If you are imperfect, others will like you more. The psychological Pratfell Effect proves this paradox. When we want to impress someone, we inevitably push out the best aspects of our personality.

It turns out, completely in vain: research shows that demonstrating your vulnerability and weakness, on the contrary, increases the level of empathy towards us from other people. The more non-critical flaws you have, the better people will treat you.

How to influence people? The illusion of choice

If you want the person to do something, give them the wrong choice. The trick is this: just give the person two options to choose from. For example, if you need to go shopping or clean a room, simply ask, "Do you want to vacuum or go to the store?" In this case, the person feels as if he is in some degree in control of the situation, and is more likely to agree to your proposal.

How to influence people? Ask for more

In theory, if you ask for a small favor, people are more likely to agree to a larger request. In other words, ask for something big before asking for what you need. For example, you want a bike, then use this psychological trick and ask for a car.

Pauses in conversation help influence people

If you need more information from someone, meaningful pauses can help you. This psychological trick is often used by journalists in their interviews. They know from the psychology of influence that silence in conversation can be awkward, and people often try to fill it.

Psychological tricks to influence people

Don't argue about the main issue

When you are trying to negotiate something and influence a decision, argue over a secondary issue. For example, if you need to make repairs, do not argue about whether the repair will be done or not, when it will be done, etc.

Go to the secondary questions: which tiles to buy or where to choose a wallpaper. In this case, the beginning of the repair will be taken for granted.

Use the passive voice in communication.

Such a psychological trick will help you if you do not want to argue and conflict, but want to convey your thoughts to another and influence him. Instead of saying, "You did not submit a report to me," try saying "The report was not sent."

How to influence people? Call the person by name more often.

In the course of a conversation, often calling a person by name, you automatically arouse the sympathy of the interlocutor. However, you should not abuse this psychological trick, as the excessive use of the name can cause suspicion and doubt about your sincerity.

Let others talk

Even if you are more savvy on a particular issue, let others teach you. Thanks to such a psychological trick, it will not be difficult for you to influence a person in order to convince him of something, because they already trust you.

Paraphrasing helps to influence a person

When communicating with him, paraphrase what your interlocutor said, and repeat it. The interlocutor will understand that they are really listening to him, and most importantly, they understand.

And here's another psychological trick: if you want the other person to agree with you, do not forget to nod when asking the question. The nod is taken as a sign that everything you say is true. In addition, following the laws of social behavior, people tend to nod in response.

Finally, make sure your hands are warm before shaking hands. People associate warm hands with friendliness and affability, while touching a cold hand can cause rejection and dislike. Here is such an interesting psychological trick.

It is unlikely that someone wants to do things and make decisions, obeying the influence of other people. The loss of independence and independence is frightening and seems unacceptable to us. And we defend our freedom with all our might, building barriers around ourselves, doing things contrary to outside influence, and sometimes common sense. But at the same time, we are not at all averse to learning effective methods with which you can influence other people.

In psychology, influence is understood as the impact on the human psyche in order to change his beliefs, attitudes, mood and behavior. When it comes to the psychology of influence, many present some kind of secret knowledge and techniques that allow you to control another person without his consent and knowledge.

But this is just one of the many myths that ordinary people spread about psychology. There is no secret knowledge and forbidden techniques. All mechanisms of psychological influence are familiar to every person from childhood, and each of us is both an object and a subject of influence. We live in a society and are connected by hundreds of threads with other members. Lenin was right when he paraphrased Karl Marx's statement: "You cannot live in society and be free from society."

Influence as a socio-psychological necessity

The mutual influence of people on each other is an integral part of social life, that complex system of interactions and interdependencies that we call society. For example, all parents would like their children to grow up to be worthy people, at least as they themselves understand it. Therefore, in the process, they influence children using a variety of ways and methods:

• persuasion and coercion;
• encouragement and punishment;
• personal examples and outright pressure.

Do children not influence their parents in any way? They do, of course. Even very small crumbs sometimes show real talent. Simple: “Mommy, you are my best. I love you so much, ”- will make any mother's heart melt. But children say this completely sincerely, and parents, influencing their children, sincerely wish them well.

