When a man finds a mistress in order to take a break from family life and restore his self-esteem, he does not think about the fact that he can soon become so attached to a new passion that he will begin to consider it love. At some point, a man may catch himself thinking about what. Is it possible? The male site will expose all illusions by giving a clear answer to the question at hand.

To understand whether you love or not, you need to start with a definition of love. This is where the difficulties arise. People understand love differently. Some consider passionate feelings that a man can have for his mistress to be love. Others believe that love is a feeling of respect for another person whom you know and understand well. A man can feel the same way about his wife. Still others generally understand love as a kind of exciting feeling that pushes a person to think about only one partner. In such a situation, a man cannot love two women at the same time.

So, is it possible to love both women at once? Psychologists do not believe in such love, because they understand it as attachment to a person, which manifests itself in the desire to take care, help and maintain constant contact with a partner. Based on this, a man does not love his wife, because he hurts her with his relationship with another woman, as well as his mistress, who suffers while waiting for her man to divorce.

If a man wonders if he can love his wife and mistress at the same time, it may turn out that he does not love anyone at all, but confuses other experiences with a bright emotion.

Sex and love between a man and a woman are two fundamental components of a strong family relationship. For a number of reasons, many people have distorted these two concepts and acquired a certain base character. But families that are distinguished by their strength and friendship say that "love cannot be without sex, and sex cannot be without love."

Love is a mysterious feeling that arises in a person in relation to another and makes him take care and give everything, sparing no effort. The modern concept of love is like some kind of thunder from a clear sky, which strikes from the first seconds of meeting with the object of love. Psychologists objectively call this feeling passion, that is, there was a desire to be with another person, to get something new and interesting for oneself, but in this case there can be no question of any long and stable relationship.

Sex is the physical attraction of two people to each other for the purpose of self-satisfaction and the conception of a child. Our modern man in sexual terms has gone to two extremes: either he is a windy person who has sex with everyone in a row, or he “turns into a nun” and “no sex before marriage.” And all the supporters of this or that view talk about it as if they themselves came up with it and are experts.

The separation of love and sex from each other gives rise to a lot of psychosomatic diseases and pathological disorders. For example, there was a case when a girl was so faithful to her boyfriend that she mentally punished herself every time she liked another guy on the street. As a result, she developed a rash all over her body: “if you are not worthy of being attractive to others, then so be it.”

Having sex without love takes a lot of male energy. This is why men turn their backs on women after sex. And love without sex leads to a weakening of feelings and betrayals. When a person loves, he has a natural desire to touch the loved one. And if there is no desire, then love is not warmed up by anything, and the man is looking for the one who is interested in him.

Love and sex go hand in hand. Don't be fooled by other people's opinions. Let both be present in your relationship, mutually developing each other.

How is this possible?

Can a man love his wife and his mistress at the same time? Experts say that this is impossible. Why does a person think otherwise? He confuses one feeling with another.

A mistress definitely always evokes feelings in a man. If the mistress did not cause passion, then the man could not sleep with her. Thus, if a man confuses passion with love, then he falls into illusions.

Another misconception of a man may be that he thinks his mistress is ideal simply because she does not show the qualities that his wife demonstrates. It is a mistake to talk about love for a woman only because she does not have the shortcomings of a wife. It may turn out that the mistress has many other shortcomings that are not in the wife.

Another man may think that he loves his mistress, because she gives him the happiness that is lacking in his family life. The mistress knows what she must do, because otherwise the man will stop dating her. However, do not call "the way to solve your problems" love.

Why does a man think he loves his wife?

1. Guilt. In fact, a man feels guilty for his actions towards his wife. He feels pity for her, which he may confuse with love.
2. Respect. The wife, no matter how, lived with the man for a long time, gave him a lot, saw him in any form and accepted him that way. A man simply respects a woman who was able to accept him.
3. Habit. A man is so afraid to divorce his wife that he begins to confuse his fears with love.

Where does love for both women come from?

Why does a man begin to think that he loves two women at once? Let's see how the process happens. Why does a man start looking for a mistress? In his family relationships, something does not add up successfully and smoothly. A man, at the sight of a potential mistress, allows himself to be changed not only because of exploding hormones, but also because of the desire to finally satisfy all his needs.

A man begins a love relationship with his mistress. Naturally, he becomes happy. Both women give him everything he needs. One serves him, raises his children, and the second satisfies him morally and physically. A man is imbued with feelings for his mistress, who excites him and again makes him enjoy life.

At the same time, relations with his wife are improving. After all, a man ceases to quarrel with her and find flaws in her. All his needs are satisfied, so everything that the wife does suits the man. As quarrels stop, relationships are built. And it may seem to a man that the former love for his wife has been renewed.

