Today we will talk about infidelity and, in particular, about the betrayal of a man to a woman.
The question is as follows: my husband cheated on me, what to do, how to behave in this situation, is it possible to forgive the betrayal, or if the husband changed everything, you need to throw him in the trash and find a new one, well, or just stay alone, what is the best way to act, communicate with this person or just delete him from life?

I will only speak my opinion, you do not have to agree with him, if you have your opinion please leave comments let's discuss together.

Let's see what cheating is, because different people have very different understandings of this moment.
In my opinion, betrayal is a betrayal, that is, it is a deception that includes a number of actions that hide the real state of affairs.

How to recognize a cheating husband

This question is the most frequent one I get - what should I do my husband cheating on me?
Sometimes it seems that all men are cheating on their wives, but this is not true, there is a very large group of men, I think the overwhelming majority of whom do not even think to cheat on their wives, who live with their family and do everything to make the family feel good. so that the wife is happy, the children are healthy and there are a lot of such men.

Unfortunately, few people talk about them because there is no reason. Not a single normal wife will write somewhere on a social network, but my husband does not cheat on me, for such women it is the norm that they are not cheated on, well, who will write, for example, I eat 3 times a day, it is normal that a person eats 3 times a day and lives happily with her husband, who never cheats on her and these men are not visible, so we women get stories from unfortunate deceived wives who, from their grief and disappointment, try to find support somewhere from their friends, so these stories are more in sight and hearing, and it seems that all men are such they are cheating on their wife. This is not true, not all.
When a woman asks what to do, my husband is cheating on me? I have an answer that is extremely unpopular, and I will answer it - do not do anything, because you have already done everything you can.
Firstly, you married such a person who could not stand the test of his family, they will immediately tell me well, I was young and stupid, I did not understand anything, my parents didn’t say anything to me and my friends didn’t say anything, in general I didn’t know how I was choose a husband.

Husbands do not start cheating since March 1 or April 1, suddenly at 8 in the morning he got up and began to cheat, that is, there were some calls.
There are always some calls, and men who will write comments will probably agree with me that a man does not start cheating on his wife all of a sudden, as if he was hit on the head, he woke up and went to cheat, it all starts long before the betrayal.

• relations don't work out
• no psychological comfort
• not that love

And a woman, as a sensitive creature, may well feel that here we live with my husband, but we seem to have no love, there is no joy, he does not pull him home, and he does not pull me home, somehow we are dull, sad, we are fighting.

That is, where quarrels begin, it is boring, there is no joy, there is no desire to be in place, this is all the first step on a long path, which ultimately leads to betrayal.
When the husband is already cheating, forgive the pun, the end of a long journey, there was some kind of long path and this is already the final station, if the husband began to cheat, doing something at that moment is already useless and there is no means to force the husband not to cheat, or so that he stopped loving his new mistress and returned to the family, as we like to say very much - to return to the family, to work, to children, we cannot control the feelings and life of another, we often cannot control even our own life and our feelings and your emotions.

What can be said here to the question - what to do when the husband is cheating? Well, as a rule, the question here is not about love already. but that we have a common apartment and common property. Small children. Here is another question: what to do with the property? this is for lawyers.
What to do with children? this is for child psychologists.
But what is a woman to do? you can visit a psychologist.

If the husband begins to cheat, this is not the end, he may come to his senses or try something else and understand that he is better at home, or he decides to go to that new lover and, as a rule, almost nothing depends on his wife.

Categories of male cheating

There are actually 4 categories of cheating on men.
1st category cheating is an accident, that is, at some corporation, or somewhere with his campaign at work, he accidentally drank, lost control, that something happened, in this case the chances that he will obey about his betrayal and come to his senses are great.

2nd category- it was an old, unhappy childhood love that stirred up, some kind of school story, met his old beloved, old feelings, nostalgia stirred up, if you wait out the wife has enough fortitude and patience, then as a rule, such betrayal of her husband ends in calming down, it was good, but that's all family is more expensive.

3rd category it is when a man is seduced by an experienced woman, he already becomes such a tasty prey, achieves career growth, becomes wealthy, and he is deliberately seduced by such an experienced predator, in order to take him out of the family out of mercenary motives.

4th type of cheating husband- this is a man a womanizer who always had mistresses both before marriage and during marriage and will always cheat on his wife, that is, this is not a case, nor any old love, cheating is his lifestyle and no matter what you do, no matter how he He did not love you, he will always look for adventure, in this case a woman should think very hard and not wait for the weather by the sea, not wait for her life to turn into hell because of her husband's betrayal and start making some decisions.

But in any case, the question * what should I do if my husband is cheating on me * is a serious question, and even if you look at all these 4 categories of husband's cheating. in fact, nothing can be done with it. here it is necessary to think about yourself. how to maintain your nervous system. how to maintain your health and I think that the best thing is to consult a psychologist and figure out what to do with her husband's infidelity.

