Very short but cheerful and truthful comic horoscope - 10 principles of each sign of the zodiac!

And really, why many words, if everyone can say about everyone, just a few short offers. So we bring to your attention, the next comic horoscope - 10 principles of each sign of the zodiac. And although this comic horoscope did not make up the site astrologer site, however, we hope that it will bring you no less pleasure than others merry horoscopes from our site. Read,

And although this time we did not find the authors of this horoscope, and our astrologer, not fully agree with some even comic conclusions, hopes that this merry horoscope About 10 principles of each sign of the zodiac, make you smile and get another charge of positive energy site!

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of each zodiac sign:

Aries - one Aries - Good, two Aries - a lot!

1. It is better not to argue with me.
2. I'll first do, then think.
3. Where the rest are slow, I am a member of gas.
4. I will be forever young.
5. Do how me, because you still can't do anyway.
6. The most difficult to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
7. Stubbornness is not a vice.
8. Easily control the situation is harder - its emotions.
9. One Aries - Good, two Aries - a lot.
10. The first is not attacking. But do not let me hurt me.

Taurus is better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset!

1. It is not a pity for the purchase of a purchase, sorry for the golyanka.
2. I do not need someone else's, do not touch my.
3. The worst world is better than good quarrel.
4. Do not confuse someone who sat well.
5. Better beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
6. Food is a serious thing.
7. Affectionate calf - two matters sucks.
8. When you go second, save power.
9. I can't stand one-time lighters.
10. Tastor is my true calling.

Gemini - one mind is good, and two are better, especially if both belong to the same person!

1. I'm not like yesterday today.
2. Who owns the situation, he owns information.
3. One mind is good, and two better, especially if both belong to the same person.
4. Figaro here, Figaro there.
5. The idea of \u200b\u200bboth the products should not be covered.
6. One TV, the phone in the house is good, and three better.
7. Who did not have time, he was late.
8. I move in life as a scooter on water, I do not deepen, but quickly.
9. At the Bazaar "For the Bazaar" I do not answer.
10. I love the quantity, because the quality is not enough time.

Cancer is hard to live where there is no place to hide!

1. My house, my fortress.
2. Nursing with others - here is my true vocation.
3. It would be nice to stock all in the world, and patience and jam.
4. Everything comes to the one who can wait.
5. Meet friends with friends, and not in a cafe.
6. Nothing does not heat the soul as the appearance of the refrigerator.
7. It is better to die, but a worthy thing to buy.
8. It is hard to live where there is no place to hide.
9. I carry my past, like a punctured backpack
10. Are you really able to wear a coat in twenty years?

Lion - Despite your friendly look, I'm in the soul dictator!

1. I will lead you away in the distance.
2. It is better to provide support than getting it.
3. Pleasant manners - half of the success.
4. The sun shines the lions.
5. Beautiful sign on the cabinet door is more important than high salary.
6. I love to earn well, and even more spend.
7. The piano in the house is better than the piano, even if it is not for someone to play.
8. Despite your friendly look, I'm in the soul dictator.
9. If done in the big one.
10. Why do you need the sun if I am with you ???

Virgo - modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a virgin!

1. Patience and work will achieve everything.
2. Modesty decorates not only a girl, but also a virgin.
3. Everyone lives for itself, but serves others.
4. The order is needed everywhere: both in thoughts and in the kitchen.
5. Prove me strictly logically that we are created for each other.
6. Krivo hanging the regiment, drives me crazy.
7. On a large scale, I'm lost.
8. It is difficult for me to extract bones from a whole bucket of cherry.
9. In each vir, a class lady lives.
10. Amanita will certainly need to rush into the eyes, and a white mushroom - and so good.

Scales - the most opposed to arguing!

1. Without a partner, like without hands.
2. The most opposed to arguing.
3. Defend agreeing.
4. There are only fools in principle.
5. In ordering anyone, anywhere.
6. Beauty will save the world.
7. Everything must be done under the mood.
8. The most difficult to make a choice.
9. Not over all "and" you have to put points.
10. I do not know the couple itself, I'm behind white or red.