In fact, it turns out that a man does not love anyone, but simply feels a sense of satisfaction due to the fact that all his problems were solved at the expense of two women.

With whom to leave, and with whom to stay?

Love cannot exist for two people at the same time. A man, most likely, does not love anyone, otherwise it would be easier for him to determine who is dearer to him. Love can only exist for one person. And if a dilemma arises, then the man does not see in any of the women the only one with whom he would like to stay. However, this will not save a man from having to decide who to stay with.

• It is unlikely that a wife will accept a mistress if she finds out about her husband's secret life.
• It is unlikely that the mistress will agree to forever remain second after his wife and not play her wedding with a man.

Therefore, you will have to choose and part with someone. This decision will be painful in any case. You will have to choose between what to give up in order to stay with the rest of the benefits. In other words, a man does not want to make a decision to part with one of the women, because he will have to limit himself in some way, while with two women he has everything.

Since it will not be possible to sit on two chairs, a man must make a decision. The following points will help here:

1. What are you willing to give up? What future do you want to face?
2. Whom do you really, at least a little bit, but love? To whom does a man have a stronger attachment?

Should I go to my mistress?

A man may think that it is time to go to his mistress, because she evokes feelings in him, excites, sexually arouses. He is already tired of the monotonous life with his wife, but with his mistress it is interesting. To understand whether it is necessary to go to his mistress, a man should think about whether this is:

• Escape from family life.
• Deficiency of feelings.

A mistress must satisfy a man completely in all plans. If this is not the case, then the man is likely to change the awl for soap. The mistress also has its drawbacks. She, too, may eventually begin to not satisfy a man. Family life with her can generally develop even worse than with her ex-wife.

In order not to break firewood, a man sometimes needs to wait a bit. If you are just faced with a dilemma of who you love more, then it is better to give yourself time. The mistress has not yet shown herself, and the conflicts in the family have so far only subsided, but have not completely disappeared. It is necessary to let yourself calm down in order to figure out what a man feels for each of the women.

I love both my wife and my mistress - the opinion of psychologists

What do psychologists think about love for both a wife and a man's mistress? Their opinions differ. Some people think that love does not have a specific object, but can be all-encompassing. Others believe that love is different, so a man can love two women differently. There are adherents of one-faced love who believe that it is impossible to love two or more people.

Be that as it may, a man must understand that every woman (wife and mistress) gives him something for which he feels feelings for them. One provides him with a family, the other serves him physically and psychologically. He, accordingly, also gives them different things, which is why love is different.

What is a man to do in the end?

You can let the situation take its course, which is not bad if a man still decides over time the question of who to stay with and who to leave. However, if you leave everything as it is, you can end up losing a person who is actually dear. Therefore, a man needs to think carefully or even use the services of psychologists.

“I love my wife ... And I love my mistress ... How can I be?” This disposition occurs to me from time to time in my work.

Decided to make a note about it. Without the task of correcting someone, so - for information.

Despite the name and the disposition outlined above, the note is equally suitable for both men and women. The situation when one person loves two at once - after all, it occurs in both men and women.

Let's start by clarifying the main thing - is it possible to love two at once?

The answer, as usual, depends on the semantic content of the verb "to love." If you think that “to love” means “to experience a feeling of warm affection”, then you can. Even three can be warmly attached. Even to four. Why, there are people who can warmly attach themselves to hundreds of individuals at once.

It’s another matter if we say “love”, but we hear “show mutual active care” or “demonstrate dopaminergic goal-setting motivation to form and maintain stable pair bonds” (who said that Zygmantovich writes too primitive notes? Try to chew this definition!) .

With such meanings, it is impossible to love two people. Because if you show care, you will not hurt your wife by showing such care to another woman. And if you strive to form stable pair bonds, then you will not begin to form these bonds with someone else except for your husband (because then the connection with him will be unstable).

It turns out that it is impossible to love two people at once (unless, of course, you use adequate definitions of love).

But there are situations when a man seems to love his wife - and immediately loves his mistress! And there are situations when a woman loves her husband - and immediately loves her lover. How so?

There are, I think, three explanations for this.

First(very simple). In the cases described, the verb "love" is simply incorrectly (incorrectly) used. For example, a woman loves her lover, but lives with her husband simply because, for example, there is nowhere else to live (or for some similar near-rational reason - children, mortgages, social pressure). This explanation is obvious, so we won't dwell on it for a long time.

Second explanation (harder). By and large, this is a variation of the first, but it is very bright - it can be distinguished separately. It's about a situation where a person also uses the verb "love" incorrectly. With this verb, he calls his dependence on some manifestations of another person. I wrote more about this in the article “Why did I leave the family? I don’t know ... ”(link to it is at the end of the text), so I won’t repeat myself.