Well, one more little piece of advice to women who have suspicions that their man is cheating - keep calm, although this is not easy, start taking some motherwort, so as not to aggravate the situation and do not make any scandals, it will definitely not help.

How to survive the betrayal of your husband?

“Honey, how do you feel about if I cheat on you, will you forgive me for cheating. I'm just asking this, don't think anything like that. " - My beloved once declared to me, as it were, by the way. I thought. But really. I'm not ideal. And around a bunch of young beautiful temptations in mini-skirts wandering around. After all, it is not a fact that my beloved-dear-tender-loving will not lead to all these delights. Of course, you need to trust, but it would be a hundred times stupid to exclude the possibility of treason.

Psychological scientists say that men are more prone to polygamy. Yes, and the people say, they say, the peasants are not averse to going left. For example, among the eastern peoples it is customary to have whole harems. Yes Yes. Namely, harems. It is a pity that neither the people nor psychologists can see the essence of their emergence. The fact is that there have always been many wars in the east. Yes, and now, too, is not enough. And corny men are not enough for everyone. So the survivors have to take care of the wives of their deceased brothers and friends.
But women are just as fond of "taking a walk" as men. But the idea that they are "women" is holding them back. Well, it was accepted that way for a long time. Once it was agreed that a woman should sit and wait for her man. And that's it. And there's nothing you can do about it. Mostly they sit and wait.

What is treason?

The Dictionary of Sexual Relations tells us that adultery is sexual intercourse between people who are married, with people from other married couples, or with single men and women. Married! That is, purely theoretically, if you love each other for 10 years, of which you have lived for 5 years, but at the same time are not officially registered as a family, and if your loved one (s) has sexual intercourse with someone else, then this is not treason? So what? In my opinion, somewhere there is a catch.
One of my acquaintances gave the definition of treason - this is when you do not remain faithful to your love. Moreover, even if mentally, not necessarily physically. And he added that, in essence, he changes 70-80 times a day.
In general, it doesn't matter what you mean by cheating, what matters is how to get through and how to deal with it. Many women and men go to different tricks, tricks, deeds and achievements in the holy work. Someone is trying to hold back with sex, someone with children, someone with intelligence and ingenuity, and someone with delicious borscht. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. Few people understand that if a person wants to change, he will do it. The question is how to take it forgive or not forgive.

Should you forgive your husband's betrayal?

In general, I'll tell you a secret, I am surprised by people who come to repent. Like, forgive me dear (dear), forgive me for your mercy. And in vain, after all. Because, often, even if he forgives betrayal, it’s not up to the end and how to survive it is also a question. And on occasion he will remember so that it will not seem a little. And I also "like" when the humiliated and insulted begin to take revenge. Roughly speaking, they defiantly go on spree. And away we go! What about the meaning? Isn't it better to just keep quiet? Or go to talk to a psychologist (to a professional psychologist, not your friends). Moreover, make sure that your beloved (beloved) would never know about it. It will be easier for everyone. And if your conscience tortured you - for confession ahead and with a song.
An acquaintance of mine was on a spree when his wife began a session at the institute. He justified this by the fact that she sits and teaches day and night, and he has zero attention. Do you see libido in him? He needs a woman. Although, judging by the rumors, he did not do it alone. As a result, the wife, having learned about the adventures and betrayal of her husband, began to walk in response (this is a living example of what I said above). And what is the result? Divorce, a child in an incomplete family, alimony and other joys of life.
Psychologists shrug their shoulders and talk about the standard of the situation.

Cheating husband after childbirth

An even more standard situation is a husband's infidelity after the birth of a child. Women after childbirth often become typical mothers. Of course, kinder is an important part of family life. But because of it, the relationship with the husband often suffers. And especially sexy. And this is literally a push in the back of your man. The impetus for treason.
We think that cheating on a husband is a personal grievance. And the understanding that someone is better, de facto. In general, I hasten to assure you that it is not necessary which is better. If you eat borscht for a long time, it will eventually get bored to death. I'm not making excuses for anyone, but fact is fact.
By the way. One notorious marquise at the French court very wisely slipped young maidservants to her hubby for entertainment. And at the same time, she knew that he loved her - adult, mature and experienced. And by the way, they lived happily ever after.
But we are not marquises. And not in France. And the fact of treason must somehow live. To forgive or not to forgive treason? That's the question!.
Yes, on the one hand it's nice to be a victim. Oh, he is a scoundrel! Oh, he's a scoundrel! He cheated on me! How could he! Etc.
Now let's sit down and think. Or maybe the reason for his betrayal is in you? Just think well! Honestly. Before herself first of all. Not? Then definitely a scoundrel. And why do you need it?

Cheating on a loved one

A betrayal of a loved one can turn the mind and inner world. Blow up reality in an instant and completely change the usual way of life. When you are completely surrendered to your soul mate and are piously sure of the opposite feeling and attitude, betrayal bursts into consciousness and does not find a place for itself there.