We influence our friends, sometimes quite drastically changing them, on our subordinates and bosses, and just on casual acquaintances with whom we had a chance to talk. It is not for nothing that there is such a saying: “With whom you will lead - from that you will gain”.

A person is a part of society and is always influenced by it. Even finding himself on a desert island or hiding in a deep taiga, he will not get rid of this influence. Because he will continue to live and perceive the world around him, guided by the attitudes and beliefs formed under the influence of other people.

Moreover, being by the will of evil fate outside of human influence, the child will never grow up to be a full-fledged person. This is proved by the examples of the so-called Mowgli children raised in animal communities. Even an adult, social environment, gradually loses its human appearance.

Spheres of influence

Influence affects three areas of the human psyche:

• installation,
• cognition,
• behavior.

Installation is the perspective of perception of an event, phenomenon, or person. As a rule, the attitude includes emotional and evaluative parts. So, talking about how interesting it is to study at school, parents form in the future first grader an attitude towards a positive attitude towards school life. Or, for example, while watching a movie, we may form an attitude that the actor playing the villain is a bad person.

Cognitions - knowledge, beliefs, ideas about the world and yourself. They are also largely the result of the psychological influence of other people, more precisely, of the information they transmit. If we respect the source of information (a person, the media, a social institution) and trust him, then the knowledge he spreads becomes part of our ideas about the world around us, and we will not even be critical of them, taking them on faith.

It is more difficult to change human behavior, since the influence affects mental processes, and not directly. But you can shape this change, create a system of incentives that induce a person to take certain actions. In any case, it is the "tuning" of behavior that is the main goal of influence.

Why are we so afraid of being influenced

If mutual influence is a natural part of human relationships, then why are we so afraid of becoming an object of influence?

The reason lies in the peculiarities of self-identification, that is, as a separate and independent subject from other people. Awareness of one's own "I", the isolation of oneself from society occurs in a child at the age of 3 years and is one of the main reasons. It manifests itself in demonstrative independence and disobedience to adults. So, a three-year-old baby, having heard from his mother the prohibition to walk in puddles, may deliberately start spanking on them, or even sit down in the mud. The child deliberately resists influence, trying to prove his independence.

The crisis has been successfully overcome for 3 years, but losing the feeling of one's own “I”, dissolving in a faceless mass, remains for life. Therefore, we react so negatively to attempts to impose someone else's opinion on us, to influence our decisions and actions. And by the way, for the same reason we do not notice our own influence on other people. After all, here nothing threatens our self-identity, rather, on the contrary, we assert our own independence, influencing those around us.

Types of influence. Influence and manipulation

A person is constantly in a single field of social interaction, where he acts both as an object and as a subject of influence. We are influenced not only by individuals, social groups and public opinion, but also by natural phenomena, things, events that happen to us and to other people. The rain that started before the walk can ruin our mood and force us to change plans, and an armed one that happened hundreds of kilometers away from us can change our worldview.

But here we are looking at influences in the sphere of interpersonal relations. In social psychology, there are several types of them.

Conscious and unconscious influence

Conscious and purposeful influence is said to be when the subject of influence knows exactly what he wants to achieve and how he intends to change the behavior of the object. A conscious influence can be directed both on a person's views and on his emotional sphere, but the ultimate goal is still certain actions and actions.

The reasons why one person consciously affects another can be different. If the main one is personal gain, then this influence is called manipulation. But influence can serve other purposes as well. For example, pedagogical influence is aimed at the formation of the child. In fact, it does not always benefit the object of influence, but this is precisely what is seen as the main task of education.

In the social environment, in the process of interaction between people, many acts of unconscious influence constantly occur. A person not only infects other people with his behavior, but he himself, not understanding this, adopts their habits, manners, beliefs. First of all, we unconsciously imitate those whom we sympathize with and whom we respect: our friends, parents, teachers, colleagues, movie heroes. The more interesting a person is, the more people around him fall under his influence, whether he wants it or not.

Overt and hidden influence

Open influence is a type of influence when an object, or as it is also called, the addressee, understands that it is being influenced, prompting, pushing or forcing to some action. This is an unpleasant sensation, but in this case a person has a choice - to submit to the influence or to evade it, to resist. Dodging can be tricky when influenced by people in power. But nevertheless, the addressee can at least try to defend his independence and the right to an independent decision.