Third explanation (largest). You can’t love two at once, but you can be in a state of choice - who exactly to love. Now I'll tell you more.

How does a mistress or lover appear? Almost always - against the background of weakening feelings for a partner. Why such a weakening occurs is not the topic of this note, as well as the issue of refreshing feelings (there is a separate webinar about this, a link to it will be below).

Now we are interested in something else - the scheme of development of the situation "I love them both."

So, feelings weakened, a lover / mistress appeared. The romance is developing on the side, it seems to everyone that the situation is obvious, everyone understands what is going on ... But here, as a rule, the unexpected happens.

Namely: in a strange way, relations with a spouse are improving.

How this happens is a separate big conversation. Here there is a contribution from hormones, and purely psychological mechanisms (for example, pressure from a mistress), and variables unknown to science (not yet known).

The main thing is that the trend is noticeable - often after the appearance of a lover / mistress, relations in the husband-wife pair improve (knowledgeable people will immediately recall the special term “triangulation”).

And in this situation, a person finds himself in a state of choice - with whom to stay after all. It is this state that is called "to love two." Yes, I insist (or am I not the most categorical psychologist in the world?). It is the state of choice between two men that is called "I love both," it is the state of choice between two women that is called "I love both."

As such, love is not here yet. It will appear later - when a person decides in his choice.

So, it turns out, the main question is to decide on the choice. And you need to decide - some of the relationships need to end, otherwise the body simply will not stand it. An unfinished relationship is like a splinter. All the time they interfere and strive to turn into an abscess and blood poisoning.

Relationships must end, this is an axiom.

How exactly do you choose who to end a relationship with? Here I will not tell you - it's none of my business. But how to end a relationship is up to me, I can do it.

This is not so much about the end of a relationship that is still alive, but about the end of a relationship that outwardly ended a few years ago. Well, you know how it happens - people continue to live in the hope of returning, in new relationships they behave as in the previous ones, they constantly compare a new potential partner and an old one ... There is no benefit from this, only harm. You need to understand that in order to start a new relationship, you need to end the old one.

I have collected all the most effective psychological ways to end old relationships in one audio training.

And I have everything, thank you for your attention.

Promised notes and links:

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I love my wife... And I love my mistress too: 58 comments

1. Maria

   but how can a man choose between two women if he has already chosen his wife officially before.?

2. Alexei

   But what about the eastern polygamous families?

3. Ivan

   Pasha, hello! Thanks for the interesting article.

   You write that "the main question is to decide on the choice." But if the choice occurs virtually every day, how can you say whether you have decided or not?

   For example, I love my girlfriend, and everything is fine with us, but when I see other beautiful and NEW girls for me, I am very drawn to them. Not in the sense you want to sleep straight, but rather you want some kind of flirting or her attention. But I want to strongly, straight blows the roof. At first, she seems very beautiful and so mysterious, but after a couple of minutes of communication, it usually becomes less interesting, you find some flaws (comparing with your girlfriend). And lets go ... exactly until the next time.

   Because of this, I feel guilty and start looking for explanations: this girl has longer legs, and this one has a more attractive smile. In general, sometimes I feel like I'm trying to find the perfect girl. But I am sure that when I find it, I will still stare at the new ones, simply because they are different.

   Obviously my search behavior has not ended, I have to make a choice every day with difficulty. Are there methods, and if so, which ones, to accept your choice and believe in it?

   1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post Author

      Hi Ivan!

      You write that "the main question is to decide on the choice." But if the choice occurs virtually every day, how can you say whether you have decided or not?
      _Here is such a thing - the choice happens every day, that's right. You can make a choice at the moment of choice. That is, if it is every day, then every day you need to make a choice. The final decision can be made only after death 🙂

      For example, I love my girlfriend, and everything is fine with us, but when I see other beautiful and NEW girls for me, I am very drawn to them.
      _This means that you have a search behavior (as you correctly write) and, therefore, you have not yet decided whether you want to live in a pair with your girlfriend. Actually, there is exactly one method here - to start living in a pair.

      Simply put - get married 🙂 Well, or at least indicate to everyone (and to yourself too) that you are a couple. Put on the ring, status on the social network, tell your friends 🙂

      1. Ivan

         Pash, thanks for the answer 😉 We have been living together for about a year now. Sometimes I’m extremely happy, and sometimes I want to break free and run away =) I thought the reason for this was that I once missed the stage of “relationship without obligations”, didn’t work up - study, science, work ... And now I’m 27 and I myself I understand that it's time to settle down and even want to, that's the paradox.

