing a subject in experiments using special equipment or prisoners through "eyes", a number of people develop unusual mental states manifested in painful experiences of bodily nudity or "openness of thoughts". Dominant ideas also appear and cases are noted when subjects confuse dreams with reality (realized dreams). As the duration of harsh conditions of loneliness increases, at the stage of deep mental changes, ideas of overvalued, ideas of attitudes, depersonalization experiences (split personality) and reactive hallucinations appear.

Loneliness

one of the psychogenic factors that affect the emotional state of a person who is in isolation from other people. In a number of cases of experimental, geographical, social isolation, a psychological shock occurs, characterized by increased anxiety, severe depression and accompanied by distinct autonomic reactions. As the time spent by a person in O. conditions increases, the need for communication is actualized. In response to the impossibility of satisfying this need, people personify objects, various animals, create partners with the power of imagination (in some cases in the form of vivid eidetic images projected in a dream), with whom they begin to talk aloud. These exteriorization reactions are assessed as protective (compensatory) and do not go beyond the boundaries of the psychological norm. At the stage of unstable mental activity, when observing the subject in experiments with the help of special equipment or the prisoners through "eyes" ("publicity of loneliness" - O. N. Kuznetsov), a number of persons develop unusual mental states that manifest themselves in painful experiences of bodily nudity or "openness of thoughts". At this stage, dominant ideas also appear and cases are noted when the subjects confuse dreams with reality (realized dreams). As the time spent in the harsh conditions of O. increases, at the stage of deep mental changes, overvalued ideas, ideas of attitude, depersonalization experiences (split personality) and reactive hallucinations appear. IN AND. Lebedev

Loneliness

the state of a lonely person, which in general should be assessed as negative and unpleasant, in particular, in the case of a long stay without sufficient society, without full-fledged communication with people. As a feeling of loneliness, it is characterized by an increased desire for communication, a search for it; in the case of prolonged loneliness, a certain alienation towards people may occur, a desire for self-expression develops, and serious mental deviations may occur. Feelings of loneliness can be associated with resentment, cause it. Wed description of the state of Robinson Crusoe, who lived for a long time on a desert island in the work of the same name by D. Defoe.

Vera Lvovna was terrified and sad. For the first time in her life she came across today a terrible consciousness that sooner or later comes into the head of every thoughtful person - the consciousness of that inexorable, impenetrable barrier that eternally stands between two close people ... Suddenly she felt such a deep inner melancholy, such a pinching consciousness loneliness that she wanted to cry. She remembered her mother, her brothers, her younger sister. Are they not just as alien to her as this handsome brunette with a gentle smile and gentle eyes, who is called her husband, is alien? Can she ever look at the world like that, how they look, see what they see, feel what they feel? .. (A. Kuprin, Loneliness)

But there is nothing more terrible than loneliness among people (S. Zweig, Letter from a Stranger).

Wed painting by M. Vrubel "Lilac", Hugo Wolf's song "Loneliness", "Song of the Earth" by G. Mahler (part of "Lonely in Autumn"), aria of Mr. X in I. Kalman's operetta "Princess of the Circus", American song "Lullaby of Leaves" ("Lullaby of Leaves").