But latent influence is, on the one hand, a less ethical type of influence, and on the other, the most effective one. Not knowing that he is being influenced, the object does not even resist and cannot oppose anything to the subject. Conscious, purposeful and hidden influence is manipulation, the most dangerous type of influence.

Destructive and constructive influence

We are used to thinking that any influence is always bad, as it involves pressure on the individual. Therefore, realizing the impact on us, we begin to actively resist, often doing "by contradiction", out of spite, committing rash acts, mistakes, and often outright stupidity.

But not every influence is destructive, not every one leads to infringement of the rights and freedoms of the individual. Often, the influencing person is interested precisely in preserving the personality of his addressee, preventing mistakes that he can make, helping him choose the right path. Parents raising a child, teachers who form the student's correct picture of the world, relatives and friends who want to save a loved one from - all these are examples of creative influence.

Psychological influence techniques

Various strategies for influencing people are a product of the long-term development of society. Most of them were not purposefully developed as manipulative tools, and people also often use them intuitively.

• Mental infection is the oldest method of influence, based largely on reflex reactions. This impact is not recognized by either the subject or the object of influence. Mental infection occurs on an emotional level. The most striking example is panic, which engulfs people like a forest fire.
• Coercion is a type of influence in which an explicit or latent threat is used. The threat is not necessarily related to physical violence, it may relate to material well-being, restriction of freedom, deprivation of the opportunity to do what you love, etc.
• Request. Unlike coercion, there is no threat in this technique. The instrument of influence here is a call to a certain action, which is desirable for the subject of influence. Flattery, persuasion, fawning, etc. can be used as additional leverage.
• Persuasion is a conscious and purposeful influence, the main tool of which is rational arguments.
• Suggestion differs from persuasion in the absence of arguments and appeal to reason. Suggestion is based on irrational, uncritical perception of information that comes from an authoritative source. Faith factor plays an important role in suggestion.
• Awakening the need to imitate. The very imitation of someone is often unconscious, but the subject of influence, for example, a teacher or a parent, can purposefully create in children and students an attractive image that one wants to imitate.
• Destructive criticism. This method is aimed at causing the object to feel dissatisfied with himself and to force the person to change his behavior.

These are the main methods of influence that are most often used in interpersonal relationships. Often they are used in combination, supported by the authority of the subject of influence, links to other even more authoritative sources, for example, the media, books, the Internet, etc.

What determines the success of the influence

If influence is such a widespread process, then why do some people manage to influence others, while others are not able to? The fact is that everyone has the ability to influence other members of society, but the degree of its expression is different. There are several categories of people whose influence is especially powerful:

• Those who have the makings of a leader and have the gift of persuasion and suggestion.
• Strong personalities with a pronounced charisma, that is, exceptional in terms of and, which is complemented by personal charm.
• Good psychologists, and not necessarily professional. There are people who are very sensitive to all the nuances of the mood and mental state of their partners. They know what strings can be pulled and, if desired, can find the most effective channels of influence on a person.
• Those who own information that is important to people or who know how to present themselves as such informed individuals.

The effectiveness of influence depends not only on the subject, but also on the object of influence. The less self-confident a person is, the lower his self-esteem, the easier he can become dependent on a manipulator. Therefore, in order to learn how to resist the influence of others, you need to start with self-development.

Knowledge of human psychology and the basics of how to manage people is necessary not only for a leader or a businessman. Such knowledge will be useful to any person for building a career, creating successful personal relationships, mutually beneficial interaction with people around them. They will come in handy in the family, when communicating with relatives, friends, neighbors.

Some particularly capable individuals naturally possess management skills. They intuitively feel how to psychologically influence other people, earn their authority, persuade them to their opinion, push them to certain actions and deeds.

Even in the children's sandbox, there is always a leader.

But even if by nature you are not a skilled person to manage everyone in the yard and are not the most influential guy in the village, the ability to influence other people can still be developed by studying and applying numerous techniques and methods of influencing others.

Human psychology: how to manage people

When you want to expand the boundaries of your capabilities, achieve a certain material level and high authority in society, then you have no choice but to learn how to manage people. Your goal is to establish contact with others, earn trust, motivate you to perform certain actions that are beneficial to you, using the emotional and psychological component of the personality. How to psychologically influence people trying to achieve certain goals? The following proven methods of exposure will help.