         Pash, do I understand you correctly that in order to finally deal with this search behavior, you need to understand - do I want to be with this girl or not? Those. should i get married? It just scares me that the price of a mistake is high. But, of course, it’s even more frightening to lose everything and these constant doubts are insanely exhausting - any certainty is better =)

4. Yuri

   You have a very strange definition of love, under which you adjust your reasoning. I think that for many, love has nothing to do with the desire to form stable pair bonds. They also love other people's spouses, and without the desire to make the spouse their own, there is love in an open marriage and in a thousand different situations.
   The axiomatic nature of the need for choice is also by no means obvious. A lot of people are happy just from having multiple love objects without having to make a choice.

5. Tamara

   Pavel, bravo! Everything is so easy and clear. Once again I take my hat off to you

6. Natalia

   Thank you!
   Until they understand that love and falling in love - attraction - egoism - attachment are still different, they will call one another ...

7. margarita

   Still, it would be interesting to know about the selection algorithm. I am already completely confused between two men, and I can’t even imagine how to choose one of them. So I go back and forth, but this is bad for me, and for them, to put it mildly, unpleasant. I understand that I need to stop somewhere, but I can’t.

   1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post Author

      Margarita, first of all, you need to stop choosing. That is, for a month or more not to see and not communicate 🙂

8. Murka

   Everything about you is strange. Like on the shelves. And when you love a person because he cares about you, loves you. When you understand that a child loves both dad and mom. BUT when the same person breaks down on you, if there are problems at work, does not want sex. But even close to talking about a divorce is not. Convenient, good.
   And when there is a person who does not yell, who wants you, hears. BUT who, like you, has a family in which it is comfortable and good, well, there is not enough sex, well, the wife sometimes mows, and who does not. There is a child who also loves both mom and dad.
   And two not free people think about each other, love each other and understand that there is no point in making a choice here :))) That's how you love two.

9. Murka

   And yes, it's been going on for over 6 years.

10. Murka

    In, even if a psychologist cannot figure it out)) How can ordinary inhabitants understand this range of feelings :))))
    I speak easier. Sometimes, it seems to me, making a choice does not make sense or is simply not possible. Therefore, people dangle, now to his wife, then to his mistress. (Now to her husband, then to her lover) And they really love sincerely both. And they cannot make a choice, since love is a multifaceted concept. It's like choosing between the left hand and the right, which one to cut off, because both are needed. So you can live your whole life, and happily.
    I personally love my husband. He cares, loves, I love sex with him, I love to cook for him, I love to lie on the couch with him and watch a movie, etc. But I hate his uncompromisingness, irascibility and harshness, also slowness and not love for noisy companies.
    And my lover is a completely different person, loves noisy companies, always listens and supports, does not shout, loves. BUT he is careless in everyday life, he doesn’t know how to take care, he loves alcohol (not to the point of losing his pulse, but more fun), but I don’t like drunk people, etc.
    Now, if I could make one person out of the two of them, I would be happy )) But the ideal man does not exist, just like the ideal woman.

    And problems begin only when one of the two women (men) begins to pull the blankets over themselves. Then yes, the question of choice arises ) And this is how you can live and be happy )) And most importantly, sincerely love two!

11. Ilya

    That's how it is - and I thought that love is a feeling that, in principle, cannot be put under any definition, I love both my wife and my mistress, I love it in different ways, but they are different, but what I wrote the author - I think this is nonsense, you can’t put feelings under definitions !!!

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post Author

       Ilya, it is possible, very possible 🙂

12. Anonymous

    I love my wife, I have a mistress whom I can’t refuse in the family, there are children, but I can’t make a choice

13. vadim

    I lived with my wife for 15 years! lets go says she won’t live without me!?! I feel very sorry for her, she’s a good person and she’s not guilty of anything! what should I do, kind people, please give me advice, I’m lost!

14. Konstantin

    Good time of the day.
    based on your conclusions, you draw the bottom line -
    a person is SHARPENED to love one / y.
    That is, according to your conclusions, if you exclude sexual components, a partner cannot love his children and parents. He/she is not imprisoned.
    I think your acquaintance with the polygamous families of the East is very superficial, if you draw such conclusions, but God be your judge.
    I'm sure you're familiar with the term POLYAMORE RELATIONSHIPS, where there's no limit to living with just one partner. And there is no lie, so the concept of treason does not exist there. By common agreement, they live together.
    So here's the question: who SHARPENED a person within the framework of one partner?
    
    why is polygamy allowed in Judaism and Islam (and many other religions)?

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post Author

       Good day, Konstantin.