Loneliness

Loneliness

special psyche. the state of the person arising as a result of the frustration of his need for O. with other people, including confidential. It is characterized by the presence of decomp. according to the degree of intensity of individual experiences, having predominantly. negative emotional coloring. Od. trail is called. influences: 1) full or partial physical. and social isolation (accident; experiment; imprisonment; geographic / territorial isolation; lack of knowledge of the language; special conditions of professional activity that limit the ability of O. or suggest O. only with a strictly limited contingent of people: astronauts, polar explorers, sailors, travelers, speleologists , truck drivers, etc.); 2) violation, rupture or absence of significant social ties and personal relationships, emotional isolation (lack of trusting O. with loved ones, psychological alienation, misunderstanding by significant others; loss, divorce, disappointment, the departure of an adult child from the family, experienced psychotrauma, emigration, etc. etc.). A lonely person is separated from his own kind, close people. Most often, he experiences a trace. emotional states: discomfort, depression, depression, despair, unbearable boredom, melancholy, apathy, emptiness, guilt and regret in relation to the past, etc. The feelings of Od. may differ in the degree of their duration and stability. By analogy with anxiety, aggressiveness, shyness, Od. can be viewed as a passing state or as a personality trait. D. Perlman and L. E. Peplau (D. Perlman, L. Peplau) identified 8 theor. approaches to Od .: psychodynamic (Od. the result of early childhood influences on personality development), phenomenological (the reason for Od. is the discrepancy between the individual's ideas about his true and socially desirable I), existential-humanistic (Od. the essential state of a person, inherent in his very nature), sociological (Od. is a normative general statistical indicator characterizing society), interactionistic (Od. is the result of the interactive influence of personality and situation factors), cognitive (Od. is the result of a person's awareness of the dissonance between the desired and achieved level of social contacts), intimate (Od. Arises as a result of a lack of intimacy in interpersonal relations) and system-theoretic (Od. Is a feedback mechanism that helps to maintain a stable optimal level of social contacts). According to the criterion of the degree of isolation, absolute and relative Odes are distinguished. Absolute Od. presupposes sensory deprivation (a decrease in the influx of external stimuli and a significant decrease in their intensity of impact on the body), social deprivation (limitation of O.'s capabilities with other people, the absence or limitation of socially significant information, the impossibility of realizing sensory-emotional contacts) and the factor of "confinement" (being in a confined space, limiting the possibility of free movement). Forms of relative Od. vary depending on the presence and severity of each of these factors and their specificity. Depending on the dominant cause that caused O., a trace is distinguished. its types: interpersonal (due to dissatisfaction with existing relationships); social (arises as a result of rejection by the reference group), cultural (due to the breaking of ties between generations), cosmic (caused by the disruption of human ties with nature and the world). D. Weiss separates emotional and social O. The emotional is the result of the absence of intimate attachment, the social arises in response to the absence of significant friendships or a sense of community. Long-term experience of Od., Caused by forced social isolation, leads to inevitable changes in the psyche. activity: violation of the nature of the course of the psyche. processes, the development of reactive psychoses (V. I. Lebedev, L. P. Grimak, N. Yu. Khryashcheva, etc.). The person begins to talk aloud, communicate with imaginary partners, compensating for the so-called. lack of real O. The subject may experience hallucinations and a gradual split personality. To prevent the destructive consequences of prolonged isolation or reduce their severity, it is necessary to learn how to “structure time” (E. Bern) or “fill time with activity” (L. P. Grimak): rationally distribute excess free time, which allows you to maintain even biol. body functions for def. level. In this sense, decomp. types of educational activities aimed at self-education (for example, learning foreign languages); creative (literary, musical, etc.); game (for example, ludism: solving crosswords, puzzles, etc.). An important role in the emergence of the psyche. violations plays a person's awareness of possible changes in the psyche. condition. Voluntary social isolation or solitude, carried out consciously as an act of religion. self-improvement, or short-term self-isolation for better knowledge and understanding of oneself is characterized by the presence of neutral and positive experiences. Unlike forced, voluntary social isolation does not have a negative impact on the human psyche, but contributes to his self-development and self-improvement. L. P. Grimak believes that scientific and technical. progress, the emergence of new information technologies lead to an exacerbation of the feeling of loneliness in the 21st century, the emergence and development of various. forms of surrogate Od. (Internet). Psychol. Od. as a subjective experience of a person of social isolation against the background of its objectively observed involvement in the dec. social relations are especially acute in adolescence, adolescence and retirement age, as well as during the midlife crisis (M. Clark, B. Anderson, I. S. Kon, Yu.M. Shvalb, O. V. Dancheva, etc.) ... Some psychologists consider social Od. one of the main. causes of suicide among young people. N. Sakhin believes that the feeling of Od. in adolescence and adolescence is an important component of the norms. growing up process. RG Henwood and S. Solano believe that the experience of Aude. at any age is associated with insufficient use of social networking strategies. Shyness, self-doubt, autism, alienation, inadequate self-esteem, aggressiveness, conflict, weak adaptive capabilities, etc. are called among the personality traits that contribute to the emergence of od. forced seclusion, weak self-esteem, social anxiety, communicative incompetence, distrust of people, inability to self-disclose, constant difficulties in choosing partners, fear of being rejected, fear of emotional closeness, sexual anxiety, uncertainty in one's desires, inadequate claims. D. Raadshelders et al. classified the types of emotionally lonely people: a) hopelessly lonely (with a feeling of abandonment, deprivation); b) periodically and temporarily lonely (with pronounced social activity); c) passively and steadily lonely (resigned to Od. and tired of him); d) not lonely (do not experience Od. in some cases of social isolation, they rather resort to voluntary seclusion). Lit .: Labyrinths of loneliness / Comp., Total. ed. and foreword. N.E. Pokrovsky. M., 1989; Grimak L.P. Communicating with oneself. M., 1991; He's the same. The coming century - the century of loneliness (to the problem of the Internet) // World of Psychology, 2000. No. 2; Lebedev V.I., Personality in extreme conditions. M., 1989; Shvalb Yu.M., Dancheva O. B. Loneliness. Kiev, 1991.E. V. Zinchenko