In a fit of indignation, anger and resentment, people sometimes commit acts that forever close the doors on their way back. And now you need to stop and calm down. Just calm down. And think. Very conditionally, treason can be divided into two options. Physical treason and psychological treason. In the first case, most often everything happens spontaneously, thoughtlessly and quickly. Celebrated a bachelor party with friends, went through, woke up next to another woman. He himself did not understand how it all happened and he cannot forgive himself.

The same example applies to girls. It's a shame, awful, but there is more good in him. Yes, and a lesson for life. From now on he will walk and control the situation as much as possible. You can probably forgive such a betrayal. The so-called psychological betrayal is when, deliberately, deliberately, coming up with pretexts, a beloved or beloved runs away to the side, perfectly understands what is happening, but still continues. Here it is for everyone to decide for themselves. But first of all, calm down. Think and understand why this is happening.

Who is to blame for the betrayal of a wife or husband?

In most of the betrayals, we ourselves are to blame, giving reasons for looking for alternatives. She is always unhappy with everything, and he has long forgotten that she is a woman and not a housekeeper. Talk to your loved one and only then draw conclusions. But the main thing here is to be extremely honest with yourself. The whole future life will depend on this.

Whatever one may say, there is only one real reason for betrayal: it, betrayal, occurs either where it "stood badly", or - which, alas, occurs much more often, where "it lay badly."

Here, it turns out, is where the dog is buried - betrayal always happens because of banal dissatisfaction. Either HE, instead of having sex, plays "shooters" at night, or SHE constantly mutters about her headache. Of course, there are cases when “I came, I saw, I won”, but the number of such sudden impulses is negligible against the background of betrayals “from everyday life”.

In a pair, one of the partners is always dissatisfied with something. And sometimes both. Most often, due to the fact that one not very beautiful day they wake up and ... stop trusting each other. As a result, two people who seem to love each other closed in on themselves, to the question "how are you?" dryly answer the rhetorical "normal", do not share either joys or experiences.

In a word, they just exist under one roof. And in their hearts everyone is afraid ... and dreams of the first step towards freedom. The paradox is that it is the one who estranged himself first, sincerely considers himself a victim - it is he who was deprived of attention / care / understanding.

As a result, betrayal becomes a cry for help: “Save me, I'm drowning! Nobody loves me! " It seems to the cheater that if someone else paid attention to him, then the beloved / beloved should also notice him. The logic is clear - “since I am interested in another Homo Sapiens, it means that there is no flaw in me. And my husband / wife doesn't see it, so they don't like it ... "Divorce and slippers by mail ...

Most often, the fair sex is outraged by the fact that their faithful, allegedly, "walk to the left." The spouse is constantly under suspicion - of course, "after all, it is HE who comes on Friday after seven o'clock and smells stupefying of cheap" RED MOSCOW "! And I am white and fluffy! "

The young lady did not even realize that her husband was delayed because of the old woman who was transferred across the road, and the aunt awarded the aroma, from whose bag the ill-fated bottle fell on the floor of the metro train, spraying half of the passengers with a jet.

As a result, the suffering wife puts on the crown of the great martyr, refuses her husband's intimacy, ignores and ... transfers her husband into the passionate embrace of her mistress.

And it also happens: a lady for some reason does not want to make love. Well, she doesn't like it ... She refuses a man, but is fully confident that he must endure if he loves. The husband suffers and ... goes to the side for understanding. But you could just talk, find out the problem and live calmly on in love and harmony.

Wives who have a lover are guided by the same reasons as husbands who regularly cheat on their other half.

One partner is in the mood for a conversation, and the other is not. As a result, a frequent situation arises in which one extremely aggressively insists on the conversation "let's talk", while the other casually refuses - "I have no time now, but you want a new scandal."

An elementary lack of attention, the inevitable cooling of relations, refusal to dialogue lead to the collapse of the family - quite recently, still happy and making plans for the future.

Try to understand each other - and everything will work out!

Cheating husband - a reason for divorce?

I am now collecting information before starting a divorce, but what interests me, I could not find.

The fact is that my American husband has posted his profile on all dating sites for the second time and has already found himself a girl from Russia with whom he is seriously in correspondence. I only have a temporary Green Card that I received last November. The immigration rules say that I can petition for a permanent GC if a marriage that started with good intentions broke up through no fault of my own. Will this kind of betrayal of his be considered sufficient grounds for divorce? I have not found anywhere that a husband's betrayal is also considered.
Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Natasha V

We asked a freelance employee Irina to comment on this letter:

Hello dear Natasha!
First, I would like to ask you to clarify how your relationship with your husband is developing in general. How does he behave towards you, besides the fact that he started looking for new acquaintances? Are there any signs of "abuse"? I would like to hear how you found out about the posting of his profile on dating sites? Did he inform you himself, or did you find out about it by chance? For example, opening his mailbox, and discovering his correspondence with another girl?
Does your husband know about your intention to divorce, that YOU are filing for divorce because of your husband's betrayal? Are you going to make material claims against him? Do you have children?
How does he himself motivate the search for another woman? Does he accuse you that the family is falling apart and he decided to cheat? Does he have confirmation that YOU are to blame for this? Or takes all the blame? I think your plan to get a permanent Civil Code presupposes the presence of a lawyer, since CHARGE of the husband "de facto", and in our understanding with you, may LEGAL not matter to the court. Correspondence may not be considered as a betrayal of your husband in a physical sense, especially if you both came to the conclusion that it was impossible to keep your marriage ... fell in love with another, "divorce (possibly) will result in the annulment of your legal stay in the US, since your temporary Civil Code will expire. Without studying the details of your family situation, it is very difficult to give unambiguous advice.
Based on the information you provided, I personally can advise the following:
It is necessary to convince the court that you do not want a divorce, love your husband, while he found another woman, and entered into a serious correspondence with her, which endangered your marriage, that is, your husband's betrayal.
If you were, filing for divorce would seem more convenient to you if it was from your husband's side, in which case you become the victim and your chances of getting permanent GC are increased.

Irina.

Divorce (divorce)

According to sociologists, 60% of men who initiated a divorce, when asked "For what reason, broke up?" answer "I fell out of love". Women in most cases answer the same question that they have never loved at all. Here's an interesting difference. What is the real reason?
Initially, idealization takes place in any relationship. Only women usually idealize love, and men are its object.

What usually happens as a result?
Since a man marries one can say to an illusion he invented, and not to a real one that lives with him, then, accordingly, after a while he reveals his delusion and interprets him as "out of love".

A woman in this regard is more down to earth. She is able to get used to changing conditions and trusts intuition more than the logic of events. A woman is not disappointed in her partner as often as a man, because she initially knew with whom she connects her life. If the marriage falls apart, then she comes to the conclusion that it was not love. Because in the female mind, love is something eternal.

The very words that he fell out of love have a double meaning, emphasizing that the woman is also to blame. I did something wrong, so I fell out of love. Where did men get this habit of shifting all the blame onto the woman? Why is it easier to shift all the blame onto a companion than to simply ask for forgiveness? It's simple, women made them so. By nature, each is originally a mother, she is tolerant and calm in relation to her son. This is the effect of the veiled attraction and relationship between parents and children.

It is worth noting that while a woman has feelings for her soul mate, she is able to understand and forgive a lot, meanwhile sacrificing herself. And exactly the opposite, if she does not love someone, then you will not find a more unpleasant person. A man, in this regard, is more tolerant of his "victims".

It was when feelings for her life partner completely fade in a woman, she decides to divorce. She is beginning to annoy absolutely everything in him, to the smallest detail.

What a man considers an adornment of his life is meaning for a woman. For him, it is a support, for her, it is a goal.

If there are doubts about the divorce, then the time for divorce has not come yet. It means that something still keeps in this marriage, not all the threads are torn. When the decision is ripe, no one can dissuade from this act.

These very strings that hold together are different for everyone. Someone has a financial question, someone does not want to build everything from scratch, and the like. The most important reason, of course, is the children. The family is built not only on the relationship between a woman and a man, but also on the reciprocity of the whole family. If the children and their father are well, then you should probably not rush, it makes sense to wait.

If one side insists on divorce, and the other does not want it, then what to do?

Nothing. You should not forcibly restrain a person, even if he is dear. If he wants, he will find ways to return.

Related articles: Family

Lena hostess 21.12 14:32

Do without reproaches and accusations, let the husband speak more, and you listen and draw conclusions for yourself. Although, when he arrives, you can tell him that you see a way out of this situation in the fact that he will take on the responsibility of supporting and raising his daughter, at least until the time his son is one year old. Explain your decision by the fact that you have already tried to live without him and realized that you are not pulling two young children alone, that before opening the betrayal, you counted on your husband in everything and did not expect him to betray your trust. However, now that he has almost ruined the family, you are forced to think about arranging your personal life while you are still young. Tell him this, and then watch how he reacts. Answer his claims and objections that he, first of all, is a father and is responsible, and that you will no longer allow him to do this to yourself - to leave alone with the children and without support. The author, either you will now be able to insist on changing the rules for yourself, or you will have to gnaw out your new life from another. If the husband wants to run away from the prospect of raising a 4-year-old girl - do not cling, let him run. The main thing is that you have already done - put the question to him point-blank. Who knows, maybe he will have other options for you, with greater benefit. An option that you should immediately agree to (if he voices it) is that your whole family is leaving for the city that he has outlined for his residence, and without any delays in the form of looking for work. If the husband is ready to take his daughter with him, then let them go, and in a week, you will come to him with your son, say that you miss him a lot, and you will stay there. Author, buy time for yourself for now, and then we'll see.

Every woman hopes that her partner will be faithful to her and never look sideways.

But, unfortunately, he reports that many men are prone to intrigues on the side.