       That is, according to your conclusions, if you exclude sexual components, a partner cannot love his children and parents. He/she is not imprisoned.
       _These are your conclusions, not mine 🙂 It's convenient to attribute your conclusions to me and disagree with me on this basis 🙂

       I am sure you are familiar with the term POLYAMORE RELATIONSHIPS, in which there are no restrictions - to live with only one partner. And there is no lie, so the concept of treason does not exist there. By common agreement, they live together.
       There are also polyandrous marriages - when one woman has many husbands. The world is so diverse

       So here's the question: who SHARPENED a person within the framework of one partner?
       _Evolution. She's cursed

       
       Why in the tribes: unfamiliar with the concept of world revolution.
       why is polygamy allowed in Judaism and Islam (and many other religions)?
       _ Above, I mentioned the tribes where polyandry is allowed. It is obvious that this is a consequence of the conditions of life. The Jews and Muslims you mention are moving towards monogamous marriages at the first opportunity. Like this 🙂

15. Ermis

    Behind the husband, there is a lover. I love both .. Sometimes I want to quit everything and go to my lover (He doesn’t call, He’s not married, he only meets me) sometimes he skews towards my husband and I think to erase my lover’s number, especially if he doesn’t call, he’s busy .. .. But not I can decide on anything. I am tormented and afraid of losing one of them.

16. Tatyana

    Hello Pavel. I read your article about the choice and straight heart ached. It seems like it looks like the truth, and from a scientific point of view, maybe it’s right (I’m not special), I’ll just say now about my feelings from what I read. The feeling that this is such an interesting game, which is simply called "choice" and people choose in a circle of this and that, and they can also give a link to such an article;) my choice - I have the right. In fact, this is pure selfishness. does not suit this one, but on the side I will get what I lack. This is not a choice - this is theft and deceit, just a betrayal veiled under the word choice + infantile not wanting to work on yourself and relationships. The choice was made once - at the altar, and then you can't choose. You seem to admit the possibility of blurring the boundaries of marriage with these various clever psychological terms and points 1,2,3. the most interesting thing is that “gulens” will even justify themselves 🙂 and they write here again mostly ordinary “gulens” who are primarily concerned only with their comfort, but no one thinks about their responsibility and about the pain that they cause both spouses and children. this is generally a destructive position for the family as such. (My opinion) I want to be chosen only once. For reference: there were two husbands who loved to choose and could not understand in any way. I made this choice for them. Divorce and property in half.

17. Otto

    It is very sad to read such a set of allegations, as in this article. At least this phrase: “if you show care, you will not hurt your wife by showing such care to another woman.” Just one of the possible, of course traditional, especially on this part of the land, but essentially neurotic, the option of building relationships is extolled here as the only correct one. While more and more people are choosing to live differently.

18. RoNasva

    But after all, there are situations when a man seems to love his wife - and immediately loves his mistress! And there are situations when a woman loves her husband - and immediately loves her lover. How so?

19. Anna

    It’s even funny to read the comments of people who cover up their inflated ego with love, allegedly love both their spouse (a) and their mistress (ka). They love only themselves. If you love your spouse, there will be no other person in your life. Love is, above all, respect for a loved one and acceptance of him as he is. All people are different, but if they really love each other, they work on themselves and relationships, and do not seek compensation for any character traits in other people. Not enough, you gentlemen, responsibility! And if you suddenly realize that the relationship does not suit you and has become obsolete, then it would be more honest to file a divorce, and not lie. And in general, write about the shortcomings of spouses and lovers, but are you perfect? Your love is called by another word….

It is extremely difficult to build harmonious relationships without betrayal, and often families are destroyed precisely because of infidelity. Asking whether a man can love his wife and his mistress at the same time, all parties in this triangle are usually looking for a favorable solution to the situation.

Why does a man need a mistress if he loves his wife - trying to solve this mystery, many ladies go crazy, wandering in the back streets of male psychology. Everything is actually very simple, and the presence of a mistress can be easily explained by the desire to add variety to your life.

Marriage is often exhausting for a member of the opposite sex. Every day he sees one face, passion in sex disappears, love emotions gradually subside. At some point, a man becomes so bored that he goes to the left, while deep down continuing to love his wife. Similar betrayals from boredom or oversaturation with everyday life are also characteristic of women.

Sometimes members of the opposite sex are captured by completely new feelings. A young lover shows unprecedented agility in bed, she seems so bright, interesting, unlike his wife, whom a man has known for a long time. As a result, the representative of the stronger sex is covered with new feelings.

So who do men love more: a wife or a mistress who can destroy a marriage? It is definitely impossible to answer, but you need to immediately make a reservation that it is impossible to love both. Often a man feels sympathy for a new passion, but he sincerely loves only his wife. There are times when a representative of the stronger sex has sincere feelings for his mistress, and feelings for his wife are associated only with elementary affection.

One way or another, it is simply impossible to love both: the human heart is capable of conflicting feelings, but there are always more emotions in relation to one of the women. no matter how much a man resists, deep down he knows perfectly well to whom his heart lies.