Scorpio - my passions rarely come out, like a shark, which rarely floats to the surface!

1. Sorry, some kind of stool.
2. Each event is similar to the sofa: there must be hidden springs in it.
3. For a smile there should be a serious reason.
4. It is possible to free from everything, but not from your own passions.
5. I sing a love song on the battlefield.
6. Not everyone will endure my eyes.
7. My passions rarely go out, like a shark, which rarely floats to the surface.
8. The world disappears without knights.
9. Not turned on the land of the hotel!
10. I look like a cactus, my fabulous flower is revealed for chosen.

Sagittarius - it is impossible for me angry!

1. A good person should be a lot.
2. To whom I have to forgive everyone.
3. Best vacation, around the world journey.
4. The main thing in the problem is its scale.
5. My ideal is Ivan Tsaryivia.
6. It is impossible for me angry.
7. A remorse of conscience - what is it ???
8. Obligidity decorates only mediocre people.
9. Worried in advance stupid, let's deal with the situation.
10. Not a mandatory person, it is simply obliged to be mandatory.

Capricorn is a real Capricorn, like a cognac, is distinguished by exposure!

1. I am not a sprinter, and not even a styer. I am a marathonets.
2. And one in the warrior field.
3. Do not break the laws, it will come to another, and you will be caught.
4. For myself, I need very little. My property is just a mirror of my success.
5. Life is like a train that arrives at each station exactly on schedule.
6. Nice to argue about distant countries, sitting at home.
7. This Capricorn, like a brandy, is distinguished by exposure.
8. It is standing all my life to climb on the top, which would spike sprink down from there.
9. Only I am young over the years.
10. I don't eat food, but as I go - I will not go out.

Aquarius - how boring to be similar to others!

1. How boring to be similar to others.
2. If I came up with you, become like I want.
3. Prejudices of fools.
4. The future is simply obliged to be beautiful.
5. It is difficult to be an angel, but it is necessary.
6. Good intention is more important than good deeds.
7. To become an innovator, you must first forget about the traditions.
8. Sex? In life there are works and more cooking.
9. First, friends, and then a family, if of course there will be time.
10. There is no kind of good, there is no cheer

Fish - Associate more important than help!

1. Summary more important than help.
2. I can not refuse to alcohol like fish from water.
3. The order came up with boring people.
4. Do not postpone tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
5. You never know what I can promise.
6. Work in a hurry - the same thing to swallow is not burning.
7. Ready to understand everyone, not only.
8. Iva in the storm is negle, and the oak falls.
9. Everyone knows that I am eternally busy, but few knows what exactly.
10. Do not give me on me, and then east as a fish out of hand.

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of each sign of the zodiac!

Not a gift they say if you want to know a person, you should see him drunk. After all, it is then, often, a person shows himself as he really is. But there is a certain pattern of behavior of all the signs of the zodiac after drinking alcohol.

Alcohol acts on people in different ways: someone becomes overly active, others on the contrary, face and begin to cry, someone pulls on the move, someone wants to sleep. Here, how do representatives of the signs of the zodiac behave when they drink.

Drunk zodiac signs

Aries
There is nothing unstable than drunk Aries. When he is in a raised mood, he will not give off to anyone. Drunk Aries will move from one guest to another, check, whether everyone poured to make sure everyone is just as good as him.

If you have not yet gained your portion of alcoholic joy on this evening, you can be calm, Aries if you need to run back in one more bottle, to bring you to the desired state.

If intoxication sees sadness on you, look for a Aries, which will cure you.

calf
Taurus is a rock that you can lean in any condition. If you need a comanter who will be near, when you already barely keep on your feet - Taurus will always substitute her even if the shaky shoulder.

However, be careful! If the calf breaded superfluous, it becomes the stubborn of the stubborn donkey.

Never join the conflict with the Taurus, because he is a bull, and the bull, when his eyes had already grown out, it's not so easy to calm down.

Twins
Twins are not a single drink, but immediately a small company. His behavior may change for a moment and you will not have time to figure out what it will be the same. Therefore, going to drink with twins, all the details will put up in advance: what, where, with whom you will celebrate. Note that it is twins that rarely stop walking in one place. Only you will fix it in one corner, as in a minute it is already a trail.

Cancer
Cancer - under the action of alcohol, this is a difficult case. He easily falls into the despondency, can cry and infinitely complain about fate.

Cancer for itself is an emotional creature, and if it goes away, then it loses the last remnants of composure. He can have fun before falling, and after a while it will begin shouting on the bartender.

a lion
Everyone knows that after a few glasses, people are unleashed. And the lions this also applies.

While alcohol will be on the table, the lion will not silent. You do not make him keep your opinion with yourself, no matter how appropriate it is.

And do not think to put a lion into place, since His Majesty does not tolerate the hit on his personality and will behave like a furious beast.

Virgo
Virgin love peace and imparting wine from the glass or even beer after a hard working day. Their tendency to aristocratic life is manifested in the jetty state.

You should not wait for fun from them, they always remain on their wave and everything that happens next to them is little interest.

I invite you a little drink, forget about cheap eaters, because the virgin is clean to the brain of bones. If you need a "first-class" boring rude, contact the Virgin.

Libra
Scales - masters tissue. This is a carefree guys who just want to be all good. But first of all - they themselves. Scales know how to keep balance, and this is important when you fall face in a salad. If a fight rinsed somewhere, call weights to destroy the situation. If your company started to disperse, and you still want to sit, do not worry - the scales will not leave you alone, they are big lovers "taste" until the morning. Let even with his stayed eyes and flickering face - not trouble, they still feel irresistible and they will be able to convince you.

Scorpio
Pour Scorpio Sake and get ready to listen. Having reached, scorpion becomes incredibly witty and sarcastic.

Scorpions with drunken either leave before everyone either will drink with you to the end and stand up as the last samurai. But, do not hope that the scorpion quickening into the board will open your secrets to you - hidden by nature, he will be faithful to himself even in full detachment.

Sagittarius
Be careful when having fun with a shooter. The acuity of the language of this sign in a drunken state does not have borders. Sagittarius can hurt you so that after drinking with other signs you until the end of the life with tears in our eyes will remember his subnits, even if you are not a tearful cancer.

Not conflicting in a sober state, who drove the Sagittarius is surprisingly a blow. What does not think with whom it enters the conflict. Let it even the boss who the next day the Sagittarius can not look into the eyes. If, remember, of course, yesterday.

Capricorn
Capricorns are drinking chameleons that can be adapted in any situation in which they will be.

They just want to relax, no matter with whom, where and when. Everything that worries them is how they could turn so. Do not be surprised if the next day he is looking for himself in social resources in the photos of friends or ask you to show the photo report about yesterday. Capricorn Horoscope advises to get drunk with the Aquarius and now you will understand why.

Aquarius
Aquarius love to fool when they drink.

Since Aquarius is known for its originality, drinking with him - it's like going to a performance. They love to tell stories and exaggerate the details, although everyone is listening to them.

Aquarius will walk with the camera and shoot a drink on the video, collecting compromising on the rest.

Fish
If you suddenly wanted to drink with friends, fish will be the first in the list, as they are inclined to sail downstream and do not resist.

Bubbling extra, fish is experiencing the entire range of emotions, so drinking with them is very entertaining experience.

But be careful with their mood swings, because one extra glass, and simply takes them.

Alcohol is the worst enemy of all mankind, but when the working week comes to an end and is nearing Friday, it is increasingly rooted by confidence that all these are bikes and myths, and actually alcohol our friend who will help forget all work time And give us long minutes of joy and relaxation in the company of friends. But before you arrange a break, we advise you to know, under what zodiac sign your potential drinking device was born, and then never ...

Capricorn

Consciousness of drunk Capricorn is calculated by a simple formula: the nature is in the tenth degree plus the root of common sense to multiply by minus one. The state occurs after the third glass and it does not change, regardless of the amount of drunk. A closed and cautious Capricorn in a drunken form turns into a soul of a company that generously harvested compliments to others and good-natured reacts to the subnishes. Do not be fooled! The catch lies in the fact that this bastard remembers everything.

Aquarius

Drunk Aquarius is able to turn the world, without expanding on such trifles as the point of support. He grabs a sheet of paper and gives birth to divine lines, rushes to the canvas and three strokes in the history of world painting, composes revolutionary economic models or creates a new religion. Only here, unfortunately, no one ever seen this. Like, in fact, drunken aquarius. Because it is usually a slightly caught Aquarius says: "You are here it, and I went to sleep." And goes to sleep.

Fish

If the fish - drank, hold the distance. If the fish drank a lot - run. Drunk fish is experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions in four minutes, after which it repeats this cycle, as long as he is able to move the gills. Just she sobbed in the corner, because no one loves her, and in thirty seconds he was already happily jumping around his chairs, waving shorts over her head and mosquitors to the drinking companions Ikra. And at the same time he just retells the first person's anecdote as a story that happened to her just yesterday.

Aries

The first rule of drinking with Aries: Never drink with Aries. If you are already drinking with Aries, try to put sober aquarius next to you so that he helped you in time. Otherwise, you risk waking up in some Leningrad (where it would be nor), after which it turns out that yesterday you married an elderly teacher of the Russian language and offended a good man in a black hat from artificial fur. At the same time, Aries will sympathize with absolutely sober eyes on you and swing head: "What are you so, we are a little bit." Well, if you are Aries, it should be borne in mind that other characters have very strange physiology - they are drunk from alcoholic beverages.

calf

Drunk Taurus always pretends that he sober. Even if the Taurus crawls on the floor, as a snail, leaving behind a wet trail, then still sure that the evening only began. The Tales have an unshakable rule: to take everything from life. All money, all sex and the house is a complete bowl. It applies equally to alcohol. Having been going to drink with the Taurus, do not save, otherwise you risk you hear something like: "I went to the fool behind Vodka - he will bring one." However, two vodka will not save you too: after them, the Taurus appears to the world of the brush to the Beharcher and doubt everything, to what will be able to use: a coffee service, geranium, and your good relationship.

Twins

The notorious duality of the twins at the stage of alcoholic intoxication retreats, bringing one of the hypostasis to the fore. And here - how lucky. On-the mountain can get out a cheerful kitty with a microphone and a summary "You will sing out!" Or a gloomy outcading of hell, which does not just hate everyone around, but also in every way to destroy them. In the second case, Vizati twin risks learn a lot about his appearance, about his abilities and about their life decisions. And the next morning the twin smells with hand - they say, are you crazy, offended? Well I was drunk.

Cancer

To drink cancer is the only way to recognize it in real. A semi-legged master of disguise in a drunken form is open to the world and, finally, ceases to be shy. If you get to spontaneous sex sober cancer - the task with an asterisk, then drunk cancer is almost in alone stockings and all burns. Of course, the next morning Cancer will climb into his chitin and will be silent there, tiping his teeth, suffer.

a lion

Drunk lion is no different lion from sober. Is that the amount of decibel increases directly proportional to the amount of drunk. Sober lion, telling about his valor, adventures and victories, still sometimes pauses to breathe a little air. But a drunken lion air is completely nothing. Drunk Lero need to tell the hundredth time from the series "What I am cool, Lord", because in the company of twenty people, one unfortunate, who did not hear this story for some reason.

Virgo

Why drink Virgin - completely incomprehensible. Perhaps the soul of a drunk virgin is temporarily coming out of the body, in order to wander through green fields with violets and grazing unicorn. In our sinful world, there are three mandatory stages: "I am so drunk" (after the first gland of the cocktail), "I love you so much" (middle of the night) and "Where is aspirin?" (In the morning). Young hanglighted maid can in the morning find out that she is no longer maiden, but never remember details. Very convenient, by the way.

Libra

Scales are afraid of drinking, but very love. Because only in a drunken state, they cease, finally weigh all around and come to harmony with the outside world. Eternal search for a light ideal temporarily stopped, because it is the very situation when there are no ugly women. Stupid men, by the way, too. All such muscles, bunnies and seals, which is completely incomprehensible, as it was possible to smear the nose in aesthetic rejection of the universe. True, the next weight of the weights remembering how they managed to reside to BruderShaft with a man from a threshing-crushing technical school becomes unbearable. But so then in the morning.

Scorpio

Scorpio dries smoothly to the condition of the courage, and then slows down sharply, continuing to pour others, at the same time Jesuit pushing "I have a light hand." He is lying! The scorpions are very, very heavy hand, and they extremely love to look at how their sacrifices are trying to stand up on their feet. If you plan to supply Scorpion specifically to, for example, to drain it into bed or to detect some information, it is better to shoot yourself at once. Because he will say: "Yes, of course, but let's first one, I'm Nalu, I have an easy hand." And then - yes - Leningrad, an elderly teacher and a kind man in a black hat. You can drink with scorpions exclusively to those who dream of becoming a Star of the U-Tuba.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius alcoholic. Or sober. Because Sagittarius has failed. Or managed. It is not clear how to drink with a shooter. In the first case, there is not enough health. In the second case, you will die from boredom about half a lecture on the dangers of alcohol consumption. But whatever it was, hitting at the table with Square, do everything as he says. It is harmful to argue with him - he will shoot you, either offended, and the last one is incomparably worse.

It's no secret to anyone, how many different zodiac signs can behave in the same situations. How do you drink aquarity, Sagittarius, Virgo and representatives of other constellations, what is their behavior of alcohol intoxication? This information is useful to anyone who is going to spend the evening at a unconscious company. Of course, if you manage to find out the date of birth of future drinking companions.

How to drink different signs of the zodiac: Aries

Once in one company with representatives of this better not to drink with them. The fact is that they are not able to stop until the moment people around them will not be drunk. Aries not only adore to discourage others, remaining almost sober. They also love the adventure much stronger than other signs of the zodiac. As Aries drink - a question, the answer to which is better not to know those who do not want to wake up in another city as the next morning in someone else's clothes. What drinks give preference to people born under the auspices of this constellation? The most attractive for them are liqueurs, gin, a cocktail "Blood Mary".

Teltsy

Tales use alcohol as often as other signs of the zodiac. How do people drink this zodiac constellation? So that others do not doubt that they remain sober. More precisely, it is this way that it seems to the shoulders, even if they are already capable of moving only on all fours.

With these people, it is strictly not necessary to drink those who plan to save on alcoholic beverages or limit the low dose. Representatives of this sign prefer to take everything from life, concerns it and alcohol. If the alcohol finishes outwardly, they are able to arrange a scandal with the crash of the furniture. Therefore, stocks should be worried in advance. Speaking of preferences, it is worth noting that the Tales are favorably belong to brandy, absinthe, dessert wines. Attracts them and vodka.

Twins

Twins are people who are inferior in unpredictable all other signs of the zodiac. How do representatives of this constellations drink? Alcohol with equal success can turn the twin and into the gloomy creation that hates the whole world, and in a good-natured fun, selflessly sinking songs. To predict what will be the mood of people born under this constellation, after several decisions taken, is not possible.

Bad if the twin falls into the state of gloominess. In this case, his interlocutors will accurately recognize what their shortcomings they have. All will be listed all ever printed offenses, imaginary and real. Przrevvev, a representative of this sign sincerely surprised if someone would like to reproach him. Favorite twins drinks - Sambuk, white wine and beer. However, they easily go to experiments.

Raki.

Arguing about how they drink different signs of the zodiac, it is impossible to leave without attention and representatives of this constellation. There is an opinion that only drunk cancer opens its true face to others, which successfully hides in a sober state. This is largely due to the shyness, which is peculiar to people born in the middle of the summer. Being drunk, cancer is ready for everything. Przresvev, he will regret it not one day. Representatives of this sign prefer Rum, Vermouth and Bourbon, do not refuse from a chocolate liqueur.

Lions

Talking about how to drink with the signs of the zodiac, you can not forget about the lions. Amazing, but they behave absolutely the same, being drunk and sober. The fact that the lion was drunk, the surrounding will report except his voice that will become even loud. This is due to the fact that people managed by this constellation have no idea of \u200b\u200bshyness.

Of course, representatives of this sign will tell the surrounding stories about their exploits, real and fictional. However, such stories, friends and acquaintances regularly hear from sober lions. What drinks can you seduce them? The kings of animals love cocktails with intricate names, as well as cherry liqueurs. Cheap alcohol is a choice that will insult them.

Virgin

Virgo is another sign that cannot be accessed by talking about how the signs of the zodiac are drinking. The comic horoscope refutes the myth that these people do not drink in principle. Rather, they do it carefully, continuing to seem absolutely sober. The skills of "search activities" remain with them, so care must be taken by those who wish to keep their secrets with themselves.

People who need help while bringing a house in order after a fun party, can refer to the devies. As for the preferences of the representatives of this sign, their heart belongs to lyckers and wines. It is worth considering that among them there are really many trident, fundamentally refusing any alcohol.

Libra

Interesting the answer to the question of how drinking scales. Representatives of this sign for the most part are inborn aesthetes. They gladly taste all new. People born under this constellation are simultaneously alcohol, and they are afraid of him, since in a state of intoxication is often involved in trouble. Sloverev, scales categorically prohibit others to remind them about their adventures. What drinks can be safely offered to these people? As a rule, they like and wine, positively representatives of the sign belong to the Pink Brandy.

Scorpions

What does it talk about people born under the auspices of this constellation, horoscope? How do you drink the signs of the zodiac listed above, it is already known, but what can I say about scorpions? Those who managed to drink with such people, in no case should stop them. Scorpions do not like when they indicate. But in most cases, they use only the number of alcohol, which they need for courage, as they prefer to laugh at drunken friends, remaining relatively sober. Those who plan to specifically drink scorpions should immediately leave this idea - nothing will come. But in people who drink with representatives of this sign, there are every chance of becoming the "YouTube" stars. Scorpions prefer red wine, Beylis and Sake.

Sagittsev

Drunk Sagittarius often seem surrounding tactless. However, all their words go from a pure heart. Among them are extremely few sober. But if it was lucky to meet this, it is better not to try to convince him. In drunk, the Sagittarius remains a soul of the company, there is little different from sober. They often choose Martini from drinks. Like them and Long Island cocktail.

Capricorn

What can be said about Capricorn, telling about how the signs of the zodiac are drunk? The comic horoscope claims that these people in alcohol are looking for either oblivion, or inspiration. Drunk Capricorn is able to transform, turning into a charming rock star. However, you should not forget that the representatives of this sign do not forget anything like a lot of alcohol they would neither have used the day before. Capricorns prefer red wine. Also, the soul of Martini and Jin-tonic.

Aquarius

He who saw drunk aquarius can assume that he was lucky. As a rule, representatives of this sign are the first to leave cheerful companies to go to bed. Nevertheless, it is believed that drunk Aquarius is able to turn over the world: write a brilliant poem, make an incredible discovery and so on. Most of all these people love that they never tried, because of their curiosity, therefore, they are useless about their preferences in drinks.

Fish

Drinking fish mood can change every five minutes. They are able to cry, tell the jokes, admitted to love others, perform exotic dances and redden again. Seeing them drunk, you can either run away, or capture the camcorder and take off the best movie in your life. From drinks The signs of the sign prefer dry white wines, mulled wine and mojito.