Proven ways to influence other people

1. Use arguments.

   An important step towards knowing how to manage people is choosing the right reasoning. Always support all requests, assignments and wishes with convincing arguments. Your requirements must be impeccable in terms of necessity and expediency. Even the most unusual and difficult tasks will be solved with great enthusiasm if they have a logically stated background.

2. Dose important information.

   If you are a carrier of information that has a certain value for any circle of people, then learn how to present it correctly. It should be convincing, confident, but very fast and in small quantities. Leave intrigue, innuendo, make others think, worry, feel responsible. Influencing other people with information is easy - provide it in small chunks. Over time, all your words will gain significance and will be perceived as something beyond doubt.

3. Potential hazard.

   Don't know how to influence people's behavior, then use them. And not necessarily real. Such a danger can be subtly instilled and developed, based on even insignificant facts provided by themselves. To win the trust of a person, win over to your side, bind to yourself, you yourself and offer him support and help in a difficult situation. By participating in problem solving, you form a strong addiction. The person will feel grateful, will consider themselves to be due to you. Of course, after that he will not refuse your request and will help with all his might.

4. Right choice.

   How to influence people's behavior so that they do what you need, without visible coercion. Let them choose from several possible solutions. Freedom of choice is a good incentive for a person to be active and productive. You will achieve your goal if others believe that they are choosing on their own, although in reality only one result is possible in a situation - the one you need.

5. Cohesion.

   Get close to the people you want to control. Unite and unite a team or family with a common idea. Use the image of an enemy that threatens wealth, health, safety, or market position. Fear of a common threat brings people closer together, strengthens team relationships and forms strong mutual dependence. It makes you mobilize, act more efficiently and more productively to achieve the designated common goal and is one of the most effective ways to psychologically influence people. Your task in such a situation is only to competently direct people.

How to learn to manage people? Strive for mutual benefit!

In the field of human psychology, the question of how to manage people is one of the most popular. It is important here to observe the measure, not slipping to obvious ones. If you use others solely to achieve your goals, then this tactic will ultimately fail. Most people will sooner or later expose your true motivation, and the reaction to it will be resentment, dislike, anger, disgust, and even revenge.

Before looking for effective ways to influence other people, consider whether they lead to mutually beneficial interactions. In pursuit of your interests, do not forget that the other party must also receive something useful and valuable in return. Only mutually beneficial cooperation between people can be the basis for gaining benefits. And only in this case, the actions will be productive and will allow you to achieve regular, not one-time results. Use the ability to influence people intelligently, without creating a halo around you of a manipulator playing with only one goal.

Dr. Imants Baruš explores concepts that are intangible or often referred to as spiritual phenomena, such as the energy field of people and the ability of one person's field to influence another.

Barush is a professor of psychology at the University of Western Ontario, Canada. His most recent talk is “Changing Consciousness in a Self-Development Workshop: A Study of the Matrix Energetics Workshop”. He was published in the Journal of Consciousness Research in November 2014. In this talk, he described several of his own experiments with the power of consciousness.

Impact at a distance

In two experiments, Barush directed his thoughts to people from far away to see if they would feel something. These experiences were outlined in the third chapter of his book The Impossible Happens and a new talk. His thoughts were focused on raising the vitality of the participants to see if they would feel more alert or more tired than usual.

The experiment involved 37 people, with whom he agreed on the time of the experiment. The subjects were not required to be behind the wheel at the set time. They watched their feelings.

Baruchs also monitored his own level of concentration and "the depth of an altered state of consciousness." The experiment showed that the deeper he concentrated, the more tired the subjects felt. He found that thinking at a distance did indeed have an effect on the participants. Its result was p< .05, это означает, что вероятность случайного изменения уровня бодрости у испытуемых меньше 5%. То есть свыше 95% участников действительно ощутили влияние его мыслей.

The results provide an interesting starting point for further experimentation, but Baruchs cautions that they could change significantly if more factors are taken into account.