If a man cannot make a choice, he can imagine his life first without one, and then without another woman. Feelings towards the wife usually turn out to be stronger, if only because the couple experienced many joyful and sad moments together. Feelings in relation to a mistress are usually based on elementary lust, passion. That is why such emotions quickly disappear, and repentant men return to the family. However, this does not mean at all that women should forgive them. In many cases, divorce becomes the only effective way to deal with endless male infidelity.

It often happens that a man does not just get a mistress, but equips himself with a real harem. Despite the presence of an official wife, a dozen other ladies can visit his bed in a year. Such a representative of the stronger sex usually tells his wife that other women mean nothing to him, and he considers them only as one-day mistresses.

Psychologists are sure that such representatives of the stronger sex do not love anyone but themselves. How else can one explain the desire to deliver such severe pain to his wife, mother of his children? A man may regret, may ask for forgiveness, but his behavior is unlikely to ever change.

Such a pathological liar also does not particularly sympathize with mistresses. He needs them only to satisfy elementary physical needs, and therefore communication with them rarely lasts longer than one night.

Despite all his irrepressible sexual energy, such a man may eventually stop. To do this, he will either have to endure reciprocal betrayal and bitterness from her, or fall in love for real. Sometimes a strong, sincere feeling changes a person, makes him change his habits. That's just the re-education of such a traitor can take several years, which for his regular partner will turn into a nightmare.

Finding out about a husband's infidelity is a huge blow, and often women simply do not understand why the problem has arisen. They try to justify their partners, to inspire themselves with the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe endless love of their spouse. However, betrayals often occur against the background of an elementary withering of feelings, and it is pointless to fight for such a relationship, because the partner is already in love with another.

Very often a woman becomes a mistress spontaneously. It is unlikely that there are those who, all their adult lives, have dreamed of just such a role, of a strange man. Most normal women want to have their own family, their own man, who will completely belong only to them.

And so, the woman meets her prince, who turns out to be married. I don’t immediately have the courage to give up my happiness, because it’s so good with him. So she decides to wait - let everything go on as usual, and then life will show.

However, practice shows that life in the end does not show anything, but only passes, and passes by the mistress. And the chances that you can start it again are very small ...

If you are a mistress, we will give you some tips that will help you move from this rank to another, or not get into such a compromising position at all.

So, if you are still caught in the network of a married man, you should forever forget about what marriage is!

In the event that you still have hopes for an alliance in the distant future, you simply call yourself differently - a friend, a concubine. Because if marriages do occur (and this happens, well, extremely rarely!) then most often they marry precisely a cohabitant, and not a mistress. That is, a man marries a woman who has already proven her mastery of housekeeping, of course, in addition to her other main duties.

If you happen to become a mistress, you should not act contrary to all standards in the style of a vamp. As a rule, a fairly small number of men aspire to this type of women - as well as mountaineering without insurance or hunting a whale with a fishing rod. So throw aside fishnet stockings, high heels, very short skirts, bright lipstick and nail polish. A man will not fall into a frank trap, because by nature he is not as stupid as it seems to women.

You should not be interested in your man about what kind of family life he has!

In any case, you will not hear the truth if it is unpleasant for him. If everything is fine with him there, then it will only bring you harm.

Here you can say even more - if a man starts complaining about his wife to you, then things are bad. He just needs an analyst, not a mistress.

For any holiday, you yourself will be the best gift for him!

In no case do not give him (be it a reason or there is no such reason) cufflinks, ties, colognes, razors, lighters, watches, key chains and other things. Millet is how you teach him to react to each of your comings not to you, but to a new toy that you have to save for him. So you will become for him only a kind aunt who always stores gifts for him, and if there is no gift, then she can be offended.

You should not expect from him that he will shower you with gifts, especially if in your first meetings you had to pay for yourself in a restaurant, tram, cinema and other places. However, your direct duties include - to teach your man to come to you with gifts, even if it is a small bouquet of snowdrops.

You must very carefully drive the following thought into your man’s head - you would not marry him for any treasures in the world if he were at least three times free because you yourself, above all, value individual freedom!

At the same time, you must definitely leave aside your personal life for him, because he does not fit into it ...

This will definitely play its role, as an element of mystery, and besides the assurance that you do not need him as a husband, it can work in the opposite direction. And it's only to your advantage. Your man will stay with you exactly as long as it will be beneficial to you.

Do not hide from him what you do not like in his behavior.

Be sure to point out to him that you are not thrilled by his habit of combining watching football with a date. You are annoyed by some of his habits - so tell him about it directly, do not pretend to be a sufferer. And if you really like something, on the contrary, you need to let him know how important it is for you.

If your lover is not the president or secretary of the UN, in no case do not adapt to him, according to his schedule and free time!

All men are able to make their schedule as flexible as they need it to be, so it's great for him to meet you when it's convenient for you. If you do not let him know that he needs it first of all, you run the risk of becoming a call girl, and the difference will only be in price.