Everyone can feel lonely from time to time. This can be pain after parting with a loved one, the loss of a close relative, or moving to a new place after many years of living in the home. People can be lonely for a million different reasons.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is most often described as a negative emotional state that a person experiences when he notices the difference between the ideal relationship he would like to observe between himself and another person, and reality. The unpleasant feeling of loneliness is subjective - researchers have found that loneliness does not depend on how much time you spend with someone, or not. It has more to do with the quality of the relationship, rather than the quantity or duration. A lonely person can be in the company of other people, but feel that no one understands him, that these relationships with people do not make sense. For some people, the feeling of loneliness can be temporary and transient. Others cannot easily deal with this feeling, and this condition can only develop if the person does not have people with whom he could establish contact.

Basic signals

From an evolutionary point of view, human dependence on the group ensured the survival of man as a species. Accordingly, loneliness can be seen as a signal to join someone. And from this point of view, loneliness is much like hunger, thirst, or physical pain, which are signals that it is time to eat, drink, or seek medical attention. However, in modern society, neutralizing the signal of loneliness has become much more difficult than satisfying hunger, thirst, or treatment. Loneliness can develop in people who are not surrounded by other people who care about them.

Risk factor

Researchers have found that social isolation is a risk factor for many diseases, as well as premature death. Recent scientific works on this topic provide information that the lack of social connections poses for a person the same risk of early death as, for example, obesity. Loneliness is a risk factor for many physical illnesses and conditions, such as fragmented sleep, dementia, and even decreased cardiovascular performance.

Biological propensity

Some people may even be biologically more vulnerable to loneliness. Research has shown that the propensity for this feeling can even be inherited from parents and other ancestors. Much research has focused on how loneliness can result from a combination of certain genes and social and environmental factors (such as parental support). More often than not, loneliness as a mental condition that can be equated with other mental illnesses is completely ignored. Therefore, researchers still have a long way to go to fully understand exactly how this condition can affect a person's mental health. Indeed, much of the research on loneliness and mental health has focused solely on the relationship between loneliness and depression. While loneliness and depression are similar in some ways, they are still very different. Loneliness refers exclusively to negative feelings about the social world, while depression refers to a more general set of negative feelings. In a study that observed a state of loneliness in subjects for five years, it was found that it can be a harbinger of depression, but the opposite is not possible.

Loneliness is not a symptom of depression

This condition is very often mistakenly viewed as a common symptom of depression, or people assume that loneliness will disappear once doctors start treating their depression. Simply put, "single" people are forced to join social groups and make friends, with the expectation that the condition will disappear immediately after that.
And while creating a social platform for socializing and making new friends is the right step, don't assume that pain like this can be relieved so easily. People suffering from loneliness may have certain fears about social situations, and as a result they will reject the opportunity to create new connections - such is the human psyche.

Introduction

Loneliness is a socio-psychological state characterized by a lack of contact with society, emotional disinterest of the individual, and alienated behavior. Loneliness can be considered a social disease that affects the mass of individuals who experience this condition.

Studies have identified several types of lonely people. First, they are “hopelessly lonely”.

These people do not feel pleasure from their relationship, they did not have a spouse, a partner in their sexual life, they rarely establish a connection with any person. Often, these people feel detached, abandoned when communicating. They tend to blame other people for loneliness. This group includes the majority of divorced women and men.

Secondly, they are “temporarily lonely”.

These are people who are sufficiently attached to their friends or acquaintances, but lack intimate affection. They tend to be more likely than others to enter into social contacts in various places. Compared to others, they are the most socially active.

For such people, loneliness is something transient, they are less likely than other lonely people to feel abandoned. This group includes many men and women who have never been married. Third, they are "passively and persistently lonely." They feel a lack of an intimate partner, they lack other connections, but they do not express dissatisfaction. These people have come to terms with their position, accept it as inevitable, as given. This group includes the majority of the widowed.

It is now acceptable to be alone.

A service industry for single people is emerging. It has been established that such people are willing to spend more money on their vacations and tourism.

Any needs of single people can now be met by the service market. Abroad, there are special complexes for people who do not have families.

What is loneliness?

One of the acute problems of the modern world is the problem of loneliness, in which relationships do not develop, there is neither love, nor friendship, nor enmity, when people are indifferent to each other. A person becomes lonely when he realizes the inferiority of his relationships with other people, when a person experiences an acute deficit in communication.

Loneliness is a mental state of a person, which is accompanied by painful emotional experiences and a depressive mood. Very lonely people have few social contacts, they are very unhappy, communication with other people is limited. Loneliness is not always isolation. You can be among others, communicate with them, but still feel psychological isolation.

The level of loneliness is not related to the number of years a person has spent out of communication; people who live alone throughout their lives sometimes feel less lonely than people who often have to be around people and contact them. You cannot call a lonely person who does not show the reactions of loneliness, having little contact with others.

Symptoms of mental disorders usually accompany true subjective states of loneliness. They have the form of affects with a bright negative emotional connotation. All people have different affect reactions. Some people complain that they feel fear, anxiety, others complain of sadness, others talk about bitterness, anger.

The perfect representation of a relationship has a powerful effect on loneliness. People who are in dire need of communication will feel lonely when they have contact with a limited number of people, for example, one or two, while these people wanted to contact many. However, there are people who do not feel the need for communication, they may not feel that they are alone, even if they are completely isolated.

As a rule, a lonely person feels his isolation from others, considers it impossible for himself both normal interpersonal relationships and establishing relationships with other people, such as love or friendship. A lonely person is usually a depressed person who does not have the skills to communicate with other people, he considers himself unattractive, not like everyone else. He always says that he is not respected, not loved by any person in the world. Such an attitude of a lonely person to himself is accompanied by negative affects, which include such feelings as anger, unhappiness, sadness. Such a person avoids communication with others in every possible way, isolating himself from society.

The greatest pessimism is possessed by lonely people who feel pity for themselves, do not expect anything good from others, expect trouble from the future, life for them is empty and meaningless, they usually talk little, behave quietly, imperceptibly, look rather sad, tired and sleepy ... Despair, impatience, longing, lack of attractiveness in oneself, fear, depression, emptiness, helplessness, boredom, irritation, melancholy, alienation, isolation, lack of any hope are common emotional states of lonely people.

Lonely people are focused on themselves, on their problems and experiences. When communicating with others, they talk about themselves, and faster than other people change the topic of conversation, moreover, they have a slow reaction to the statements of the interlocutor. Such a person will be more aggressive, irritable, distrustful, always keeps his opinion to himself, often a hypocrite, they are not able to have fun in companies, it is difficult for them to call someone, agree on something. Lonely people have inadequate self-esteem, they are indifferent to how others treat them, or they try too hard to please them. They are very worried about communication with other people, complicity in various matters, openness, they consider themselves less competent, usually explain their failures by a lack of abilities, talents, and are limited in finding solutions to problems. When establishing an intimate relationship, a lonely person feels anxious.

For most people, loneliness depends on their low self-esteem, which makes them feel inner self-alienation. They see the reason for their loneliness in themselves, referring it to character flaws, lack of attractiveness, abilities. Often times, people react to loneliness by showing either depression or aggression. With the external locus of control, aggression is often formed, and with the internal locus, depression. People with low self-esteem expect others to have the same low opinion of them, and they have a keen reaction to refusal to communicate and various offers. But also, these people are most responsive to the calls of other people. They are very sensitive to criticism, and feel it as their own inferiority. And it's hard for them to take compliments in their address.

People are afraid of being refused communication, feeling embarrassed and frustrated, and this contributes to their loneliness. Because of fear, it becomes difficult for a person to overcome loneliness.

Loneliness can occur due to divorce, rupture of personal relationships, widowhood. In this case, it arises due to the psychological isolation of a person.

There are 3 types of loneliness. First, situational loneliness. It arises as a result of a stressful situation, for example, the death of a loved one, a break in relations. After some time, a person usually overcomes such loneliness. Secondly, it is chronic loneliness. It appears when a person cannot establish relationships with significant people for a long time. Thirdly, transient loneliness. This is a short-term loneliness that quickly passes, and leaves no traces behind.