Matrix Energetics

Matrix Energetics is a practice where one person mentally influences another. Baruchs cites some of its effects, described by fellow researcher Joe Marlowe of the Institute of Interpersonal Psychology: “Participants sometimes experience some somatic sensation, such as fainting or feeling unnatural around things. In some cases, there is a spontaneous cure for diseases. "

“Such phenomena should be carefully studied. Research is the first step towards that, ”he writes. He conducted an experiment during the Matrix Energetics conference in Philadelphia in 2012. This was the main topic of his talk. A wide variety of people took part in the experiment, from doctors and engineers to gas station workers. For most of them, this was their first experience with Matrix Energetics.

Baruchs and his co-workers allowed participants to fill out a questionnaire before the workshop, immediately after the experience, and two months after the experience, in order to see the short-term and long-term changes in their physical and psychological condition. Standard psychology tests were used to determine their emotional and mental state.

The results of the study showed that overall health status improved in the long term. But Barush believes that the results obtained should be interpreted with great care. He says that people whose health has not improved may be among those who did not participate in the survey two months later, because not all people completed this survey.

It is also possible that the positive changes in those people whose health has improved are not related to the workshop. Within two months they could have taken some other measures to improve it.

“The change in consciousness during the Matrix Energetics workshop warrants further study,” he writes. "The experience did not take into account the accompanying factors, for example, social interaction with like-minded people, the influence of a charismatic speaker, etc. To understand these factors, a separate study is needed."

Hypnosis?

When one person has a similar effect on another, the question arises, what happens to the subconscious? Is it possible that this process is similar to hypnosis?

The behavior of people during the Matrix Energetics workshop is similar to hypnosis, says Barush. He believes that it is similar to the "healing movement" among the Pentecostals: "The mechanism of these phenomena is unknown."

The definition of hypnosis used by researchers is very broad. Baruchs explains: "Scientists disagree and cannot give a clear definition of what hypnosis is."

There are several categories of people who are especially susceptible to hypnosis: "people prone to fantasies, having a positive attitude towards such things, or suffering from memory impairments." In the case of participants in the Matrix Energetics seminar or Barush's experiments on exposure at a distance, a person could actively seek to experience someone else's influence, in which case he belongs to the category of people with a positive attitude.

Barush explains these phenomena by saying that "hypnosis is not an explanation, but a label." Further research is needed to obtain an explanation. Before the study, scientists discussed this topic. They did not find evidence that hypnosis was used on the participants during this workshop, but the study was not intended to reveal this.

Baruchs says that what happens in Matrix Energetics workshops may be like hypnosis, but more detailed experiences are needed to pinpoint this.

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about what psychological methods of influencing people are. You will learn what methods can be used if you want to have an impact on another person. Find out how to behave when communicating with the interlocutor.

The basics

People who live together constantly have a certain influence on each other. In doing so, they pursue their own personal motives.

Psychological impact - mechanisms that can simulate the thinking of a person.

The impact has the main factors:

• character study;
• understanding how to respond to stress;
• behavioral features.

Sometimes an individual can feel how someone is exerting their influence on him. It can be advertisers, sales managers, authorities, politicians and even close people. The influence can be provided, both consciously, and occur at an unconscious level. The method of influence is based on the ability to program the psyche, turning off the mind, using certain approaches.

1. Psychological attack. The situation when the psyche is actively influenced, while various techniques are involved, which are quickly replaced. The swiftness of actions, which includes: changeable position of the body, speech becomes wordy, energetic gestures.
2. Programming. Aimed at one person, the unambiguousness of words is characteristic, the position is passive, immobility is characteristic. This method contributes to the formation of a specific sequence of emerging thoughts, the opinion becomes imposed, behavior is stereotyped for a specific situation.
3. Manipulation. The presence of ambiguous speech, well-thought-out body position is characteristic. A person has dual images that put him in a position of choice. They force him to change in favor of the manipulator. They are used by politicians and ideologists.
4. Psychological pressure. This is an impact of great intensity, based on a representative image. The speech becomes affirmative, objections are inadmissible, instructions are by the type of orders, the position of the body is stable, stable. This method contributes to the forced performance of certain actions, a person is belittled. It can be used by leaders, authorities, typical for the army.

I bring to your attention the methods that you can apply when communicating with other people, as well as understand that you are being manipulated.

1. Infection. A method based on the transfer of the emotional mood of one person to another. For example, the case when one irritated individual with a bad mood spoils him with his loved ones. Or in a situation where three people are riding in an elevator, which gets stuck, and only one begins to panic, followed by him and the rest begin to panic attacks. Do not think that you can only become infected with negative emotions. The same situation can be observed if, in the company of friends, when they are telling a funny story, one starts laughing, the others also pick up his laugh.
2. Suggestion. It is not the emotional level that is involved here. In the main role, authority, correctly chosen phrases, visual contact, special intonation of the voice. That is, a person, having his own goals, convinces another to act in the way that suits him. It is worth noting that actions will definitely fail if the manipulator has an uncertain voice. Such a technique can have a huge impact on children under 12 years of age, as well as on insecure individuals and those who are prone to neuroses.
3. Conviction. This method is based on logic, a person turns to the mind of another individual. It should be borne in mind that the reception will be a failure if communication is with an underdeveloped personality. You need to understand that it is stupid to prove something to someone if he is low-intellectual. When resorting to this technique, it is necessary to take into account the following features: there should be no falsehood in the speech, otherwise the trust will be lost; it is important that the statements fully correspond to the image of the speaker; conviction should be built according to the thesis plan, followed by an argument, followed by a proof.
4. Imitation. Most of all, it affects the child's psyche and influences the formation of personality. It is both a conscious and an unconscious desire to copy another person, his behavior, actions, appearance, way of thinking. The problem is that they don't always imitate good people. The object to be imitated must meet the ideals of the imitator in all situations, then his desire to be like will be constant.

Useful tricks

If you want to control the conversation, you need to pay attention to the following:

• as often as possible contact the person with whom the dialogue is being conducted, calling him by name;
• when meeting with an individual, show sincere joy so that every time he sees you he experiences positive emotions;
• evoke the disposition of your interlocutor by repeating his movements, facial expressions, gestures and even intonation, but you do not need to act too openly;
• already from the first meeting, it is necessary to pay attention to the eye color of the conversation partner; visual contact is of great importance;
• you can flatter, but it must be done with great care - the right compliment is attractive, but excessive use of flattery will lead to the opposite effect.

You can pay attention to how the interlocutor treats you using such techniques.

1. When an individual laughs, he always turns his gaze to a person who is attractive to him.
2. The fact that the individual with whom you communicate has a positive attitude towards you can be indicated by his shoes, socks looking at you. If they are directed in the other direction, then such an individual wants to end the conversation as soon as possible.
3. It is necessary to become a good listener to the statements and thoughts of the opponent, to allow the interlocutor to speak out. In the future, you will be able to use this information as you need.

If you want to influence the interlocutor, use the following techniques.

1. If there is an argument, there is no need to raise your voice. As soon as the opponent speaks out, he will feel devastated and guilty. You can take advantage of this moment and convince him that he was wrong.
2. If you know that you are communicating with a liar, then you can reveal his true intentions by using pauses in the conversation. Silence contributes to the fact that the individual who is hiding something will begin to insert his real thoughts into these pauses.
3. Never start a phrase with negation. Instead of saying "Would you like to go to the cinema?", You need to - "Let's go to the cinema!" When the first option is pronounced, the interlocutor is immediately programmed to refuse.
4. Avoid phrases that indicate self-doubt.
5. Don't apologize for no reason.
6. Do not start a conversation with words of doubt, for example, "I think ...".
7. If you want the interlocutor to give a positive answer, then you can resort to the "three yes" rule. When communicating, the dialogue partner needs to ask questions to which he cannot answer “no”. After three times in a row he will be forced to give an affirmative answer, he is asked the main question that interests the manipulator, and the interlocutor answers positively.
8. Strong arguments. A person who wants to convince someone of something must prepare in advance, select all possible arguments. First of all, the strongest of them are nominated, then the middle ones, after which the strong ones are added again. Weak and do not need to be applied at all.

Now you know what the psychological impact on a person can be. You know what methods, as well as techniques, are used in this case. Remember that every day a person can succumb to some kind of pressure, obey someone else's will. Be extremely careful, be able to recognize in time if someone is manipulating you.