Be sure to stay relaxed and yourself!

You don't have to try to fall in love with his predilection for intellectual or auteur cinema if you yourself enjoy watching Mexican TV series. Tell him directly that your mind is not strong enough for such hobbies. So you will get a double benefit - deprive yourself of the pleasure of watching this genre of films and subtly approach your man, who (like all men) is sure from birth that no woman is smart enough for him. He must be smarter because he's just a man.

And most importantly - be sure to plan all your actions in such a way that all the initiative comes supposedly from the man himself.

You must convince him by any means that he is seeking you, and not vice versa. If you do everything right, then any man will be yours.

But there is another nuance here - what do men themselves think about their mistresses?

We already know perfectly well what mistresses think about wives, what wives think about mistresses, but the opinions of men about both are unknown to us.

Men don't do it the same way women do.

Girls can tell their friends everything to the smallest detail, but real men are silent in the circle of friends on two topics - on the topic of wives and on the topic of a mistress.

As a rule, in the company you can only chat about ex-girlfriends. They are of the opinion that a man in love should enjoy the moment, and when his eyes are opened, he himself will come and lay everything out.

Usually, the topic of conversation can only be sex - such a boastful topic, during which they share about the quantity and quality of such relationships with this or that girl (mostly ex). At the same time, most often men like to lie about everything - sizes, relationships and everything else.

Anyway, a lover for a normal man is a closed topic, because often he himself cannot determine why he turns her on and what prospects await her and him in the future.

Do not miss. . .

Our relationship -

Not a single representative of the fair sex is immune from the situation when she is overtaken by love for a man who has already managed to marry another woman.

In such situations, numerous unforeseen questions arise and, of course, after each communication, excitement grows. How will the romantic story develop?

How to find out if a married man loves you and make sure of it? In addition, it is not always possible to immediately understand how high the chances of developing a romantic relationship become, not to mention the opportunity to stay together ...

Signs that a married man is in love

There are several signs that a married man really has an interest in another person.

Communication

Married men behave differently with girls who have managed to please them. It all depends on the nature of the representative of the stronger sex. On the question of how to find out whether a married man truly loves you or not, you need to understand one serious limitation that exists - a stamp in your passport.

Attention from a married man does not always mean something serious

It is possible that restrictions will be noted in communication, which sooner or later will lead to reasonable suspicions.

If a man is not ready to betray his wife, any contact will be prevented

Sometimes, after all, a married man is not ready to deal with his feelings, the existing cravings. In this situation, he is ready to act openly with his chosen one. Such manifestations of love can be dismissive., it's not so easy to admit that the wife no longer causes any interest. However ... you can’t get away from feelings, so sometimes romantic notes begin to appear more and more often and sincerely.

Man's behavior

Sooner or later, actions betray the true attitude of a married man towards his mistress. Interested in how to find out if a married man loves you, you need to understand that Can't hide real feelings...

If a girl needs help, a man will find a way to contribute to the successful solution of an existing issue. Even if there is a desire to prevent contacts, help will be provided indirectly, through other people.

Body language and gestures

In many situations, true feelings are manifested in gestures that are not so easy to control. Many girls try to understand how to find out if a married man loves you or just has a passion for you, they forget that body language becomes an amazing discovery of the meaning of all actions.

What features to pay attention to?

• long stares- this is the first and very shy step of two people in love who are still trying to fight what is emerging between them ...
• You can follow the fleeting movements of the eyebrows. If a man is in love with a girl, he will make an involuntary movement of his eyebrows for one second.
• Every man tries to look irresistible in front of a girl. which interests him. For this reason, he will straighten his shoulders, raise his head and draw in his stomach. All this will testify to the desire to please.
• Classic intimate gesture- placing the thumbs behind the trouser belt. Sometimes a man can keep one hand on his hips or sit on a chair, stretching his legs. Such changes indicate that he is trying to show his physical strength and willingness to be with a girl.
• The desire for intimacy often manifested by the fact that a man gently takes a girl by her hand or accidentally touches her hair. Such gestures ensure that a man is pleased to be around, so he wants to prolong this pleasure.

Even if communication turns out to be unnecessarily strained, it is recommended to take care to pay special attention to gestures and think about why a married man behaves a little playfully ...

Signs of attention from a man

Important fact! Signs of attention that can come from a man say a lot. In the initial period of communication or romantic relationships, it is possible to understand how the situation is in reality.

If everything calmed down and became commonplace, there will be no chance for positive changes.

Men show their attention in different ways, because not all of them are ready for cardinal changes in life and active rapprochement with a girl. Only free guys are ready to take care of girls passionately, trying to successfully cope with the tasks.

A married man can offer help in a friendly or sympathetic way.