If, nevertheless, the husband has changed, then what to do? Psychologist's advice help you get through this difficult situation.

Causes and psychology of infidelity

How to understand why my husband is cheating on me? Let's name the most common reasons for cheating by husbands:

What is a married man looking for on the side? The real reasons for male infidelity:

What does a man feel after cheating?

Most often, immediately after the betrayal, a man experiencing euphoria and joy, even some inspiration. But when this wave descends, he begins to think whether he did the right thing.

And here a feeling of guilt can appear, although not for everyone. A man can even imagine the reaction of his wife if she suddenly finds out about his betrayal.

But if a man decides to cheat again, and then again and again, then soon he ceases to experience both joy and guilt. He gets used to this situation, it becomes completely normal for him.

What if he himself confessed?

What to do if the husband nevertheless told you about his adventures?

1. First of all, calm down. No need to immediately throw a tantrum and drive him away. Think, because if he is unfaithful to you, then he repented.
2. Stay on your own. Think about whether you can live in peace further, knowing that this man was with another? No hidden resentment. Know that it's not easy.
3. Now talk to your husband again. Find out from him and ask how he sees the future.

How to make your husband fall in love with you again? help you!

Walks and does not recognize: what to do?

What if the husband is cheating and lying? If you somehow found out about the betrayal, but you just can’t get recognition from your husband, then pay attention to the following points:

What to do if a man cheats? Psychologist's advice:

How to behave and what to tell him?

Such a conversation does not go unnoticed for both sides. Both you and the man will difficult and painful to discuss this topic. But it cannot be avoided either.

No need to make a scandal, pour accusations and insults. First of all, let him know that you have doubts about his loyalty or evidence of infidelity. And give him the floor.

After he confirms what he did, in a calm tone, ask why he did it, what he lacked in your relationship, and how he sees the future. Listen carefully to him answer, and then tell how you feel and what you think about your relationship now.

I hate my husband for betrayal

and recover after her husband's infidelity?

Keep yourself in control and adequately treat your man after you find out about the betrayal - extremely hard.

Therefore, the first thing to do in order not to break firewood is to retire and think about everything. Are you ready for it? Can you temper your hatred? Or will every time you look at your husband imagine him on the other?

Take a break for a few days. Get together and decide for yourself everything. And if you decide to put an end to the relationship, then you should not be afraid and worry. You have every right to do so.

If you decide to have a family, then you will have to make a lot of efforts to return the relationship and trust to the previous level. To do this, you will need to talk a lot and discuss the problem, as well as treat your husband with understanding.

It will be necessary to drive away every negative thought regarding his betrayal or hatred towards him.

And only after long and hard work over yourself, you will be able to treat your spouse well again.

What should I do if my husband has a mistress? Primary actions:

Is there family life after what happened?

Real stories:

If your husband or loved one cheated on you, what should you do? Personal experience:

How to restore relationships?

How to get your husband back after cheating? If you still decide to return your husband to the family, then use the following tips:

How to learn to trust? The most difficult thing after treason is to restore relationships. It takes a lot of effort. But you must understand that there will still be no former trust between you. But you can try to work on this:

1. Understand that treason will not be forgotten at the snap of a finger. This can take a lot of time and effort. Get ready to work on yourself.
2. Talk to him. For a long time and a lot. Discuss everything, express your feelings. This will help you get closer.
3. See a psychologist. He will teach you how to forgive your husband, help you sort out your feelings and start trusting your husband again.
4. Tell your spouse that you don't trust him the way you used to. But you can try to learn this, only you will need his help and support.
5. Focus on the positive. It will be difficult, but you need to constantly celebrate his actions that show his good attitude towards you.

I can’t trust my husband again after infidelity: what should I do? Not all women can continue to live with their husband after they find out about the betrayal. What should I do if I can't trust my husband?

1. Together, learn to build your relationship. Your husband needs to be patient and teach you to trust him again.
2. See a psychologist. If you can’t cope on your own, then a competent specialist will work on your grievances and help you move on.
3. disperse. Yes, it's hard. But if you cannot trust your husband, then why such a family life?

What should I do if my husband is constantly cheating? How to improve family life?

Understand that constant cheating will not stop. One thing is a one-time affair, and another is a regular mistress. So you can either accept this state of affairs, or disperse - the choice is yours.

What to do so that the husband never cheated?

Stick to the following tips:

• look after yourself. Men love to make their wife pleasant to look at;
• take an interest in his affairs. Sincerely ask how his day went, what was interesting, how his parents are doing. If he is not in the mood, ask what happened and, if necessary, give advice. Support him in everything;
• monitor your emotional state. If you are constantly grumbling and offended, then who will like it? Also, you do not need to overly control it, follow every step;
• don't be dependent on it. Men do not like it when a woman completely submits to their will. It must have a stem. So let you have your own interests, time to meet friends and various hobbies. Do not give all your free time to your husband;
• diversify your intimate life. Try new poses, costumes and experiments.

Forgive betrayal or not- it's up to you. But be sure to make your choice consciously and deliberately.

Husband has changed! What to do if you find out about cheating? Sexologist's advice:

Good afternoon dear friends! Male infidelity is an extremely painful issue. Surviving the betrayal of a loved one is very difficult. Many women at such moments feel that this is the end. Is everything so bad? What if the husband is cheating and lying? No time for tragedy! Let's talk.

A little respite

If you just found out about what happened, the best option is to live separately. Few people are able to continue to feel comfortable around a traitor. Psychologists recommend throwing out negativity at your husband if you feel that the cup has overflowed. Let the anger come out, since the person deserves it! Just know the measure. Your goal is to get rid of emotions in order to analyze the situation with a clear head.

So you have 3 options. You can either forgive the cheater and try to restore the relationship, or break up with him, or pretend that nothing happened. There is no universal method, so you should decide for yourself what is best for you. Which way is the most relevant?

When you want to leave...

Everything is fine

Usually adult women who have already had grandchildren prefer not to notice betrayal. During this period, intimacy and, sometimes, even the relationship itself fade into the background. Especially if the marriage was not perfect before. Adult women have changing interests, but they are not ready for such drastic changes. As a result, everyone lives for himself: the wife nurses the kids, and the husband goes to the left. Only life remains common. I do not recommend this option for young girls. If you want to love and be loved, choose something more specific.

It is especially dangerous to try to hush up the conflict solely for the sake of children. An unhappy woman will still start to break down. Will children be comfortable in such conditions? Do not forget that the child will adopt the family model. Later, he will behave in the same way as the parent of the corresponding sex: either change or tolerate.

Is it possible to forgive?

In general, you can let go of all grievances and move on with your life. But only if the spouse really repents and asks for forgiveness. Start with a frank conversation. Ask your husband to be as honest as possible, even if some things are uncomfortable to talk about. You can somehow survive the betrayal, and a lie completely kills the relationship. Explain to your spouse that you should not lie for the sake of marriage, otherwise nothing will work out.

Listen carefully. You need to find answers to 2 main questions. Why does a man stay by your side if you have a mistress? What made him move away from his family? If a person is held by children, business, social status, but not love, there is nothing to restore. Of course, you can continue to hold on, but is it necessary to do this? After all, the betrayals will continue.

Forgiving and moving forward is difficult, but it is the only option. Try together to eliminate the cause of change. Be caring and considerate. Be interested in how your spouse is doing, help him, listen to his opinion. Can't sincerely get rid of resentment? Perhaps it's better to leave peacefully, because it will gnaw at you for the rest of your life.

What can't be done?

1. Scandal

After clarifying the relationship for some time, the situation in the family will become quiet. However, after a week or two, all problems will return. Add to that the loss of confidence. A calm conversation is always better.

2. Reminders

Just pretend it didn't happen. Cheating is just a step after which you were able to draw conclusions and strengthen relationships. In no case do not blackmail or poke your husband.

3. Looping

Don't lock yourself up! Life goes on. Do something for yourself. Go shopping, sign up for courses, go in for sports. Hobby, needlework - as an option. Do not let yourself get bored and “stew” in negative thoughts.

4. Intimate hunger strike

Do you think that you will punish your husband with refusals in bed? This is not true. By your actions, you yourself will destroy what is left. By refusing, you seem to be telling the person that you do not need him. If a man thinks that you are disgusted, there can be no question of any strong relationship.

Are you experiencing fits of anger and you can hardly restrain yourself? This is fine. Try to trick yourself: get a piggy bank and "penalize" when you want to scream. As a "tax" select a coin of a certain denomination. You don't need to stock up on them. The trick works like this: you get annoyed, but you don’t have the right coin. You will have to go to the store to change money. While you get ready, go and come back, you will have time to think everything over 100 times. The desire to quarrel will disappear.

Remember: betrayal is not a tragedy and not the end of life. In the worst case scenario, this is a chance to draw conclusions and no longer repeat your mistakes. Perhaps a divorce will be the impetus for a better life. No matter how hard it hurts, you will definitely overcome difficulties.

Has there been a crisis in your family? Tell us about how you got through it. Surely this will inspire those who are going through discord now.

March of Mendelssohn, flowers, smiles, tears of happiness, hot kisses... At such moments it seems that eternal love, burning passion and no sadness are ahead. However, the statistics are harsh, according to surveys, nine out of ten married men have violated their marriage vows at least once, looking for entertainment on the side.

But rarely does a girl, predicting the likelihood of her lover's infidelity, plans her actions in such circumstances before she puts on a wedding ring. Rarely does anyone remember this nuance when signing a marriage contract, with the exception of especially prudent ladies. Therefore, having learned that the husband is cheating but does not admit, we are enveloped in a wave of disappointment and anger. And so it was believed that it was about your family that they would say "lived happily ever after."

Why do men lie? To cover up infidelity, often "out of the access zone", different versions are used, excuses that sometimes contradict themselves. As a rule, the husband does not admit to infidelity until the situation becomes too obvious. Sometimes he himself does not fully understand why he allowed himself the betrayal of his beloved woman. What to do if the husband cheated and does this mean the end of our love with him?

The advice of a psychologist, as a rule, comes from the circumstances of the couple's family life. First you need to analyze the closeness of the spouses, the nature of infidelity and, having unraveled the tangle of not fully clarified moments of cohabitation, find out the reasons for what happened. Contrary to the common stereotype of adultery, the trigger for infidelity can be not only sexual attraction and dissatisfaction in bed, but also a lack of emotional contact, emotional connection, and mutual understanding.

When a man confesses to cheating, it turns out that the ideal, from your point of view, marriage had certain flaws that are difficult to admit to a partner if there is not enough trust, mutual understanding and emotional closeness. The cheaters admit that they succumbed to the temptation under the influence of the desire to repeat the past sensations, novelty, intrigue lost with a permanent partner. The basis for adultery is unrequited love, revenge for the betrayal of the wife or for the unwillingness to understand the spouse, the cold in the relationship. Unresolved problems are fraught with unpleasant consequences, which are better to think about and discuss in advance.

Among the common causes is a casual relationship under the influence of passion, an impulsive impulse.

A kind of emotional "relaxation" without special feelings, experiences, plans. In most cases, the answer to the question of why the husband does not admit to infidelity, the strong half of humanity calls the fear of harming the marriage, hurting the spouse, a frivolous attitude to adultery, as an insignificant fact of the biography, "who does not happen." In addition, love triangles, life in two families are quite common in the modern world.

Changes or not?

Previously, for communication on the side of the traitor, the condemnation of society, ignoring, contempt, up to trial and the death sentence, awaited. In some cultures, an unfaithful spouse can still be stoned. Our society is more tolerant, tolerant of such cases. From a moral point of view, infidelity is a vice, but, like crime, it has a certain degree of severity. Based on the foregoing, the spouse has the right to a kind of "presumption of innocence" if the fact of infidelity is not proven.

The presumption of innocence is a basic principle of criminal justice, which states: "The accused is innocent until proven otherwise." Originates from the legislation of Ancient Rome, which stated: “All accusers must understand that they have no right to bring accusations until they are confirmed by decent and proper witnesses or convincing documents or circumstantial evidence that will be of undeniable force and will be more clear days."

We found out the possible reasons why the husband does not admit to infidelity. But was there really adultery? Are you sure that this is not a game of excited female fantasy, suspicion, jealousy? Perhaps this is an innocent flirtation for the sake of positive emotions or friendly communication? What to do if the husband cheated and is in no hurry to the legal wife with repentance, pleas for forgiveness?

How to bring it to clean water?

Pay attention to his behavior. If the husband cheated and does not talk about what happened, he is in constant stress, fear of being exposed. Forced to control every word, action, invent plausible explanations for frequent departures and "urgent" cases. Sensitive female intuition immediately recognizes the tension of the second half. It remains only to observe and, after waiting for the right moment, to push him to a “heart-to-heart talk” without reproaches, scandal and unnecessary emotions. But first think, are you ready to hear the confession? How are you going to react so as not to lose face? How not to offend him with causeless distrust, jealousy and suspicion? No one knows your husband better than you. Look for the key to his heart so that you never doubt his loyalty and be able to build a strong family union and live, as in a fairy tale, "happily ever after."

Good afternoon, dear girls and women! If you are reading this article, then you are worried about the topic of treason. Yes, men are mostly polygamous. Sometimes one partner is not enough for them, they are bored, they want new sensations. By the way, why only men? Nothing like this! We poor women have been tortured with stereotypes. A man can. He is a male. Are we worse? Think about it at your leisure.

How to 100% know if your husband is cheating

But today, a little about something else. According to statistics, more than 80% went to the side at least once. We will not figure out why this is happening. We will try to define it, calling on psychology and our female observation for help.

Girls, if you suspect that the faithful has gone on a spree, do not dig, for the sake of everything, in his phone, do not call the numbers and in general, do not lower your dignity. None of them are worth it. If you only knew how they boast of this in front of each other.

Smart woman, or 9 signs that her husband is cheating

You can play in a different way, more cunning and clever, as I did. Everything was like nothing, until one day I heard a "strange" conversation of my betrothed on the phone. Doubts crept in. Indeed, I found an SMS of ambiguous content like: "When will you come again?" Of course she was stupid. She immediately revealed all the cards in front of him. He got out. Like a fool, I swallowed everything and forgot it until next time.

I decided to contact a psychologist I knew. And what are the secrets of men she revealed to me. She herself would never have guessed. But there is nothing difficult in this. A little observation and patience.

Behavior

So, the first sign of a walking husband is a change in his behavior. It all depends on the character and on the initial relationship. For example, my husband is always so principled, focused (everything should always be, as it should be, in its place) suddenly became kind of lost, absent-minded. Before meeting with a psychologist, I did not attach any importance to this. And then I looked and saw: something was wrong. Some men, on the contrary, immediately, like naughty cats, become kind and try to make amends.

Extraneous things

Sign number 2 - you began to find foreign objects in him. And it will not necessarily be women's panties in his car's glove compartment. Condoms in a secluded place are the main piece of evidence (unless you use them, of course). Also hair clip, hairbrush and other female attributes. I didn't have that.

Lie

But the third sign is there. I caught my husband in a banal lie. First one, then another. She didn't even touch on betrayal, but she was lying. I just saw his car at the hairdresser's. I called, I wanted to keep company. I ask: "And where are you?". Answer: "At work". And this, mind you, is on the other side of the city. It was like that several times.

Lifestyle, tastes

A very serious sign is when the husband suddenly began to take care of himself more, lead a healthy lifestyle. This can only be prompted by a mistress. If you notice such changes in your husband, this is bad! He didn't just go out on a spree. He has a relationship. Maybe love. Personally, I only noticed a change in perfume. Well, in principle, the husband looks like 100. Most likely, the man started someone if he changed his hobbies or tastes in food.

Manifestation of dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction with your wife is also a sure sign of infidelity. This was my last straw. I probably would have endured for a long time if my beloved did not start comparing me with his new woman. Not openly, of course, but I'm not stupid. My hair is bad, and the excess weight has appeared and other disadvantages. Do you know what you did? You think she was hysterical. No. I said to him, affectionately looking into his eyes and hiding tears of resentment (how unbearable it was, but I endured): "I will fix everything, Seryozhenka!"

I cried the night, the next day after work I changed my hair and went to fitness. I have one "drawback" - I do not drink. Or dignity. It depends on how you look at it. I would have gotten drunk with my girlfriend, felt sorry for myself, swallowed the insult and would have put up with my beloved. But I don’t drink. I had to relax in a different way. You may judge me, ladies, but I am telling you about my personal experience. I speak as it was. I also made a connection on the side. Not fast. But not for long. They say , "Knocks out a wedge with a wedge". After all, they say for sure. Helped. We are not divorced. This time. We live in perfect harmony. This is two. Sergei, as he was told about me, tore and threw. I thought it would go crazy. That's what offended vanity means. But I did not stoop to the point of specifically in front of his eyes with another. This was not the case. I just began to live not for him, but for myself. A man appeared. To be honest, I didn't even expect that mine would come to its senses, work up. It seemed to me then that they just had unearthly love. And it ended as soon as my husband found out that his wife did not miss him.

About three years have passed since that moment. I think it was a good lesson for Sergei. He began to appreciate me more. Although he is more jealous now. But these are already his problems. I feel good.

Lack of intimacy

The sixth fact that should alert wives is the lack of sex. Agree, if your husband does not want you, then something is wrong here. If there is an affair on the side, perhaps the husband will not shy away from marital duty. But if there are feelings, you will feel this detachment.

Mood change

Many men become kind and cheerful after having sex with another woman. , overly sociable and affectionate. Your husband is suddenly funny. This is a signal not for good!

Telephone

Relation to personal belongings and especially to the phone, laptop. Previously, the faithful threw the phone anywhere. And then suddenly he constantly carries with him. Shudders from random SMS and calls. Leaves to talk to another room. Interrupts the conversation if you enter. It is sometimes impossible to reach your husband on the phone for several hours at a time. This is an alarm. Surely there is something.

Stealth, frequent absences

Another sign of treason is a long time on the Internet, minimizing the screen, various passwords in classmates, in the phone. Long absence due to allegedly protracted negotiations, reports, etc.

What should a poor woman do if her husband is cheating?

I want to give you some advice. Even if you know for sure that your man is cheating on you, do not chop off the shoulder, but do not let it go.

First, you need to be one hundred percent sure that there is treason. Secondly, before you pounce on your loved one with reproaches, sit down and think with a cool head why this happened. It is unlikely that only he is to blame. Maybe you made a mistake somewhere. You need to sort out your relationship sincerely. Do not shout at your husband, do not follow him, do not involve others here (especially children), but sit down and ask: what has ceased to satisfy him in you.

Possible options

• The first option - I wanted to experience something new . It happens. Most likely, this is a fleeting hobby. Forgive him!
• The second option is the character of a man. They say about such people: "The grave will fix the hunchback." This is a potential womanizer. He will cheat, even if he is now swearing and lying at his feet. Forgiving such a person and turning a blind eye to his adventures is the most terrible way out. But thousands of families live like this. .
• The third option is love. Unfortunately, it happens. The best way out in this case is to let go. Otherwise, all his life later, he will openly and unofficially consider you the culprit of all his personal failures. Maybe in a couple of months, when the feelings wear out, he will come running to you, tail between his legs. But that will be another story. Now it's better to let go.

Sincerely, Antonina Alekseevna, 33 years old.