In fact, if the marriage is not going as well as we would like, the chances of starting a romantic relationship increase significantly.

Perhaps, after all, there will be a transition to the romantic stage of communication with a further perspective ... But you should not think so far, because you first need to understand how to find out if a married man loves you.

The girl, despite her status as a potential lover, retains good opportunities to try to get close to her beloved man. If a man tries to help in difficult situations, encourage and inspire, you don’t need to act recklessly, immediately showing your interest.

How to understand the intentions of a married man

The first and most important task is to try to understand the true intentions of a married man. To do this, it is advisable to start with friendship, disposing your chosen one to learn more about the relationship with your wife, to understand what their marriage is and whether there are problems.

A long look indicates a clear interest

If you managed to find out about the married status of a new acquaintance right away, it is recommended to end any relationship. Otherwise, the question may arise, how to find out just having fun, or the answer about whether a married man loves you will be joyful and encouraging.

Carefully! Of course, there are cases where marriages break down after the love passes and people make a serious decision to break up. However, many situations confirm that the man did not even plan his divorce at first.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to 100% know the thoughts and desires of another person, but it is possible and necessary to try to predict the development of the situation.

If, nevertheless, the relationship is laid down and promises to be happy, you won’t have to wait long for a divorce.. Nothing good should be expected if a man is constantly looking for numerous excuses and does not even strive to take a serious and decisive step.

It's very frustrating to listen to all the new excuses and excuses every time.

Relationships can be given a chance, but only up to a certain point, because sooner or later it becomes clear that nothing good will happen.

Is it necessary to build a relationship with a married man

Life is an unpredictable thing, therefore it is impossible to give an unambiguous answer regarding relations with a married man. In any case, such a romantic relationship promises to be dubious. The woman will be judged by other people who will not approve of trying to take someone else's husband away from his wife.

Doubt and uncertainty are unpleasant moments of such a romantic connection.

Interesting fact! If a man cheats on his wife and takes active steps in a relationship with his mistress, we can assume that there are serious problems in family life. For example, womanizers cannot live without new relationships, and a husband disappointed with life is not ready to be faithful to his wife.

However, sometimes relationships have a perspective, because forced marriage or early marriage can collapse quite often.

How to build relationships

If a girl nevertheless decides on a relationship with a married man and values ​​them, she needs to know how to behave with him correctly.

What can and should be done

• First of all, it is recommended to understand that relationships are built on the positive and the absence of conflicts and quarrels. For this reason, it is recommended to adhere to the correct tactics with a married man.
• It is desirable to enjoy relationships at the beginning, without thinking about the future. Pleasure can be obtained from romance and sex. Of course, it is advisable to treat your personal future with respect, so it is undesirable to delay communication without prospects for a long time.
• The personal time of a married man cannot be claimed, as it becomes a valuable gift for his family.

He still has to go, react calmly

• Aggression can destroy any romance, so it is advisable to control the mood.
• A lover cannot be forbidden anything. Even if a man decides to meet with friends, his decision must be respected.
• Patience can be valuable. If a girl is interested in how to find out if a married man loves you, it is best to gradually bring him to the need for a divorce. Only tact and understanding of the current situation will help to maintain relations.

What not to do

How can one not behave if there is a desire to maintain the existing relationship as long as possible?

• the spouse of the beloved cannot be criticized or blamed, trying to emphasize his leadership;
• you should not tell your friends about the secret, because no one from outsiders should know about the relationship;
• you can not abuse whims;
• you can not put pressure on the chosen one and demand a divorce;
• it is not recommended to impose your society on a man.

Relations between lovers will be happy and promising only if both parties find a particle of happiness in what they can build or destroy.

Communication with a married man: love or problems?

Many girls are ready to be mistresses of married men, but at the same time, the question regarding the prospects for relationships continues to remain open. You need to understand that only the person who finds himself in a love triangle has the opportunity to make his final choice and put everything in its place.

Mistresses often worry about a shared future with their lover, so they are not always ready to maintain a romantic union for a long time.

Is it worth becoming part of a love triangle - you decide

Before you set the perspective, you need to understand the characteristics of marriage. Most often, men in whose relationship problems are noted decide to cheat.. If coziness and comfort always reign at home, there is a happy and loving wife, nothing bad will happen. The only exceptions are the womanizers.

For this reason, it is necessary not only to understand how to find out whether a passionately and truly married man loves you or not, it is advisable to analyze the situation from all sides, and then make the right decision regarding the relationship.

Perhaps you still need to give a chance for romantic feelings, which over time can only become stronger?

What should a girl do if she falls in love with a married man? Watch video tips:

Find out the opinion of a specialist on the meaning of a relationship with a married man from the following video:

What is a married man looking for on the side? The answer will be given by a video consultation of a psychologist: